Friday, August 30, 2013

Use INNER GUIDE to Solve Emotional Issue

This is the second time to use INNER GUIDE and inner child concept to deal with the issue of our damaged car.

Just days ago, whenever the BMW appeared in my mind, my eyes would fill with tears. It has been with us for six years with lots of fun, joy and so much learning. The more I drove it, the more I loved it. 

But inside my sorrow, I could see my connection to the car is a symbol of a love and deep concern of my family.

I know INNER GUIDE can help me to face my sadness and grief towards it.

After falling into trance of self-hypnosis, I felt my INNER GOLDEN SHADOW - the GREAT MOTHERS - MS Louise Hey appeared in front of me. She was smiling to me, holding my hands. Suddenly a surge of warm current flowed into my head down through my body and limbs.

What did Ms Louise Hey said to me? 

She said:

Sometimes a tragedy on surface can turn out to be a beautiful, momentous event in life. 

I think so. But how? 

She said first, accept the fact, no matter whatever the reason was.
Acceptance is a great power one has to build. If you don’t have the power of acceptance then you will not be able to be in tune with life. You will be in conflict with life.

Second, forgive the driver. There must be a reason for the incident. Give him time to reflect, to be aware of his inner shadow. There are lots of struggles and pain when facing one’s vulnerability. All we need to give him is love and care, treating him as an inner child of yourself, giving him confidence and support. That is enough.

Third, express your direct feeling without emotion and show your empathy to his suffering. 

I realized that if I don't forgive him, I cannot forgive myself. I am hurting myself. That is stupid! The only way to stop hurting myself is to forgive him, to take care of his emotion in more compassionate way.

Through this process, I was relieved a lot. The strong self can only be built when facing our own vulnerability. From type A to H, here I found the key.

Then, it comes to Acceptance, Action and Appreciation (3A from DP) that helped me to further delete negative emotions and be more aware of my own shadow, as well as the valuable resources in my subconscious mind.

Now what I need to improve most is to cultivate myself with more compassion and forgiving mindset  Then I can be wise/tough enough to face daily challenges and empower myself and others to live at CAUSE. 

The gift that I received from the hypnotic inner guide process is -

Emotion is a signal from our subconscious mind that tries to push us to take care of it, face it, solve it and let it go so that we can  MOVE FORWARD. 

Dear Ms Louise Hay, you say to us in the book: 

"You can heal your life". 

I couldn't agree more.

Everyone has an ability to solve their problems once they face their inner selves. 

Everyone can be their best healer, best coach. 

Yes, I can! 


Friday, August 23, 2013


Just completed my first hypnosis small course today the first time in my life immediately after I got the title of certified hypnotherapist. It was a joyful, relaxing experience.

My 'students' were all high intelligent people despite the fact that they were all retired seniors, from a professor, senior engineer, lecture, chemist to medical doctor. 

They were my parents, aunt, my husband and a friend of my parents. Two of them are over 80s.

I was a bit wondering if they were too old to be hypnotised. According to my intuition, I thought I could. The key was they all have good imagination, curiosity and willing to learn and to have a good health.

What inspired me to start the short course was Dr Leung, who volunteered to be my mother's doctor for her back pain. He said he wanted to know something about hypnosis as he believed this could help his patients. He shared with us that some patients died so soon once they knew that had cancer, not because of cancer itself but fears and anxiety. People with positive mindset will more likely survive from cancer and major diseases. They have much happier, longer life span than expected. 

His words encouraged me to start a course for them: esp. for my mom and my aunt who have suffered from insomnia for ages. To my surprise, they were all happy to participate. Without Dr Leung's encouragement, I could not have such a course so soon and could not show my deep care and concern to my loved one, including my aunt and husband and parents through the content of the course.

The trial course had given me some insights and reflections:

The first senior age class proved that age is not a barrier for hypnosis as long as people have imagination and intention to improve and they can concentrate.

In this class, I used 1/2 time for them to share and participation, they became my teachers as well. I learnt so much from the process. 

Meanwhile I found there were so much for improvement from the experience. I will keep trying and improving.

Through the course, they discovered their potential that they never knew - their ability to fall in to trance and ability to learn something they never imagine.

Amazingly, Aunt just realised she has choice to manage her sleep issue besides Sleep Pills. She has stopped the expensive sleep pills for more than one week.

They found their dreams' insightful meanings - protection, self-reflection, self-healing and guidance functions. 

Because of sharing and discussion, the small class was full of interaction and interest, esp. in today's DREAM ANALYSIS and last one - how to fall asleep faster...

In the end, I shared my experience for pain killing and sleep hypnosis finally: Use affirmation, positive ideas in the sleep hypnosis. The most powerful sentences for pain killing, emotion elimination and good sleep are:

I am sorry. Please forgive me.
Love you. Thank you.

Dr Leung said, he has never ever said the above to his wife in his life. He would say them to his wife immediately when he was back to home tonight. 

Nothing was more happier than I heard Dr Leung's loving refection and aunt's determination to manage her sleep quality by hypnosis and any non-medicine approach.

What a grateful days for me!

Here is a gift to all of you - Have a nice sleep.


A letter to my friend sharing and introducing DP courses

A letter to my classmate about DP courses

Here is the link of the non-profit organisation for our heart and soul ((心靈成長)):

In this community, both of my son and I learnt so much that I cannot compared with any other self development courses I have had in the past ten years. Our relationship improved organically, what we learnt has brought to daily life and gradually formed a family culture - communication in a understanding and forgiving manner.

Really special course, indeed. It's an integration and excellent application what we have had before in an unconsciously way, which made students' transformation much fundamentally, comfortably, joyfully from our deep hearts.  活出自在的人生.

In the class and out of the classes like workshops ( so many sharing and activities, training, short courses afterwards for continuous growing up and development free or at so economical cost for her vision is not for profit but for love and caring to the society), we witness and participate huge problem solving practice (Endless cases) from divorce issues, childhood traumas, family violence, family ice-relationship, grief, suicidal family issues, mental diseases families' issues... you name it. Amazingly, students grow up and become much happier afterwards. More referees from inside the classmates and we are like a family. It gives us a sense of loving and belonging. 

Many people, no matter who are trainers/trainers-to-be or simply not in the field, immerse themselves in the classes to learn, to practice how to be their own leaders, life owners and life coaches, because eventually all hypnosis is self-hypnosis and all coach is self-coach. Purification and purification. Then they have chances to be coaches in DP and the benefit is tremendous. 

Like me, one of my childhood dreams was to be a teacher or social worker, now I have been inspired to live up my dream as DR Chow Wash Shan teaches me: it is never too late to practice our dreams.

Finally I sincerely thank you for your advice for my improvement - practice makes perfect. 




I am sorry. Please forgive me. love you, thank you.

This is the most powerful tool in my sleep hypnosis. Once I feel grateful, I can sleep better and faster.


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Practice of past life on myself

As both our two classmates could go into their past life to find certain clues they would want to, I was curious if I could.
Then I studied more about Past Life Regression Therapy to give myself confidence and courage. I realized Dr Brian Weiss has used this technique to heal many people with their diseases, esp. mental issues; her daughter's sight-threatening cataract at her age of 25 was gone after the process of her father's prior life process at a hospital. here is the link.

Tonight, I went to have a trial to see "who I was" at An Evening With Dr Brian Weiss from YOUTUBE. I trusted Dr Weiss would give me a safe and wonderful journey. Strangely, I didn't see it but feel refreshed as a relaxation hypnosis because Dr Weiss gives a beautiful hypnosis journey, not a "death journey." actually despite death is a part in it.

I could felt and followed my childhood, in my mom's worm and my birth time. Then nothing I could see. My memory was just blocked when his voice was on past life! For quiet a while when Dr Weiss said it was time my life ended, some pictures came back. A long old bamboo opened tube lying outside a hat on a top of mountain. But it was very quiet, peaceful, spiritual mountain. Nobody was around.

Then it was time to go back to present life.

Dr Weiss said the more you try, the more you could go into deep soul and they more succeed in past life regression. That means practice should eventually help people to see their past life usually. Interesting. 

From watching his patients sharing, I found  people who have been cured by the PLT  had  a huge relief from the long lasting negative emotions; they can get a learning from their past life, they could release anger/ sadness/sorrow/fears/ and forgive themselves and people in the event. Then they transform from history to life like a rebirth.

What I learnt most from Dr Weiss past life therapy is hypnosis is a gateway to our subconscious mind down deep to our huge universe - the soul world. He believes soul is eternal and never dies.  

Before I studied this theory, I was rather fearful about the WORDS - past life. I didn't believe it. Through studying and practicing today, past life therapy is nothing skeptic to me now. Instead I started to be interested in it. I would try to master the skill as it may help some people to release phobia issues or reduce suffering from diseases if necessary one day.

Studying past life therapy let me be more open-minded towards people with 6th sense (陰陽眼)and people who trust there is past life. Just because of yet being able to prove doesn't mean it does not exit. 

This is a big, unexpected rewarding.


Sunday, August 18, 2013

Character analysis by ENNEAGRAM 九型人格

Character analysis by ENNEAGRAM 九型人格.

Just have my forth time on Enneagram study. Every time when touching this topic, I see a bit different myself and have new reflections.

Wow, this test looks rather accurate. The result is almost the same as I have concluded myself. I have mixed character from 2,8, to 9 - a helper, challenger, and peacemaker. As a helper, most of the time my decision making tends more for others rather for self; I am a peace maker as I hate confrontation, on the other hand, avoiding others' upset or dislike doesn't mean it is to make peace but bigger problems may be hidden. Luckily I have challenger's character. I need to develop more challengers' character to make up the helper and peacemaker's weakness. 

Win-Win Communication is not just skill but an attitude, mindset and an art - whole life learning for me.

The Enneagram theory tells me that everyone is unique by birth and but personality can be changed with environments when growing up mentally. That is why for mature people, they have collective merits from No. 1 to No. 9 and less weakness.

It is really not important about the number. Everyone can have many inner parts. The most important thing is to know our strength and weakness.

By using this theory, we can develop our own strength, improve ourselves by learning others' strength, deal with people whose personality is different from us BETTER by understanding their BETTER.

Now I am More open-minded and comfortable to live in difference.

Here is my coach friend Susana's sharing. I fully agree with her.



Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Marriage Secrets Of Highly Successful Couples

An email from my friend:

Aug 12, 2013
Over lunch with a friend one day, Kevin was asked about the "secret of your obviously happy and healthy love relationship."
Kevin responded, "I married a wonderful woman and made the commitment to apply myself to the relationship with the same energy that I place into other important areas of my life: school, work, health, friendships. I didn't want to be casual about the relationship nor take it for granted. My partner has pretty much done the same thing. Consequently, we make a great team. I can't imagine being without her."
Highly successful couples like Kevin and his wife know that making the relationship a top priority is vital. They don't allow it to derail. They know the ingredients that are necessary to keep each other content, happy, healthy and satisfied. To put it simply, philosopher Paul Tillich observed, "Any deep relationship to another human being requires watchfulness and nourishment."
So listen up: Here are the 10 secrets of highly successful couples:
1. Successful couples enjoy each other. It's just that simple. They like to be together, talk together, do things together. Former Beatle Ringo Starr has been married to his wife Barbara for more than three decades. He says the "secret" to the couple's longevity is this: "I'm just blessed that she puts up with me. I love the woman. She loves me. There are less down days than up, and we get on really well. We spend a lot of time together. That's the deal."
2. Successful couples fight skillfully. "In conflict, be fair and generous," is wisdom from The Tao. When two people live together, they are bound to have differences of opinion and disagreements. Successful couples fight but do it skillfully; in a way that leaves the relationship stronger, not weaker. One technique they employ is their choice of words. For example,University of California (Berkeley) researchers looked at "connected" couples and discovered that they tend to use plural pronouns ("we", "us" and "ours") rather than singular pronouns ("I", "me" and "mine"). As a result, they were less likely to feel stressed out after the disagreement than couples who used singular pronouns. "Using 'we language' during a fight helps couples align themselves on the same team, as opposed to being adversaries," notes lead author Benjamin Seider.
3. Successful couples seek and offer forgiveness. They may not forgive and forget, but they do forgive and let it go. When they have done something wrong or hurtful, they offer an apology. When they are the wronged party, they accept the gift of an apology. Successful couples travel the pathway toward forgiving, which is outlined by author Clarissa Pinkola Estes, who cites these four stages for arrival at complete forgiveness:
-- Forgo: Take a break from thinking about the person or event for a while.
-- Forebear: Abstain from punishing, neither thinking about it nor acting on (the offense) in small or large ways. Give a bit of grace to the situation.
-- Forget: Refuse to dwell; let go and loosen one's hold, particularly on memory. To forget is an active -- not passive -- endeavor.
-- Forgive: Make a conscious decision to cease to harbor resentment, which includes forgiving a debt and giving up one's resolve to retaliate.
4. Successful couples are in it for the long haul. "There are only two options regarding commitment. You're either in or you're out. There's no such thing as life in between," says professional basketball coach Pat Riley. Successful couples don't just make promises to each other; they commit. After a marriage that spans 30 years, a couple named Doris and Jim say, "We are happy together because we have lived out our vows -- for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health." When Doris was in a serious auto accident a few years ago she remembers that "Jim was there all the way. He's an incredible husband, the most selfless person. He's the only person in the world I know I can count on."
5. Successful couples are positive about each other.Marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph.D, says happy couples have relationships "characterized by respect, affection and empathy, and they pay close attention to what's happening in each other's lives." Furthermore, his research reveals that happy and stable couples "made five positive remarks for every one negative remark when they were discussing conflict. In contrast, couples headed for divorce offered less than one positive remark for every single negative remark."
6. Successful couples learn and grow together. One couple, after being married for 30 years, decided they would both return to university for master's degrees in liberal arts. "It took us nearly five years. We had a great time being in class together, studying together, reading together. The program allowed us to expand our horizons as we took courses in religion, politics, literature, history, foreign policy. We even persuaded one professor to let us write a paper together: joint authors!" Partners in successful couples play to each other's strengths and interests. If one partner becomes more health conscious, the other joins. If one partner takes up a new activity, the other partner becomes supportive and involved. The end result is a stronger emotional bond and a deeper love.
7. Successful couples never stop dating. That was one of the "secrets" of a happy relationship uncovered by Matthew Boggs and Jason Miller. The duo traveled over 12,000 miles searching and interviewing people they called "marriage masters" -- those married 40 years or more. One common element to many marriage masters was their ability to keep the romance going. Some set aside one evening a week for a date, others planned romantic getaways periodically, while others still met most afternoons for conversation at a coffee or tea shop.
8. Successful couples bring each other joy. In his book, The Real Rules of Life: Balancing Life's Terms with Your Own, Ken Druck, Ph.D, tells about a workshop he gave to his wife as a birthday gift. "She had a beautiful voice that she rarely used. What better gift than to unleash the joy she already possessed." In the workshop, participants of every age and background were encouraged to "vanquish the wagging finger of self-condemnation and sing their hearts out." The workshop high point was a live concert for family and friends. "With the exception of our children's births, I can never recall my wife as having been so joyful and happy."
9. Successful couples adhere to the 60/40 rule. Boggs and Miller also discovered that "marriage masters" have a high level of selflessness. "Walter" whom they interviewed, told them, "I'll never forget what my mentor told my wife and me before we got married 42 years ago. He looked at us and said, 'Most people think marriage is 50/50. It's not. It's 60/40. You give 60. You take 40. And that goes for both of you." It was a principle Walter and his wife adhered to faithfully.
10. Successful couples have shared values. When asked about her successful relationship of 58 years, "Emma," age 87, smiled and proudly said, "It is quite an achievement. It's important to have the same basic values. In other words, if you're a free spender, marry someone who understands that. If you're frugal, you need to marry someone who understands that because money is one of the stumbling blocks in marriage. Fortunately, we had the same values on most things. We usually had the same goals -- we believed in education; we wanted to be moral; we wanted to raise children to be good citizens and to be responsible in terms of finances."

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Finding a purpose of life, live now and at the moment - Practice on NLP


1. Practice on Parts Integration

After the first section on Parts Integration, I watched more demonstrations on this topic. Automatically or subconsciously, my conflict on current job and my passion to be a coach popped up to my mind. Right, it was time to think about my issue and resolve it with this powerful tool. They seemed to trouble me from time to time and resource seems to be not enough for both to develop to their full potential. Do I have to choose one or both?

My left hand elicited my current trading business and my right hand represented my dream to be a coach.

When I looked at my left hand, I heard my business partners' toast for our good business, my mind eye saw cargo ships loaded our goods to the customers and help them to improve production and efficiency and I feel satisfied for what I have done. Profit of the business can also partly donate to people in need. 

When I looked at my right hand, I heard many people are desperate for listeners to hear their voice, to seek for help on their emotional troubles and recovery from sickness...; my mind eye saw how I inspire people to find their true selves and excel their potential to fullness.   I seemed to feel the joy of others' achievement after my coaching courses.

Then I discovered that both sides share lots of common learning and knowledge/skills and resources like I enjoy  meet people, I have intention to improve negotiation skills, communication skills, all need pure integrity, trust and attitude... they are all in a mutual direction.  Most importantly, both give me job satisfaction, a sense of gratitude and fulfillment, let me stay healthy, young and curious about life.

I also realize that my business can actually financially help my passion to empower people spiritually and physically.

After the process, I found the two parts are not contradictory to each other, instead, they are interactive to each other, and one even helps the other. This is the common intent of the two parts, which in whole, make what I am and who I am.

The whole process have given myself more energy to work wholeheartedly and more enjoyably to achieve the common intention and goal - No matter what I am doing, I am making myself more fulfilled, people around me happier and healthy. That is the purpose of my life.

2. Practice on Time Line Therapy

After the Time Line section, I suggested my son and my husband to elicit their time lines. 

What surprised me was my husband's time line was almost the same to my initial one and he was in time! That meant he was quite good at being present and now and have trouble keeping planning and appointments. This conclusion didn't fit for him at all. Through Time looks to be his type anyway…

For my son, he is a typical in-time type. The description of in-time character fits him. The shape of his time line represented he is quite concerning his future and past. He looked at the both side easily and he wanted to control future and learn from the past.

To myself, what I learnt from TIME LINE is first, as I have realized how a person structures “now” on their timeline has a big effect on their quality of life; and shape of the line also means how we concern about our past and how we see our future, I have adjusted my line to be more balanced one – to pay more attention to past lessons and look forward more positively, with intent of living now and the moment, enjoying now and always.

Second I will keep in-time beauty while add through-time beauty to my line, meaning to remain my strength and to eliminate my weakness. I have CHOICE to adjust myself to learn and to have both beautiful characters. 

Time Line teaches me that I have choice.  Life is full of CHOICES.

Donna   13-8-2013

Saturday, August 3, 2013

愛情解碼工作坊 - The Five Love Languages

It was the first time my husband went to a spiritual talk with me so happily, the last night talk  was even special - about LOVE - 爱情解码工作坊.

Nelson created a warm, relaxed (hypnosis atmosphere) condition, his sharing and humble style and thought provoking, inspiring hypnosis process, sentimental voice touched our heart and gave us plenty space and time to dig up the meaning of love, who are our true loved one and how to flourish the love and enjoy the love...

This workshop let me know myself and my husband and love in general better. It will certainly improve our relationship with the hints that we got from the FIVE LANGUAGE OF LOVE:

From the questionnaire, we both found we are the kind of people who tend to listen to words which shows appreciation, and respect. Affirmation, appreciation is most important for both of us.
My husband also desires to have the quality time for communication with me.
For me,  I like people do everything for the family or me or themselves from their own heart and for their own happiness as well. To be responsible for themselves.
A warm and kind touch speaks for thousand words. My husband feels this is very important to him. I will remember this.

This language uses words to affirm other people.

For these people, actions speak louder than words.

For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift that makes them feel valuable in your mind.

This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.

To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

In this workshop, I found most people love hypnosis actually. Nelson is one of the best examples who can use hypnosis in daily life and training period to inspire people and to produce desired results.

Thank you Nelson for giving us such sweet, heartfelt, warm time to realize love is an enjoyment and source of true happiness.