Saturday, June 4, 2022

Search for a true , desired self and your vision

 Summary of section 7 4 6 2022

Soon we come to 7th section. I have done all summary for each section. Writing summary is my habit to give every case a report and reflection for them to learn and think in a long run and to make difference and change. Also it is a process of self coach for  my own development in both therapeutically ( my coaching, counselling skills) and spiritually ( to be a better self)  . 

The purposes of the reviews can be a records of our topics gone through, an action plan and my feedback and yours as well.



Spring roll  business

Here is my thoughts after I understood you better and deeper:

This "project" is a integration of you desires: trauma healing, get out of depression, making some free money to fill up your inner wealth black hole, to connect with the community and pave the way to create your own brand food many your inner desire suddenly come to the point - you are reborn!

You said, yes, you also realised this is a big step to have a new life. You have more energy to clean up your house and take care of your family.

You have made 150$ without pressure. 

It was kind of achievement , congratulations!  I am sure if you carry on this project for a period with good reputation, you will create abundance of wealth spiritually and physically

Gradually you can make it smart and easier, great, that is your talent and ability. While working, you can still care your routine and family

 I was awed to see you are on the way to develop your truly desired self and full of potential to be seen and excelled. As I have said, listening to your inner voice, during meditation, your inner self is eager to find a deeper self, passionate or more relaxed, self controlled self.

 Healing through project, sharing ,self reflection and  coaching others are very effect way to grow up. That is my personal experience. We don't have to be perfect to be a coach, we can coach others to coach self at the same time. We still have ups and downs, That is all OK and that is life, but we become more self recognized , self fulfilled and self life mastered. Right?  That is what I meant today in the Eggroll business part.


Your desire to see your son growth quicker , your daughter to overcome her obstacles to find her lover one to marry and your eldest son to find his favorite career in University.

My comment:

BEN is kind of spoiled single kid while his siblings are much older than him. 

But is also vey reflective and caring, loving kid, his voice is full of affection, attachment to you. He need your attention, concern on his needs, his inner want and care. He just doesn't know how to communicate with you to share his worry, his passion or his anxiety, stress, pressure or his desire in proper way. 

Please try to find a time to talk with him. His comment on eggroll seemed to show he doesn't want to lose your attention if you are too busy in making money as he thought. 

Behind his emotion, he has some trauma that is his life topic to heal. as he is old enough.

 As parents, we can only heal ourselves and inspire them to make change. according to my experiences, I can only to be an inspirer, a coach, accompany, I cannot change him. 不再做拯救者,因爲拯救者最後都會變成加害者和受害者。


One one hand , you want to give them free hands and let him to be more independent ( , but your way can makes it to become opposite: to push him to be repellent. As a digital generation, he need to be seen as a person, a individuals person. 

The grown up experiences at childhood sharing must be very careful, even our hardship stories,  are need to be repacked  before reach to their heard without causing new trauma. ( ignore their develop history, totally different. Very hard to connect without a good atmosphere - like group sharing discussion or peer group effect)  

My son one day said to me: mom, you ask me to take clothes, you make me feel I am a child, devalue me... very strong comment. I was awaked, Oh, he is different,  I need to be careful. 

according to my experiences, i can only to be an inspirer, a coach, accompany, I cannot change him. 

See an article from Mr 劉仁州, our great teacher 


Here is how I heal myself , my deep guilt and rescuing pattern
 ( 拯救者的心態 必是受害者和加害者) to be my own inner  mother:

母親,自己的媽媽 - 我的媽媽成長路




To be your own coach and your daughter's love adviser, please read and explore yourself style and your husband's.

Relationship Attachment Styles - 依附關係的模式

We discussed this to help us to know ourselves better and our other family members better.

Relationship Attachment Styles

我們的童年如何影響我們成年人的親密關係? 從今天我做了對依附關係的深入探索,我明白自己多一些,家人多一些,好多提醒,反思如何做個好伴侶,好媽媽,好女兒。





4 Application of Subconscious power and mechanism

Please read this: we have gone through part of this topic in relation with your own case:

1: be careful of our thoughts, thoughts always become things as our subconscious mind like a computer, what you input , what it outputs. It always does self fulfilment work, like 執行人an executor. 

You fully agreed it.

2/3 /4 this is about belief, whatever your form a belief, your action will follow it automatically. USE this in positive side, it will help us much effortless to achieve something with less fear or fearless. 

But if our belief is limited and negative, it will be create hell to fall. Like a man wants to suicide, kill himself, it is hard to prevent as it is not one day self negative hypnotized result. It is 99% rooted from childhood trauma without be healed and be cured medically. 

Pray and hypnosis, visualization and imagination all has such power. 

For depressed people, Imagination on fear and fear become reality like nightmares Do happens all the time.

Positive imagination and visualization will help much to achieve our dreams and to reinforce our determination. 

Example, you got married to your husband with big difference in age and many other obstacles from culture difference to child hood most important factor was your determination.

5 when one is disconnect with his inner self, lots of inner conflicts will damage the man because inner conflicts are the main cause of nightmares and emotion breakdown or emotion diseases.

6/7/9 if one wants to change perception, limited beliefs , the early the better. Old people is very hard to change compared with younger aged people.

That is why childhood is crucial for a person's self esteem, character building and habit formation. And success is all habit success. 

8 If we want our kids to behaved themselves with orders or bad tonality, that is not good subconscious communication. We more we push them or nag them to make change, the less they want to do it as we have not touch their heart. 


Please read: 


善用与生俱来的潜能 - 夢境治療、催眠治療的功用

To improve your mediation impact to your life, please learn my way:



5 6 2022

In addition to the summary of section 7:


About intimate relationships with your husband: 

you think he has strong belief that marriage 💑 must be maintained as a promise or faith with religious nourishment even the ❤️ love, affection and romance is put aside.

As far as I understand according to your information and lots of test from ups and downs, your relationship is getting much stronger than before.  He is not type of words affirmation but action . His communication style is very different,  thinking mode 思維模式 much various from you. It doesn't mean he does not as much love you as you fell in love. And he also learns from lessons and knows you deeper.

You reminded me of my marriage life experiences over 30 years, and I said,



Your subconscious change is under way all the time 

Finally I asked you during the section period, what kind of perception change affects your life substantially ?

You said 

you have changed from reaction to respond ,

to think from others stories,  their challenges,  previous experiences might affect their emotions to us. Then you will become less touchy and calmer. You can use nicer tonality to communicate with your kids and husband.

 I remember the first section, you gave your self a new belief or requirements:

To be an empathetic mom, to understand family members with compassion.  Now you are trying to be such mom and wife.

Thursday, June 2, 2022

Section 7 preparation guilt and anxiety, depression

我允許,我接納,我經歷 ( script)

Dream recalling Mechanism



How to use Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy in daily life


forgive and gratitude communication skills learning from mistake 25 5 2022 ( SLIDE)

ppt dream therapy for Catherine ( PPT)









就可以form habit


no. 4: I would like to edit the quote abit in relationship to make it clear:

I think the author wants to say we should not be controlled by 

relationship attachment or relationship issues.

[2:51 PM, 5/27/2022] Donna Wong: Relationship Attachment Styles

我們的童年如何影響我們成年人的親密關係? 從今天我做了對依附關係的深入探索,我明白自己多一些,家人多一些,好多提醒,反思如何做個好伴侶,好媽媽,好女兒。

[1:08 PM, 5/28/2022] Donna Wong: 這裏,你也可以明白丈夫多一些,從他的童年到現在,每個人的attachment模式都深受童年影響

[1:09 PM, 5/28/2022] Donna Wong: 我做了這個test,very fast

[1:10 PM, 5/28/2022] Donna Wong: 和我自己現象有些出入,但明白背後test的探索動機


[11:45 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: 生命的元宇宙 - 潛意識與家庭 


這部電影的香港名字是- 《奇異女俠玩救宇宙》,實在誇張,如果沒有看過電影,沒有看過介紹,還以爲是太空科幻電影,我反而喜歡原名 "EVERYTHING EVERWHERE ALL AT ONCE "

電影Title已經告訴了充滿排山倒海、勢不可擋地冲過來的情形。然後令人遐想:EVERYTHING EVERWHERE 代表了什麽?



當生意面臨破產,稅務纏身,又發現女兒原來是一個lesbian, 邁年身體多病的爸爸剛從大陸來和他們一起住...  種種壓力,同一時間排山倒海式的壓來,洗衣店老闆娘壓得透不過氣了!

電影REVIEW 和啓示 ( 我的學習)

[11:45 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: all about ourselves

[11:46 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: every part has our shadow in it

[11:46 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: we can know our husband  and kids bette


[10:41 PM, 5/30/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I mostly practice stilling my mind. Difficult feelings and emotions come up and it is hard to sleep sometimes

[10:42 PM, 5/30/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I think the most important thing to do is to come up with a routine so when I start to overthink I can yield myself to the routine

[11:03 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: you are already doing well in meditation, hiking, biking, buy food, cooking, yoga , go to church...

[11:04 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: looks u want to be  better

[11:04 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: you are so busy mom

[11:04 PM, 5/30/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I need a vision

[11:04 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: you are finding it

[11:05 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: you can ask yourself what do u want to be? what do u most want to be? passionately and happily

[11:05 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: what is in your dream saying?

[11:06 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: just write them down and be do have, to be first, then do it and you will become it

[11:06 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: easy to say?

[11:06 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: yes

[11:06 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: but lots of trauma holding back ,

[11:07 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: that is why if we remove the blocks on the way to your dreams, u can easier to move forward

[11:08 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: physically and psychologically , u are doing this

[11:14 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: last time u said, when u were in meditation state, we call hypnosis state, u could see more clear the truth of yourself. that is a kind of connection with yourself. Please do it every day and whenever u have anxiety and overwhelming difficult feelings

[11:15 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: hiking, to connect with nature.

[11:15 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: just do one or two things constantly is already very good

[11:16 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: no need to do too much

[11:16 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: u will be tired and your emotion, anxiety or sickness  will come if u are too tired

[11:16 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: if i am not wrong

[11:17 PM, 5/30/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I agree

[11:44 PM, 5/30/2022] Donna Wong: great, you got it, 不需完美,要完整清晰自己在做什麽,就OK了

[11:44 PM, 5/30/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: It is holding the vision in my mind and generates the emotions that accompany the dream come true.


How to make friends with anxiety and fears 如何與焦慮恐懼做朋友


( 這也是部分原因,爲什麽情緒狀態下,人會不自覺的投射出自己最不喜歡自己的部分,最想掩蓋的部分,變成別人的部分,因此,自己就感到安全一些。如内疚,本來是自己的一部分,有好處,有壞處。但沒有吸收好處,就會放大壞處,變成自我焦慮和憤怒,有意無意地發泄在別人身上, 造成傷害,自己以爲得到慰藉,其實是一個充滿傷害的避風港和情緒陷阱)


Wednesday, May 25, 2022

It's time to let go ( section 6)

A 人生最重要的不是要完美,而是要完整

1 溝通,是愛的通道,理解,是愛的代名詞。

我今天大部分時間是通過敘事治療,生命故事,人生高高低低,你的經歷、經驗和教訓,學到什麽?瞭解自己的weakness by nature and by life experiences 脆弱和你的strength by your innated ability and learnings.

我想你看到潛意識和意識的世界,每個人都有數個自己,無論正面 ( 你的天使,内在高人和内在小孩)還是反面 ( so called Demons或inner child) , 都是自己的一部分。每部分都有自己的性格,價值觀和attitude,真的好複雜,是嗎?

其實,真正去這樣看自己,就安心好多,接納好多。you are on the right track.

Dan 也有自身的脆弱,不敢和不想面對別人的complciated shadows,背後,可能是自己的投射,他的shadow的反應。隱形的好隱形,也許連自己也不知道。這是不少男士的共通弱點。如果你讀了我的電影review - 探索男士内心世界和grief ( 失去任何東西的不捨和不能接受的狀態和情緒,,,):


男人欲哭無淚時 - 脆弱背後見堅强!


每個人都在演繹自己的人生劇 ( 冰封的心如何打開?)





2 善用潛意識的力量


給自己depression/anxiety ,  打分,從最低谷到最好狀態 10 - 1,



On depression ratings, it was 8. Right now it is about 5. I set up small goals like reading scriptures, remind myself to do small things well and to complete any task I started. I also make myself do exercise like hiking and biking.

從這裏開始,今天晚上你的時間,我們更加深入探索如何走出depression haze 陰霾。


你看到一個通過meditation去感受自己的感受,去觀賞自己的身體變化,感受痛症和stress, pressure,可以幫助你轉化情緒,轉化身心狀態,這是因爲冥想幫助釋放安多芬,釋放帶有慈悲心的催產素和放鬆自己的荷爾蒙,你看事物的角度也寬幅了。沒有那麽緊。比如Ben放學很累,休息一下,你不會覺得不安了。太好了,這樣的方法看事物,你會放鬆,寬鬆別人。

你説的好:通過冥想,你感受到、看到大開眼睛所看不到的東西,比現實更加現實,真實。那就是你回到了自己愛的家庭,你内在的家!真正感受自己身體和感受,情緒的感受,愛自己的表現,用到了自我療愈的力量,這和你的夢境 - I was in agony curling up on the couch. I was exhausted but couldn't sleep. My heart hurt a lot and to then I felt like a new heart was growing underneath the old one. I prayed for it to get stronger because I can sense I was already feeling better

你的夢境與冥想,有異曲同工的效應:過度恐懼、panic后感到非常内耗,迷迷糊糊中,潛意識的高人,也是你自己的渴望,夢想,就是要有一顆完整的心,代替破碎的心,或是自己潛意識要你看到一個美麗完整的自己,從破碎的自己走出來了,她還很脆弱,是的,但她已經知道自己身心成長的道路和方法:以上你説的就是一部分。keep going!

既然潛意識已經啓動了改變自己的列車,就要順勢,充分發揮自己潛意識的力量,夢境已經出現了完整的心,破碎的心是過去式,一路令自己回復自信, no stopping ,a truly self esteem building process!

3 粉紅色的狼,你來吧!我會迎接你。


panic也一樣,但人經歷的深度的打擊,心理創傷在發炎。在痛。如果極度缺少有質素的睡眠,就會有驚恐症。請視它的來到為心理和身體受到巨大的壓力下,產生flight and fight的荷爾蒙,導致的為生理和心理的自然現象,OK?這是用科學化的方法,去解讀自己的情緒狀態和身體狀態。


哪些demons 是什麽?你説他們來勢洶洶,仿佛要奪走你的靈魂,這是非常非常好的心理自我解析。


剛剛失去一筆款項,從騙局中驚醒, 不久你發的那個噩夢,雖然今天沒有時間深入探索,但隱隱約約已經在做解夢。你不覺得嗎?慢慢回味下,看會自己的噩夢,真的會會心微笑呢:好有深度的夢境。

我覺得,沒有任何可惡的夢,都是潛意識的信息,是好東西!!but they disguise with nightmares only. 

經過幾個月的Therapeutical sections,我和你都已經覺察你内心的demons是什麽?


内疚,自卑,沒有安全感,特別是對錢的態度...,渴望別人認同,先生成爲自己的偶像,father figure,同時,也把自己放在一的不平等的地位,infierior position 小看可了自己。這些,都是童年創傷的後遺症,原來一次次被激活,也會傷人。



下次這些demons來了,請他們和你談談他們的内心世界 ( 與情緒深情對話),我已經和你做過内在小孩的幾次therapies,如内疚,自卑和焦慮等,他們的源頭,動機,它們的impact和行爲會帶來什麽結果。寫出來,或感受出來,他們一個個内在不安頓的孩子,就會被聽到,被明白,就會成長,你説的demons,就變成你内在的天使,拯救自己,走出陰霾。大大減少這些很辛苦的“恐怖襲擊”,你會更有力量,這次setback,真正的意義也許就在這裏。

4 人生沒有失敗,只有feedback




I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.

5 陪伴自己,愛好自己,安全感,自己給自己





送對給自己,作爲你每天self affirmation 的一部分。


25 5 2022










Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Summary on 5th section - How to make Anxiety and Fears be our best friends

 今天的section, 一開始看到你的燦爛的笑容,我相信,内在的平靜,學習愛自己的決心,慢慢開始在你心裏種下種子。真的好鼓舞!


你説:常常内在有不同的聲音,天生性格的自己 ( 無畏無懼,勇往直前,衝出香港,衝出這個充滿悲情和壓抑的環境),經歷過創傷的自己 ( 有shame,深深的内疚和恐懼...擔心的自己),長期渴望的自己 ( 想improve自己的環境,買車,Alaska, diving...),也有勇於學習新事物,大膽追求財富和finance independent 的自己...。有時,自己都不知道怎樣做,才可以活出自己,有沒有内疚。

That's human, that's everyone as me. No one is saint 聖人。 We are just to learn to be complete and better self.





大家都想爲這個家,為自己的夢想,你的夢想非常有價值和意義,all u need is to get it across to him

差異 Differences:

先生的恐懼源於他的價值觀和對新事物投資缺乏認知:你的手法不是他的那杯茶,價值觀不同,(沒有對錯, 如果他堅持你是錯的,不會這樣包容你),at least, but he did not force you to stop , instead, his insecurity and fear is going away. 

He just need 安全感,safety, bigger comfort zoon for  conservative people as my husband - a machinic engineer, Ocean ship surveyor. All he need is safety. Safety is life and death issues in his point of views, and his view was so strong that affect everything in daily life, though I know he has been traumatized  too much year by year from his past experiences and he is still living in the past. I have to know his history so that I can live myself at ease and respect his attitude without victimized feelings. ( 課題分離,每個人的人生都不同,每個人都有創傷,新的,舊的,每天都可以有,只是我們如何去處理,如何不積纍創傷,就不會投射給別人)

You prove to our hubby that you can give him safety and security gradually. So  his imaginary fear does not make sense, you can do it as you want at a safe way. Keep going! 

Then again you need to communicate with him , make him at ease. He is happy to see you have more money than him maybe. 

對於各自都有男女partners :

騎單車的女士那件事,需要進一步妥善處理,也許,他突然停止和對方踩單車,沒有和對方好好解釋,對這位女士和你先生都是一個刺,看看找一個機會,用soft way ,處理好它,看到先生是一個很有交代的人。對好重視朋友。你可以尊重他這一點,就像他尊重你和Korean man一起做trading一樣, 你們的關係就會有深化和升華。


對於溝通上的提升,我可以和你做ROLE PLAY練習。先在潛意識上有自信,有行動,意識就會有勇氣, 行動就會發生。








同時,你已經覺察到看到自己隨著年紀增大,有退縮,有萎縮的狀態,因爲toxic guilt,shame,内在創傷,導致焦慮和恐懼,還在影響你的思維和信念, 你不能活出渴望的自己。這是漫長的路,你已經開始,而且進步好大!

Change our thinking system, change our inner program, reset our brain structure:

Then we sat in our anxiety, studied its beauty and real danger in over use of it, how to Reprogram the Anxious Brain  

1 ) Anxiety mechanism ( application of emotion mechanism) 


It reminds you of something is important . It will help to avoid potential danger , (Health, life and death, finance, career …)

It urges us to take action 


It is not comfortable but normal and acceptable to keep us in a normal life

4 disordered anxiety disfunctions us and prevents you from enjoying your life at all, 

2) Anxiety cycle

The harder  you want to get away,  the stronger it grows  


Anxiety enhances anxiety , avoidance grows anxiety

Our audacity becomes constrained, shrieked, smaller and narrow, 

Our comfort zone becomes small, become less confident in ourselves and project our insecurity to others – not trust others in the same way.

Your guilt and shame, infirmity , inability  is the main causes to make your anxious and you may project anxiety to others and yourself. Now you know yourself much better,  having know that is all imaginary, your limited believes ! 

You are good enough than many people in the world, not just because you living standard ( you and your husband's effort) but your own  potential and learning ability..., your kind heart and loving intentions... those are your backbone to our life, meaning of life...

You are your best life teacher, self teaching is crucial to build confidence: you have so many wonderful experiences to overcome hardships...

Change the perception by experiences, changes the neuropath and reset your inner program 

So every time you  get more comfortable when overcome anxiety and find the situations are actually not dangerous as expect, gradually you rewire  your neuro structure and thinking pattern of your brain , your reset your Inner program, reduce your cortisol, insulin or fight and flight hormones when the situations are back again.

A word says so well in my  NLP courses:

A problem defined is problem half solved.

Exercise 1

Define anxiety and causes 

Find ways to prevent:


Define issues:
Fears of direct discussion and communication with my Dan on issue 1 ( 2, 3, 4) :
What happen if I ...
What is the most fearful scenario I cannot face it or I am afraid of? 
Why do I fear ? Causes?

What is the ways to prevent it from happening and why I need to do ?

What is the cost if I don't do? 

Most anxiety disorders root from trauma, innate character/personality or genetic reasons ( ADD/Autism/Bi-polar...) 

We have to use healing and be aware the truth of anxiety and anxiety disorder.

Exercise 2

Acceptance produces change and action

Action steps


write down the hierarchy of danger you expect 

 you say to yourself it is OK to be anxious. I will do it even it makes me anxious


try bit by bit to encounter the “danger “


do it continuously until your anxiety reduces gradually and finally vanishes

Live with fears and you realize it is not such danger at all

和焦慮做朋友,和恐懼大和解, 化恐懼為動力,因爲常常最恐懼的, 就是我們最需要學習的,恐懼背後,噩夢背後,提醒自己需要做出一些重要的改變。令自己成爲更好的自己

Be friends with anxiety, reconcile with fear, and turn fear into motivation, because often the most fearful thing is what we most need to learn, behind the fear, behind the nightmare, reminding ourselves that we need to make some important changes. make yourself a better you



Reprogram the Anxious Brain
今天,我和個案探索焦慮症。聆聽焦慮背後的聲音,改寫信念,改寫思維模式...通過分享生命故事和聆聽情緒背後的聲音,分析焦慮背後的原因, 發現:
焦慮和恐懼,也有好多正面的意義, 善用情緒,情緒成爲生命GPS。
Defined problem is problem half solved!
Accept the anxious state is the first step, to live with it and to make a change to breakthrough.

May be an image of 1 person, sky and text

4 5 2022

Thursday, April 21, 2022

Summary on 4th section - How to resolve intimate relationship issues

22 4 2022 

Compassion Therapy with Communication Skill



整個2小時,你真的好接納自己的不完美和各種情緒 - 内疚,焦慮,憤怒,和自卑,沒有安全感的狀態,這是你有情緒的時候的自己,不是你的全部,你彰顯出勇敢面對自己的脆弱,分享自己的darkside,從中讓我和你自己都看到很多美麗和愛。


When we have a broken heart, our cracks let light in to our heart。

Let  our Godden Shadow lightens up our Dark shadow.


1 深深愛著對方,這個愛出於大家超過35年的瞭解,關懷和愛。處於大家的包容和理解,出於對家庭的愛,孩子的愛,才能不離不棄,經歷無數的風風雨雨,大大小小的的衝突,珍惜,再珍惜。

2 你可以回家照顧孩子,放棄自己的事業,令他有安全感,在工作上盡情發揮,你已經做的很好,三個孩子已經成人,真的不容易,因爲你的traumatic childhood,你必須overcome好多内心的矛盾和情緒,尋求心理輔導,你沒有停止學習,提升。你先生也看到你確實在進步、完善自己,所以他在背後默默長期支持你,我看到你們都有好大的動力,去維持這段關係。

3 你做 trading,也是爲了這個家,爲了先生可以早退休...,, 爲了自己可以鬆動些,爲了孩子的將來,也爲你有多些自由,不想用先生的錢。


4 先生不喜歡你和男士學習做trading,這就無疑表態:他是如此緊張你,愛你,怕失去你。

你不喜歡他和女士去cycling,這也表明你是多麽愛他,而你的方式有些過火,説出對他hurt的話 - 分手等,其實,背後都是太愛對方!但愛不等於一切,愛變成傷害,這種帶有毒性的愛,很不值得的,但可以糾正的。用你的行動!

5 教會的熏陶,令你們都有不少共同的價值觀和以家庭爲重的理念




你是完美型,目標性高的人,一方面夠膽嘗試,另一方面,因爲自己還是容易緊張,擔心和焦慮,( 還沒有做到心甘情願,得之不喜,失之不憂,意識上知道,潛意識上還需要大力去建立這樣的人生態度)這是你繼續要衝破的關口,也是令先生擔心的問題,他擔心你的身體不能承受如此大的壓力,給家庭帶來情緒不穩定狀態,也是他自己沒有安全感的投射。他也需要安全感和愛,可能比你還大!只是不懂表達,用了其他方法,令你未必明白和接納,現在,你會慢慢明白他多一些了。









你看到自己以前不懂如何愛自己,投射很多自己沒有美好的童年的失落感,愛的匱乏感,甚至有憤怒和自卑感,内疚感...那是以前的自己,今天,你已經改變了,但允許自己還會有情緒,允許自己不完美,於是,你會平靜、客觀的看待自己,看待別人也會有焦慮 ...也需要安全感...

你由心看到自己的勇敢面對,接納自己,爲自己的生命負責任的態度,這是你的最美麗的特質,讓我看到一個更有能量去改寫生命,和先生team up, 共同走下去的Christine


[17:54, 4/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: As nice as my husband he doesn't share his heart with me. If I ask he will disclose some but he keeps to himself. Is it because he doesn't trust me or is it just who he is

My feedback:

you know his character, 脾性

is this his habitual behavior or just sometimes he has such situations.?

For men as far as I know,  many may not like to share their career , jobs difficulties and they like to keep to themselves. 

They don't want you to worry or to let them in tense. They need to learn how to reduce pressure.

I think he has his way to relax, but need more at home,  to learn how to communicate.  That is his work 功課。

All we can do is to change ourselves so that they will be inspired. 

Or they also need to fnd therapists or mental health services in case they need.

[17:55, 4/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: He doesn't try to understand why I did what I did. That is what I needed. I have unmet needs and they come out asking to be met in unhealthy ways

[17:56, 4/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Like I want to have money so I can get support. He looks at it like 我發錢寒

[17:57, 4/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I feel lack so much and he is frugal. He reacted to my wanting to spend money to get help as  亂駛錢

[18:07, 4/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: He has never said oh you are working so hard and making so much progress. It is always some anxiety of something I need to work on more. I know he is not mean spirited but it adds to my 自卑感

[20:38, 4/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I know I can't change anyone but myself but it is a nagging thought that I am not good enough for him

[21:07, 4/22/2022] Donna Wong: yes, you have said so for all in the section.  The keys are how to let him understand you better.  

Please recall our discussion content and ponder about.  

You can, yes, you can focus more on his positive intentions and yours as well,  probably delivering your messages...

Please try or maybe later when u are less upset

[21:25, 4/22/2022] Donna Wong: my son has huge pressure as many young people in HK, seriously depressed generation. He doesn't like to directly share his issues but shares lots about media against power authority. Then I can understand him indirectly. 

So you can know Dan as the same way as Ben. It's up to them to share or not. You can be ready to their listener.

[24:01, 4/23/2022] Donna Wong: during today section, you could feel that whenever emotion comes, there is a inner voice in your mind: I am not good enough. A kind of shame and guilt is there. We can do more next time. It is definitely long term work but you can make it if you want. And you can!

[24:02, 4/23/2022] Donna Wong: Here is a story i watched yesterday, i was tearful

[24:05, 4/23/2022] Donna Wong: 360秒人生課堂 - 戴耀明, 做自己的人生主角

self esteem building 









Me , the same.


[13:50, 4/23/2022] Donna Wong: Added to the summary   昨天的section,你講到先生讓你掌管財務大權,這是我看到個案中不多的,表示她對你的信任度好大,你們之間的愛,好深厚,但也有好多價值觀的分歧,這是不可避免,需要compromise和溝通。這也是爲什麽你那麽重視溝通的學習。爲自己健康,也爲家庭和孩子。

[13:56, 4/23/2022] Donna Wong: 沒有永遠的夫妻,只有一起成長的伴侶。婚姻就是修行,享受對方的好,也要接納對方缺陷。無條件的愛這個課題,我們上上次我們深入討論過,中心内容,就是做自己的内在理想的父母,和孩子一起成長,Dan内在也有小孩子,有自己的脾氣和不完美。你的成長,對他影響深遠。

[11:00, 4/23/2022] Donna Wong: 我想起這句話:

The change that occur when you sit inside your pain - it's a reflationary. 

What happens over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently.

[11:02, 4/23/2022] Donna Wong: We are all the same, to be complete , the perfect journey is on the way to be be perfect

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Section 3 Summary Compassion with our kids, with our inner kid

 Section 3 擁抱情緒,改寫信念,轉化生命

Dear Christine

1 Gratitude

1) Today I was so amazed to see you sitting on table with a pen and some papers, your spirit and preparation and your being was very impressive. 

You reminded me of the time yesterday as I requested. You  Showed me you can!

I found you have learnt a lesson from last blundering of sleep away, missing the class and keeping me waiting for long time. 

This is wonderful. You put the healing in rather important position. It matters. 

This is one grateful thing I must say.  

2) Compassion building process   inner child therapy and Zero Limit 

Another process as I did every time, Gratitude for anything touching your heart in the period of last 13 days.

You said: You become more aware to listen to Ben's voice, not on the surface but inside of his heart. You don't feel immediately upset and not fight back even at his unpleasant tonality or words but shows your compassion to open a channel for communication. 有什麽心事嗎?可以和我分享嗎?

You put your ego aside, put your anxiety, worry, frustration on the back of your head ( eg. worrying for his behavior will affect his future...) , but put his concern, his real messages behind his emotion at your  heart, as more important things.

That is called connection with compassion, so that we can create constructive communication process, our love can be felt or delivered truly and many disastrous confrontation can be avoided. Many new traumas can be avoided. We don't want to give others more traumas , we want inner peace and our peace can influence our people around us.

I often deeply feel that:

I found you are building more solid positive believes:

1 Every one has his own value system, belief and thinking models. We need to respect and to understand each other instead of insisting on our own rightness. There is no absolutely right or wrong. 

2 Everyone is different. We cannot use our judgement to determine others' value, worth. And in return others will not able or have right to judge our value or worth. Then we will have a boundary to keep ourselves at ease and peace, away from frustration and inferiors. We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves. 

There are 2 Quotes as my motors in facing difference:

Then my self healing practice help me to build this belief in resolving conflict and confrontation:

Today I saw your being, your subconscious mind has gradually built up your own compassion philosophy. I am soo happy for you.

  You open heart for exchange ideas and more aspect of facts and life experiences , world views ... 

This is not easy, you are on the way, me too.  Good Rapport start from listening, no hurry to deliver our messages if other  are not ready or we are not finding a better way. 

3 How to deal with anger, anxiety, worry and frustration when things are not going on our ways


son's temper, words, behaviors,

The Korean trade time different with your desired time...anxiety in loss in Cryptocurrency Trading

kids are growing up without marriage yet...

Worry of HK unstable society to affect families in HK

Anxiety of Covid 19 pandemic 

Worry of Biden's government policy ... ruining the USA 

How to find inner peace in the unrest world, turmoil global, even something out my control, expectation:

I listened to your stories:

Some years ago, you could be at peace, happy and so passionate to help old people. Why? because you were been seen, be recognised and be empowered by the energy of helping and caring, by yourself. You found your value. This is you. Your energy is till there, just need to excel instead of to be buried by your emotions in those situations.

You mentioned your mom how to see money and that sense of insecurity is still there. Similar. 

Behind your money view, you want make money to have freedom, to do what you what and to help family and people in need. So you are in fear of loss them... You see, u have good intention but also have childhood trauma trapping you to make your mind proportional worry - anxiety if things are not always on your desire or in alignment with your value system.

This rooted cause projects in your daily emotion, habitual emotions and make your loss of balance even when u make profit actually, even when your boy studies well and you have a beloved family, good life companion - Mr Methew.

I asked you to connect with your all emotions in your mind. touch them. and say to them:

As I was to play as your childhood  JINJIN, I found she wanted to hear you love her from your heart. 

You initially could not truly do it with a thought that she is my emotion, she is not good enough and not...

Then I said: JinJin wanted to hear you love who she is, not a perfect one you desired. 

Your heart was opened up. You said I love who I am, I love a truly, vivid , grounded self, 當下的我,實實在在的我,真實的我

She is tough, never give up at facing difficulty and compassionate at facing childhood trauma.

she is simple, plain, honest, guileless, sincere樸素、誠實、樸實、真誠...

She has emotions , she has anxiety and worry... 

All are yourself, you feel calm when you accept yourself. 

Your inner child feels to be truly embraced and accepted at that time. You feel calm when your beauty and vulnerability in oneness.

Your progress let me think about this talk I sent to you:

You can listen it again to do as self affirmation process as homework:

Vulnerability is not about winning, it's not about losing, but it is about having courage to show up and be seen

What is vulnerability feelings about?   vulnerability is certainly a part of fear and self doubt and grief of loss and uncertainty and shame... Vulnerability is also the birthplace of love, joy , trust , a belong , empathy, creativity and innovation. Without vulnerability, we cannot create. 

Today you did more on turning vulnerability to calmness, self love and self care. happiness.


You become more accept yourself,  a big step to heal your traumatic emotions and to say good bye to them and turn them into life transformation.

3 Habit analysis on Eating, nutrition for ADD 

When ADD was found in later life, mostly probable reasons are some traumatic damage to the brain by accumulating emotions and events, internalized them.  esp. from childhood, that makes genetic changes in brain. 

Nutrition is key to resolve and control emotion for ADD in addition to mental health healing

Please listen to this again if u have not yet:

I have done a certain of cases with depression,  anxiety, ADD and bipolar symptoms...autism  dementia, complex in emotions and diseases like debetis, hypertension...most cases are not just one but mixed issues. And they are getting more common in my work. 

I have realized only mental therapies and medication 💊  is less effective and not last longer. Brain and body need micro nutrients to reduce symptoms and recover the damaged cells, to change their negative state easier and sleep better,  to lose weight and improve immunity from body to soul.

This speech is very encouraging. 

In your case, lots to do step by step.

When you change in your body , so does in your mind. And vise versa. Mental health is the key factors but diet, nutrition therapy,  exercise and sleep all enhance your health quality and life quality. 

And also impacts on Ben.

During the process,  old mindset and habit need to put aside, to accept new ideas,  which is crucial for becoming better self.

When analised you eating habit, I gave your following suggestions:

1 eat less processed food 

2 eat less sweet fruit

3 eat more vegetables and good fat, organic fat better

4 arrange your activities in a relaxing and within physical ability and mental ability. DON"T BURN OUT. 

ADD need lots of compassion and understanding of themselves, their issues and causes from body side, medical side and metal side. 

You are on the way...

I heard your inner voice say to your inner child - 

I love you by learning to see an imperfect you perfectly, to accept who you are and to learn to be perfect. I am learning to be your great inner parent and growing up with you hand in hand. 

This is also my inner voice to myself


[20:09, 4/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I really feel I am more in touch with the inner child after our session

[21:41, 4/13/2022] Donna Wong: I can feel it,  the topic example was you said you love the authentic self, who you are even she has anxiety or fear, but she also have strength  toughness,  never giving up spirit.  You have vulnerability as well as courage, like everyone and me as well.

[21:45, 4/13/2022] Donna Wong: As my English is very poor, I may not exactly express myself well and I may not accurately describe what u said.or thought at the section. 

I think you got it.

You just point out my mistakes or correct them freely.

[22:02, 4/13/2022] Donna Wong: Dr Berg vedios become my nutrition knowledge 📚

[22:03, 4/13/2022] Donna Wong: I listen to his newest ones and also older ones as my nutrution dictionary

[22:04, 4/13/2022] Donna Wong: you need probiotecs more than normal ones. Actually they help in many ways as important as vitamins

[22:11, 4/13/2022] Donna Wong: And gradually u will be accept yourself as human, who has ups and downs and it's OK  to be not OK. Then we can me more OK than not OK. Me too

[09:55, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: pay attention to nutrition   eating habits v.s. emotion state 覺知多些這方面

[09:55, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: 極大幫助

[09:55, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: only mental help is not enough

[09:55, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: this is your routine I very concern

[09:56, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: about

[09:57, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: sleep quality

[09:57, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: as well

[09:58, 4/14/2022] Donna Wong: can you check the schedule and let me know your 4th section time at your convenience

Everyone's need is different. The key is we need to see how much we  need by observe health change, and see if you are enough or not, usually they are not enough in taking the supplements according to many case studies for ADD, Autism and mental health problem. U are much better than many. Just my my idea for ur ref. for ur ref. my learning notes and experiences on HAND ENERGY HEALING COURSE

昨天的section,我們兩個合作的很好,把各種情緒帶給身體的感覺連在一起,( 加上過去的情緒創傷 - 内在小孩和身體連結),通過手療和零極限,傳達發至内心的愛和慈悲。感受到脆弱背後好多力量,一些情緒創傷得以修復。以後的sections, 我們也會繼續發揮這個方法的效力。 你學過手療,你可以發揮在自己身上了。真好。

[24:05, 4/15/2022] Donna Wong: More on Nutrition for your reference: Nutritional Intervention For ADD

One of the most overlooked factors in managing the symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is that of dietary intervention.   The ‘food piece’ can play a significant role in the manifestation of symptoms for this commonly diagnosed disorder in both children and adults.   Addressing the foods in the diet that may be contributing to symptoms can be very beneficial in managing inattention.   Knowing which foods to minimize and which foods to include in the diet can be very helpful for those who suffer from ADD.   Here are some key dietary practices to consider for optimizing attention:

[24:05, 4/15/2022] Donna Wong: Eliminate artificial colors and flavors

Eliminate preservatives

Include healthy fats

Watch refined sugar intake

Eat more whole foods

Additional Considerations

 Daily exercise 

 Commonly used supplements include B vitamins, zinc, fish oil, digestive enzymes, probiotics, amino acids and various herbs.

[24:07, 4/15/2022] Donna Wong: In my cases for  ADD and Autistic cases and weight management , I found : 如何改變飲食習慣,真是不簡單, 很多時候而且需要一定的心理治療作爲輔助。很多習慣,都和心理障礙有關,和童年習慣和心理創傷有關。