Monday, December 30, 2013

A New Year to start...學習活在當下.享受每一刻!


Hi, my dear friends and readers,

2013 is an inspiring, transformation year to many people and me.

Grateful to know so many new people and we are like a big family.

We share
from each other, support each other and grow up each day.

Life is learning, fun and challenge. Let's embrace life and live each day at presence.

學習活在當下.享受每一刻!

A more collection of my Brother's arts for the new year 









31.12.2013

A beautiful birthday cake

Tina : 

This is the most beautiful cake I have ever seen . 
So sweet and kind of you.
What a surprise!

We had a thought exchange and supporting night besides updating recent jobs, assessment  and planning. 

I enjoyed so much about our team work.

Donna

30-12-2013
A flower cake

Four Flowers





 BIRTHDAY CAKE!

Friday, December 27, 2013

傳心行動

Just sent the application form, feeling relieved.

This training course and 傳心行動 is a self discovery and healing journey and also a practice on what I have learnt over the years - on how to love myself via appreciation, affirmation, acceptance and action power.

Via improving myself, I elevate others; while helping to find my self, I help others to find themselves; while empowering others to embrace challenge, I empower myself too; while helping others to find happiness, I will immerse in happiness.

Donna

傳心行動
via DP Mail  on 27-12-2013
傳心行動、全城感動,是DP貢獻社會的新項目,是華山與台灣劉仁州老師一起用心設計的培訓課程。我們會培訓小導師,出外帶領小型工作坊。劉老師會教導我們如何帶領敏感度培訓和深度醫治這兩個練習,華山則培訓我們如何帶領3A和我語句這兩個練習。完成培訓課程後,每位畢業義工,會出外培訓慈善團體的職員和義工。至於未能即時做小導師的義工,也可以成為輔助者,直到自己可以正式成為小導師,就可以帶領公開的工作坊。傳心行動的培訓班時間是1月17晚上7:30至10:30,1月18早上9:30至中午12:30,1月19晚上7:30至10:30,1月22晚上7:30至10:30,一共四課,必須準時出席全部課程。
一個面向社會的培訓班,最多只有12人,所以,我們會挑選最有潛質成為小導師的熱心義工參加,曾經是DP教練,或者自己在外面曾經帶領工作坊者優先。整個培訓班是免費的,畢業後每個人都需要承諾在兩年內,出外與其他畢業學員一起帶領8次(每次3小時)小型工作坊,角色可以是小導師,也可以是支持小導師的輔助者。
有志參加傳心行動成為小導師,請填寫以下報名表,在1月3日前交。我們會在1月8日前聯絡你。

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Crazy Christmas Party In DP Alumni 2013 瘋狂癲的聖誕夜

Dreams Possible不只是可以盡情分享,互相支持的大家庭,而且可以放縱狂歡的地方,讓人到難的放鬆,開心.

The party strikes me that DP is a family in which not only we can share different thoughts, feelings but have crazy fun. I thought many people could have had other activities last night, but like you and me, we chose to go back to a specially intimate family. I expected to have a whale of time that I didn't have for a long time. Then we did have this. I also had a fast, decent sleep last night...





Sunday, December 22, 2013

How to be influential ?





If we can influence others, if we can empower others, our potential will develop fully and make a big difference to ourselves and others.


The thing is no matter you want to or not to be influential, from your first crying when born, you have made a big impact on your family and people around you.

Influence is no longer about doing something to someone to get what you want. Real influence is about forging deep connections quickly, stepping into someone’s world authentically, and striving for consistent win/win outcomes.
we build greater trust with the recipient of the message by profoundly increasing safety, belonging, and mattering.

How to be more influential and connect people in more intimate way?
  • Be sincere and frank. Be smile and relaxed. Be interesting. With pure intention to help others while  helping self or healing self. 
  • Show our courage,compassion and empathy.
  • Take our ego at the door and focus on others' issues and help them to solve. The more we put others' interest at the first place, the more we are in alignment with collective subconsciousness. HUMANITY TAKES CONTROL.
  • Let people be themselves, relaxed. The more relaxed, the more happier and creative we are.
  • By sharing our fears, failures and setbacks and gratitude even in downside, we are encourage ourselves and others to gather strength to pick up

This because we speak out for other people when sharing our shadows/darkenss, we create resonance, makes us more human, more humble, equal and ordinary. People will feel we are reachable, approachable, understanding with passion to help them.

Carl Jung once said  “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

To share our own vulnerable parts and see our darkness will connect people massively, as we are talking about human weakness and set an example of daring to face our fears (core emotions -selfishness, guilt and helplessness,   jealousy…), showing our compassionate and forgiveness.

To be influential means we need to be high self confidence on ourselves. Self affirmation via hypnotherapy on confidence will help us to achieve it. The reason is hypnosis is all about pretend and imagination. Any change takes place in subconscious mind.  So if we convince our subconscious mind to trust us that YES, WE Can by affirmation, we can build a belief that YES, WE CAN. SUBCONSCIOUS MIND doesn't know the difference between reality and imagination, they will project our belief to outside to show Yes, We can. That is action power. The more we pretend, the more our subconscious mind will be convinced and the more action we will take to prove our belief  Yes, we can. 

What really struck me in the yesterday DP training  come to the following two points:

1  How to be a person with vision but without too much pressure?

 Vision is not expectation. 

Here is what Mandela statement of the importance of Vision.
Vision without action is just a dream, action without vision just passes the time, and vision with action can change the world." (Mandela)

Expectation involves under estimation - without considering the possible limitations, mistakes and failures to occur. But as a fact of life, failures and mistakes are normal, if we embrace any changes or mistakes, we will just enjoy the process, at the same time prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

2 How to be truly let go ?

“Let go” doesn't mean we don’t care about our issue, instead, we can see it from different perspective – a more proactive, positive , or optimistic views towards issues so that we can find better choices to solve it with our resources and creativity and truly move forward.


23-12-2013

自家教育分享會的反思 A review and reflection on Home Education

自家教育分享會的反思
Updated 22-12-2013 


自在家庭教育分享會(9/11/2013 by DP) , 親身看到久聞的張惠侶(Cam Highfield), 聽到CamKaren Chow (DP19) 的分享。看到家長們是如何以最大的努力和付出,以孩子為本,去幫他們自由發揮,發展興趣,健康成,自己也一同成長。發現“愛與自由”不是什麼遠不可及的理想,不是高調,愛與自由可以無處不在,是選擇!

Cam曾任電台、電視記者。在2005全家,包括兩名女兒乘雙體帆船遊歷太平洋近五年,生活被大海圍繞,大地成為了教材.回港後嘗試兩年主流教育後感到傳統學習模式並不適合女兒,遂向教育局申請在家自學,讓孩子可在沒有過多功課及考試壓力下學習和成長.兩人向教育局解釋原因,後跟官員開會詳談時提交了教育計劃書,簡介各科學習內容及初步學習時間表,最終獲局方口頭同意, 並每半年進行家訪視察孩子進度。”(自在家庭教育工作坊)Cam 認為,孩子成長期間,最重要的是品德和體魄.多給他們人生體驗,比贏在起跑線更為重要.因為人生體驗累計人生經驗,從中建立正確的價值觀,正面的思維能力,是孩子最需要的培養。

Karen的大女兒七歲了,大部分時間是home education. 沒有逼女兒學這學那(根據最近一項調查,香港大部份興趣班都不是孩子真正的喜好) ,一切以女兒的好奇心、興趣和意願出發,造就女兒高質素的EQIQ發展。

Karen 全家都來到分享會,並介紹活潑可愛的大女兒給我們認識。原來她四歲已可以爬到兩層樓高的樹上。媽媽Karen卻站在遠遠的望著, 毫不擔心,媽媽相信女兒的能力, 女兒的肢體協調能力便發揮得非常好。她學的興趣班都是她喜愛的,還有不少好朋友呢. 最近的生日會,她邀請的大大小小20位朋友參加。英文能力已遠遠超過同齡的孩子。自己一邊吃飯,還會餵一歲的妹妹吃飯。



反觀當今不少父母,為孩子安排各種各樣的活動, 搞到孩子和自己都筋疲力盡。其實有沒有考慮到孩子夠不夠休息,喜不喜歡?他們真正的潛能在哪裡?這樣是在愛孩子嗎? 是否有點本未倒置?

看到CamKaren夫婦給與子女的一切,不理會世俗,完全跳出框框,根據需要,選擇Home Education,讓孩子有充分的時間做自己喜歡做的事,在輕鬆、充滿愛的環境中,快樂地學習、健康地成長。他們的做法令我深感父母的高度決定孩子的未來, 孩子不是容器, 而是可以點燃的火把;父母的作用是要去鼓勵孩子,點燃他們生命之火,令他們感到生命的價值,學習探索和追求理想。 “父母成熟了,孩子就成才。”

在場朋友都有分享心得。其中兩位老師说的好:(大概意思)

Red: 教學是生命影響生命的過程。老師需提倡和鼓勵學生去發現問題,處理問題.享受解決困難的過程。


 Jeff: 老師的責任是創造環境,打破框框,保持動機,讓孩子不怕失敗。最重要是家長不要怕失敗。

回想自己成长的經歷,好感恩在一個完全沒有壓力,充滿愛和分享,尊重和輕鬆的家庭成長,父母為了我們三子女的教育,放棄自己喜愛的教育工作,來到香港,從零開始;他們支持我们,創造機會给我们,讓我們去發夢,去做自己喜歡的事;他們以身作則,有商有量. 這些都是我回味的人生,我應繼承的精神。

我好喜歡華山在“愛與自由工作”坊所講: "真正的愛﹐讓你我她都自由﹐坦然表達自己最真實和脆弱的部份﹐不必偽裝和掩飾。這份自由﹐讓我們愛得輕鬆﹐充份尊重自己的良知和需要﹐不會恐懼失去對方﹐因為根本沒有慾望去佔有。真正幸福﹐就是在愛裡享受遼闊的自由和信任。"

http://www.dreamspossible.hk/archives/5057


不論是自家教育還是學校教育,最重要是如何給孩子的愛– 創造讓他們愉快成長的空間。從他們身上,我感受到何謂真正的愛和自由。

共勉!





Thursday, December 19, 2013

Review on Psychodrama therapy and depression workshop 心理劇體驗工作坊- 心演抑鬱情 (III)

I just had the experience in the course. It was a self searching journey, a communication with our inner world in a physical and spiritual forms. Despite a short course, we all get to see ourselves in a depth and got to know how to conquer depression and help others as well to some extent.

I was happy to study with a group of professionals working in the field of health, social care, education, training. As a hypnotherapist, I am thinking how to apply psycho-drama therapy as a group therapy in individual process and self- hypnotherapy - inner drama process.

In fact the course was very challenging to me in terms of using English.

The general feedback was this course is very practical in helping people to know themselves and to communicate better. And it is more effective than traditional phsyco-therapies in handling emotional issues in daily life as it is very flexible, creative, spontaneous.

Here is the wiki's words on its purposes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodrama

In a session of psychodrama, one client of the group becomes the protagonist, and focuses on a particular situation to enact on stage. A variety of scenes may be enacted, depicting, for example, memories of specific happenings in the client's past, unfinished situations, inner dramas, fantasiesdreams, preparations for future risk-taking situations, or unrehearsed expressions of mental state in the here and now.[2] These scenes either approximate real-life situations or are externalizations of inner mental processes. Other members of the group may become auxiliaries, and support the protagonist by playing other significant roles in the scene.[2]

Action Methods are used to enable past, present and future life events to be explored. Issues or problems and their possible solutions are enacted rather than just talked about.
Whether we are seen as stereotypes or as individuals depends upon our language and perspective. The art of psychodrama includes the recognition of a person's private and metaphorical language and the use of multiple perspectives to elicit the subjective experiences of the protagonist, the director and the group members.
Psychodrama can be used in a group or individually for therapy and personal growth. It can also be applied to family and couples therapy.

I learnt not only from Anna, the trainer, but the helpers and from our own classmates. It was grateful to see people can be open-minded  to share their intimate, repressed feelings, experiences through a safe and trustful environment, making me feel the world is getting smaller, warmer and all people are similar inside when we see ourselves subconsciously. We can become more connected if we learn to talk to our heart.

A lot of self reflection along the way of our own real life dramas here:
1
Depression comes from high expectation of ourselves, inner child shadow and from our body malfunctions, etc. From mirror effect, we can see ourselves and others from the outside, thus understand both better. This is a turning point to be compassionate, understanding, let it go
 ( 放下), to be honest to our true self. Learn to love ourselves!
2
Happiness starts from families, starting from a happy childhood. As a parent, learning to set our children free is crucial. Over protection can be a pressure and burden in children and parents themselves.
3
To get detached from a confused, deeply attached situations are not easy. But to have further suffering from the lousy relationship is harsher to self and others. Here I  learnt to see things in different points of view, get a new insight and attitude towards people, and move forward.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychodrama
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-healing-crowd/201011/what-is-psychodrama

20-12-2013



Review on Psychodrama therapy and depression workshop 心理劇體驗工作坊- 心演抑鬱情 (II)

PSYCHO-Drama therapy has been my dream course for ages. I didn't expect my first 'serious' experience on it was in English. What an experience it was!

The course was organised by Christian Family Service Centre and HK Centre for Psychodrama and Drama Therapy.
Anna, our trainer from LONDON Centre for Psychodrama
Although the two-day short course ( 17,18 December, 2013) on drama-therapy came to an end, the scenes of our dramas in real life, the messages and reflections are still storming in my brain and will go on for a long time for sure. Anna's soft, sweet, warm but affirmative voice showed me that confident voice doesn't mean to be loud but be heard with convincing, impressive power from our mind.

In Chris Howard NLP, Stage Speaking course and Dreams Possible, I gave high credit on drama therapy, which could bring to audience with huge impact on their subconscious mind, strong clinical effect on emotion issues. One of the most important things learnt from Anna was asking questions, powerful questions that the protagonist ( the coachee) can full answered by themselves after they see through their issues and reflect from what consequences they have been suffering and continuously to suffer if not making a new choice.  

Through this course, I discovered some basic elements that makes dramatherapy so powerful -
1
To identify issues, the big advantage of dramatheray is that it can fully apply "Voice/audio/kinetic" factors to stage. The three factors are the most essential to build memory in subconscious system of human being, producing vivid ACTIONS OF HOW EMOTION ISSUES LIKE DEPRESSION HAPPENING.
2
Besides real roles in the issue, like a family issue with each member in the scene, abstract feelings can be expressed in physical form - expectation, curiosity, anger, courage, hurt, excitement can carried out by auxiliary roles via talking and acting themselves. I was chosen to be "tears" in a scene although we didn't know each other, which let me feel much different from just being an outsider of issues. Most importantly, transformation and sublimation magically happens when the positive and negative are fighting each other, and usually positive feelings prevail as it is the only way out. 
3
When different roles plus abstract concepts, feelings vividly come to the stage by role reversal process, protagonists start to detach from the issue and listen to their heart talk, their inner feelings, inner child's voice and desires; they can see the issues from different people's point of views and get a multi-dimensions about a case. When people can see issues from other people's view, things are much easier to resolve, compassion, forgiving, understanding are gradually built as a warm melting agents to the iceberg. 
4
The big difference between traditional emotion clinic and psychodrama probably is at here -emotional issues turns to tangible feelings (by roles in VAK), and then turns to spiritual transformation.   (physical is spiritual) 
5
Keeping asking questions and let the protagonist to answer, and use their own words to teaching back by themselves.

I also did a short role play to express my thanks and appreciation to my husband when a classmate to play as him. That was a touching moment, I even moved by my own words. I can't take happiness and love I have had for granted when I saw people who are suffering from depression.

How to deal with depression?
The course gave me many insights on this topic:
1
depression comes in different forms:
·         Problems with sleep
·         Irritability
·         Anxiety
·         Tiredness
·         A lack of energy
·         Problems with concentrating or making decisions
·         Talking about feeling hopeless or helpless
·         Talking about feeling guilty or unworthy
·         Talking about death or suicide
·         Engaging in reckless behavior
·         Not taking care of her personal appearance or her home
·         Withdrawing from friends and family

·         Missing work or school

2
Depression can kill as it causes serious chronic diseases from heart attacks to cancer!
But depression can be cured as we are human, human is vulnerable and depression is only a reflection of our dark shadow to an extreme situations. So if we can shine with positive beams from physical exercises to positive ideas, activities, we can stand up and bounce back.
My favorite activities to prevent depression are dance, hypnosis practice (stories listening), volunteering, writing, sharing in group...

One of the best ways to tackle depression is to walk out of home, to meet people and sharing...Never keep to self. When we see others are more suffering from ours, when we see depressed people are living at presence eventually, we see life is a choice.

3
POSITIVE Self hypnosis and affirmation is most practical ( anytime, anywhere) for people to listen to their heart, to listen to their inner child voice and health need. Semantic need! To find own available resources, wisdom and creativity to resolve our own issues.  The only way out is to face own shadow and clean it. That is because all coach is eventually self coach, psycho-drama and hypnosis is parts of coaching processes. 

What drama therapy means for a clinical hypnotherapist?

As a clinical hypnotherapist, I am thinking how to apply the themes, principles learnt from the course in hypnotherapy.  
First, by asking questions, the protagonist answers with reflection, and they use their own words to teaching back by themselves.
Second, emphasizing on expressing feelings, and asking feeling to talk -by voice and props - let them talk and perform in clinical hypnotherapy. That is my main learning from the of drama-therapy - turn abstract feelings ( feeling in head) to physical ( feeling in heart) and spiritual transformation from darkness  to sunshine, from depression mood to health, bright mood will take place.












Workshop on Psychodrama therapy on depression 心理劇體驗工作坊- 心演抑鬱情 (I)

Just completed a 2-day-workshop in psychodrama therapy on depression. Here is a set of pictures to give us a reflection on depression:
?

Thinking what?

What do you think about this?

And this ?

This?


                                                       The key symptoms of depression
·         Problems with sleep
·         Irritability
·         Anxiety
·         Tiredness
·         A lack of energy
·         Problems with concentrating or making decisions
·         Talking about feeling hopeless or helpless
·         Talking about feeling guilty or unworthy
·         Talking about death or suicide
·         Engaging in reckless behavior
·         Not taking care of her personal appearance or her home
·         Withdrawing from friends and family

·         Missing work or school

While clinical depression was once considered a "woman's disease," more than 6 million men in the U.S. have depression each year. Unfortunately, the lingering image of depression as a female condition may keep men who are clinically depressed from recognizing the symptoms of depression and seeking treatment.
Depression actually affects both sexes. It disrupts relationships and interferes with work and daily activities. The symptoms of depression in men are similar to the symptoms of depression in women. But men tend to express those symptoms differently. Common symptoms of depression include loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities, fatigue, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and apathy. In women, depression may be more likely to cause feelings of sadness and worthlessness. Depression in men, on the other hand, may be more likely to cause them to be irritable, aggressive, or hostile. http://www.webmd.com/depression/depression-men
http://www.ask.com/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder
http://depression.about.com/od/depressionsymptoms/f/Signs-Of-Depression.htm

THE MANY DIMENSIONS OF DEPRESSION IN WOMEN

http://seniorhealth.about.com/library/mentalhealth/blwomendepress_dim.htm