Monday, October 25, 2010

Letter to Son after his first mid-term

25-10-2010
Gen,

I think the most important thing to you now is how to use leverage to help you study life progressively.

Firstly, to find any flaws and success in the first two months;

Secondly, to use all resources to leverage your improvement and manage your life better;

Third, to be open-minded to learn from people around you and to help them whenever you can. Remember, respect, friendship and love is earned not demanded. Expanding positive associations is one of the most essential learning in life.

Keeping reading novels and human stories is the quickest way to expand awareness; from which you find human strength, wisdom and resilience and also mistakes, lessons and blind spots; from which you instill in yourself a positive thinking, objective system to face in any circumstances.

Take care,

Mon

p.s.

Keep some witty quotes in mind and think about why -
1
" Happiness keeps u healthy , Generosity keeps u fulfilling, Trials keep u Strong, Sorrow keeps u Human, Failure Keeps u Humble, Success keeps u Glowing, Positive-thinking keeps u going. "
2
道德常常能彌補智慧的缺陷,然而, 智慧卻永遠填補不了道德的空白。*
3
只要找到自己的天命,並能夠充份地發揮天賦,你在當下一刻便已經能夠去做你應該做的事情,不需要等待明天的來臨。

肯‧羅賓森(Ken Robinson)博士告訴我們以下四個關鍵問題,決定你是否活出自己:

· 天資 --- 甚麼是你真正的力量所在?

· 熱情 --- 那件事讓你永遠充滿活力?

· 態度 --- 你讓際遇左右生命,還是用態度創造運氣?

· 機會 --- 如何為你的熱情找到實踐的管道?

4
Silicon Valley’s successful experience: The success is not because they know how to succeed but how to fail. How to rise after fail.

Our great glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.
5

" When your body changes, so does your mind."

I find that emotion and physical conditions go hand-in-hand. Negative emotion creeps back if our body is not in good shape.

生命在于运动

6
Jim Rohn's quotes on emotion management:

Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, how to respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you.

Civilization is the intelligent management of human emotions.

Measure your emotions. You don’t need an atomic explosion for a minor point.

害怕失敗就是最大的失敗

害怕失敗就是最大的失敗


心理學上有一種「瓦倫達心態」。這個理論來源於一個真實的故事。

瓦倫達是美國著名的高空鋼索表演者,在一次重大的表演中不幸失足身亡。

他的妻子事後說:「我知道這一次一定要出事,因為他上場前總是不停地說:『這次太重要了,不能失敗,絕不能失敗。』而以往他卻不是這樣。每次表演之前,他只想著走鋼索,並專心為此做準備,根本不去管其它的事情,更不會為成功或失敗而擔心。 」

後來,人們就把專心致志於做某事,而不去管這件事的意義和結果,不患得患失的心態,叫做「瓦倫達心態」。

美國斯坦福大學的一項研究也表明,人大腦裡的某一圖像會像實際情況那樣刺激人的神經系統。

比如,當一個高爾夫球手擊球前一再告訴自己不要把球打進水裡時,他的大腦裡往往就會出現球掉進水裡的情景。這一情景會指揮他的行動,結果事情不是向他希望的那樣發展,而是向他害怕的方向發展。這時候,球大多都會掉進水裡。這項研究從另一個方面證實了「瓦倫達心態」。

當你已經開始做一件事的時候,就不要再考慮與做這件事無關的問題,不要讓功利心和由此引出的擔憂干擾你的行動。專心去做那件事的時候,就不會再考慮成功或者失敗。沒有了成敗的憂慮,人就自然變得輕鬆自如。

害怕失敗就是最大的失敗。

Friday, October 15, 2010

Learnings from routine workouts

Date: 15-10-2010

Today is the last day our swimming pool opens this year.

It was also a special day for me - I have been wanting to swim the first day of its opening and the last day as well. I did it as promised to myself. What is more significant - I swam the most frequently in my life this summer. I've started to love swimming; desired to learn more styles and to improve my technique by taking courses.

Global warming has extended the summer, delayed the autumn and shortened the winter but I take advantage of this by immersing myself more in water, to cool off and fill a wonderful recreational need for my body.

Usually I would rush to the pool just half an hour before it closed. Today I set it as a special day in my calendar - I wanted to make it different: after jogging, skipping and dancing as a warm-up in the autumn breeze and tender sunshine this morning, I jumped into the water to find it a bit chillier. The feeling was awesome: Soothing from my heart to body, cooling from my toes to head...

"No life without a routine workout" - a concept I have had instilled in me from an early age. Since then I have benefited from sports and workouts so much of my life. The most phenomenal effect was a year-long morning jog removed 12 pounds of fat frm my clumsy body and this has turned me forever from a neighbor’s fat girl to a slim lady, a fundamental change in my life not only physically but psychologically. Anthony Robbins is right: " When your body changes, so does your mind."

In our life, no matter when we sit, stand or move or sleep, our bones are constantly under the effect of gravity, which is not a balanced condition for our spine and back bones especially. I like the feeling of floating and sliding in water because it works practically all of the muscles without adding loading on the bones, a time for them to relax. Swimming develops our general strength, cardiovascular health and lung fitness and endurance without putting stress and weight on a knee or ankle. Another benefit is more direct: it leaves me refreshed for the rest of my day.

Like jogging, it is the best time for me to do meditation consciously and unconsciously. While I keep the rhythm of my stroke and my breathing, my mind is wandering about, far away from childhood to anywhere and anytime, like a horse cantering in a meadow. Simultaneously my mind is falling into dreams and ideas for a topic I want to write about are flowing freely from my brain.

Jogging and swimming all help me to develop a lifestyle of self-discipline, resilience and preservation.

Most interestingly, this form of meditation gives me a sense of self-worth and positive strength inside my body. I find the relationship between emotion and physical conditions go hand-in-hand. Negative emotion creeps back if our body is not in good shape.

Swimming, jogging, skipping, hiking, dancing, yoga and sword-dance (and more sports to learn) will add more colors to my life.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Light-hearted but felt-hearted

Blogs are like a diary and journal. It records a person's development in terms of mindset, spirit and emotion changes; Reading them is somehow like reading other's stories but reminds myself who I was and am and what I have been exploring and how to improve ...
7.12.07

The bilingual stories in Chinese Reader’s Digest are usually my favourite part of the whole book. Despite being only two or three pages in length, every story has something in common: touching and introspective, giving food for thought.

Take Hidden Blessing as an example (December, 2007). Rosemarie Wolmarans, a nursery headmistress, depicts her contemplation behind her decision to accept a handicapped child, who had been rejected by many nursery schools because of his Perthe’s disease, in which his soft joints easily dislocated.

In his treatment, Christos had been wearing plaster casts with rigid a bar for a long period. His movement was restricted and he had to walk with a stiff gait like a robot.


When the headmistress first encountered the disease, she found a big boy sitting on a pushcart wearing splints pushed into her office. But he was going to start primary school the following year. His English was poor and he desperately needed to prepare for his formal education. His mother’s eyes were brimming with tears as this school was his last hope. Rosemarie pondered if the boy would be manageable in this school or, if the boy would cope with the difficulties of fitting in with a normal life with other children – especially when facing teasing. Or easily getting injured with broken legs…”Christos bright brown eyes gazed appealingly at her, silently urging her to ignore his trapped legs and help free his mind.” “If we turned him away as so many others had, what would become of him?”


Rapidly, Rosemarie came to a decision: Christos was given a two-week trial. What a big relief to the mother and the boy!


And the trial turned out to be a magic which changed the boy’s life.

Christos was an ingenious boy with a much more skilful body than expected - he managed to pull himself up the slide and adroitly sailed down to the end; he was excellent in singing and musical games - his clear Italian voice rose above the others; Rosemarie’s worries disappeared quickly when she found Christos was getting popular – the kids liked him and even vied with each other to help him on the swings and with his cart. At the end of the year, Christos had become fluent in English and one of the best in singing.

Soon after the nursery school life, all plasters were removed from Christos’ legs. He had been fully recovered. Unequivocally, Rosemarie was the first person to thank for this. While feeling so pleased when Christos and his mother visited her immediately after being discharged from hospital, Rosemarie was a bit ashamed of herself esp. for her initial reaction to Christos. She said Christos gave her and her school much more than what they had done for him.

'He taught other children compassion, kindness, patience and love. He showed us how to persevere, how to be brave, happy and how to overcome adversity by a cheerful disposition and a positive attitude.’

Another message I got from this real story is that if we treat people with diseases and disability as you and me, their lives will be completely different. Thinking that there are still so many ‘Christos’ who have been deprived of education because of discrimination and poverty, I can’t help feeling sad but thankful to see Christos’ luck and the much more fruitful, healthy life a school brought to him.

It reminds me of the famous quote of Princess Diana: “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or TB but the feeling of being unwanted”

Another remarkable story that I like so much is ‘Think Small’ (November, 2007), written by a 14-year-old girl.


Patricia at age 9 was a surprisingly blessed girl, understanding, brimful of acting talent. Whenever her father came home from work at night, feeling completely exhausted, she was a bit uneasy. She didn’t like to see her father sitting silently, or being grumpy. Then, she would blab away amusingly in her own language or even follow her father, performing the funny acts she made up herself. She also entertained her father by acting as cartoon characters from Disney movies, making her father cry tears of mirth. At first, she was a bit scared that her father would scold her for her ‘irritation’ and ask her to leave. But her father’s smile relieved her tension, “Whenever you make Mama, Brother and me laugh, you make us feel a lot better and less tire,” he smiled down at her.


She was astonished by her father’s praise and still holds them in her heart.


While many people think BIG and try to make things different, she is thinking of small tricks to change the mood of her family, meanwhile making herself more comfortable. Incredibly, she changed the way they looked at things, changed the way they thought of life.

She realised that her small acts – making people laugh can help release stress and pressure. More magical things can happen if we have a pleasant working environment and pleasant families. People would love their families more and care more about others.


She reminds us that the most important thing we need to have is Family Love and a pleasurable life when coming back from a wearing working day.


Patricia is perfectly right – to make a difference, we don’t need to think BIG all the time. ‘Just drop our ugly frown, put on our best smile, go out into the cold, dark world and spread some light, warmth and love to those who need it.’

Perhaps, just a smiling greeting like ‘hello’ or ‘morning’, tiny help, or starting small talk with your neighbours you’ve never talked to would please and even comfort them unexpectedly. Sadly, this is not commonplace to many of us living in the metropolis, in the densely populated high-rise buildings.

Quotes that give me inspiration and revelation

Quotes that give me inspiration and revelation




Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.

Maori saying


Optimism is essential to achievement and it is
also the foundation of courage and true progress.

Nicholas Murray Butler


Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
not a second-rate version of anybody else.

Judy Garland


There are children playing in the street who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago.

J. Robert Oppenheimer

Men of genius sometimes accomplish most when they work the least, for they are thinking out inventions and forming in their minds the perfect idea that they subsequently express with their hands.

Giorgio Vasari

The love we give away is the only love we keep.


Elbert Hubbard


Books aren't written to be believed in, but to be questioned.

Umberto Eco


If you go in search of honey, you must expect to encounter bees.


Thomas Szasz

Everything that can be said can be said clearly.

Ludwig Wittgenstein


If you avoid the truth, you pay for your lies.

A lie always does the most harm to the person who tells it.

Karen Moline

A Peaceful Mind

Diary and journals records a person's development in terms of mindset, spirit and emotion changes; Reading them is somehow like reading other's stories but reminds myself who I was and am and what I have been exploring and how to improve ...
Date: 14-12-09


Happiness seems difficult to obtain because never-ending desires drive us to crave more and that hunger eventually leads to more pain, frustration and disappointment.


I understand that happiness is a state of mind – a sense of contentment. You don’t have to be smooth every day or successful in everything you have done to be happy. You don’t need to be rich in material or have a prestige status to be gratified. You can still living a peaceful but content life with ups and downs.

Happiness is always living in your mind if you can keep an inner peace. You will be happy and feel content with whatever you have if you have attained this inner peace.

That doesn’t mean you should not strive for what you want, instead, with inner peace and contentment, you will enjoy a whole process when pursuing your goal no matter how tough you are faced. You will be level-headed towards obstacles and be more resourceful to get it through.


As a result, people with inner peace are not different from ordinary people – they have sorrow, hassles and make mistakes. But their attitude prepares themselves to have enough understanding to keep them strong in the face of adversity. They don’t treat mistakes as a problem but a step to success. They can get up after each falling in their journey of life. They can see things not only from their own but other people’s point of views before making a judgment and decision. They show a kindness toward all living things and a deep appreciation for natural world around them. They consider wealth spiritually, emotionally not just physically.


The most important element to achieve inner peace is to control ourselves – not allow negative thinking to consume and overtake yourself. It is said that if you can control your emotion, you can control the world. Gura Sahaja also said if you control your mind, your mind is your friend; otherwise your mind is your enemy. I cannot agree more though it is easier said than done.


I admire those who can laugh at failures and stay energetic all the time; who can smile through adversity. I think if I can keep an optimistic view to my life ahead even at the most difficult of times, life will be much easier and happier than before.


Inner peace is a value system affecting how you see yourself, happenings around you and the world and thus your emotion and behavior. Happiness, in fact, is not far away from you – it is just around you if you are grateful to what you have and be positive, content all the time.

A Brand-new James Bond

Blogs are like a diary and journal. It records a person's development in terms of mindset, spirit and emotion changes; Reading them is somehow like reading other's stories but reminds myself who I was and am and what I have been exploring and how to improve ...
26.12.06

Daniel Craig is neither as charming as Roger Moore, nor as sharp as Pierce Brosnan. Likewise; he is not as muscular as Sean Connery and doesn't have as robust, a towering body as all the previous 007s. However, despite my feminine prejudice or preconception, I couldn’t resist going to the cinema to watch the latest James Bond film – Casino Royale, acclaimed as one of the best action films of 2006.

Daniel Craig surprisingly stunning performance proves I was wrong. Instead, he has done a fantastic job. Thanks to his stony face and hit-man image plus the intriguing plot, the conventional spy movie has been revived. We are shown a very different portrayal James Bond as compared with the traditional gorgeous-looking , sweet, upright heroes.

Unlike the previous bond films, the new James Bond gives me a sense of being more humane and real - he is no longer invisible hero or disciplined government spy, but a rather vulnerable, stubborn, playful individual. He makes mistakes, he is tortured to hell and he is even poisoned to near death by his enemies. In spite of his cold killer’s character, the new Bond does have a lovely, heartfelt side when he genuinely falls in love with the bond girl Vesper Lynd, the most beautiful lady among all Bond's series I've ever seen.


Another feature that distinguishes the new James Bond is that there are no any high-tech weapons in the film. Instead, the action part in the film is mainly based on Daniel and other actors’ spectacular stunt skills and his display of martial arts (rather like the stunt master Jackie Chan’s films), which makes the new Bond more endearing, gritty and unusual.


During the two and half hours of breathless fighting, chasing and gambling scenes, the audience experiences a startlingly dark, violent and death-life journey filled with killing suspense and revolting dirty tricks. The contemporary themes featuring the anti-terrorism issue and cutting- edge communication gadgets like mobile phones, lap tops and GPS add a more realistic dimension to the new James Bond.


Casino Royale is serious entertainment and an intelligent thriller. It is a breakthrough in James Bond franchises, introducing a new era of James Bond in the 21 century.

Could We Escape Climate Change?

Blogs are like a diary and journal. It records a person's development in terms of mindset, spirit and emotion changes; Reading them is somehow like reading other's stories but reminds myself who I was and am and what I have been exploring and how to improve ...
1.11.06


San Francisco used to impress me with its beautiful, moderate climate, especially its comfy summer – while being braced with the chill breeze drifting from the icily cold Pacific Ocean, one could relax and sunbathe in the pampering, warm sun. To recapture this pleasure, this summer, I escaped the filthy, humid air and unbearably burning heat of Hong Kong, heading for SFC for a short stay in the Bay Area with my siblings.

Completely unexpected, my summer dream turned out to be a sweltering experience that I haven’t had for a long time – This stay coincided with the highest temperatures on record after 1895 in California – most people were living in 32oC to 34oC for 3 consecutive weeks without air-conditioners! And so was I! Unfortunately, more than one hundred old and poor people died of heat stroke. I was awaked by this experience that global warming is not only impending threat but it kills!

Nevertheless, SFC and the Bay Area’ sparklingly clear sky and admirably fresh air had made up for my ‘unperfected’ dream, still giving me a sense of blessed relief.

After 5 weeks, I went home to face the reality.

Approaching over HK islands, I was saddened. Looking out of the window of the plane, I couldn’t see through to its tropical landscapes and unique panorama. Everything was shrouded in tainted, dark, unhealthy smog from the two power plants, traffic to heavily pollutants from the smokestacks in the Mainland. Stepping out of the airport, I started to have a splitting headache and to sneeze all the time. I was a bit blue... It really took me some time to get through the migraines caused by the nasty green-house gases.

According to Hong Kong Environmental Protection Department, the air pollution index has perched at high levels for most of this year. Its average air pollution indexes have doubled or even tripled the World Health Organization limit. Hong Kong’s worsening air pollution has been directly threatening our quality of life. It is estimated that the air mixed with an excess of sulfur dioxide, nitrogen dioxide, ozone and respirable suspended particulates contributes to an extra 2,000 deaths a year. No wander 95% of executives interviewed by the local Chamber of Commerce recently are very worried about air quality and its effects on their health. A businessman explained to The Wall Street Journal about his family’s recent retreat to Australia: “You can drink bottled water. But with the air — you have to breathe it.”

Clearly, air pollution not only endangers our health, but threatens Hong Kong’s preeminent position as an international financial hub and the financial services capital of Asia. It is high time HK government committed to genuine reductions in air pollutants.


However, I was disheartened to find that Hong Kong’s chief executive, Donald Tsang has not shown his determination in cleaning the air in his last political address by giving a practical plan…


What can we do? Could we still evade the problems of air pollution and global warming? For how long will we have to tolerate the filthy smog?

The beauty of Winter

Blogs are like a diary and journal. It records a person's development in terms of mindset, spirit and emotion changes; Reading them is somehow like reading other's stories but reminds myself who I was and am and what I have been exploring and how to improve ...

14.12.06

Only when the temperatures dropped abruptly and the chilly gusts roared last week, did I realize that winter has finally come to South China and HK.

Only when the winter has finally come to HK, did I find how overwhelmed HK ladies are - they finally have got a chance to show off their fur fashions, trendy coats, fancy jackets, chic boots ...

Yes, winter means so much pleasure and happiness – a season of vocations, reunion and relaxation. For many people working overseas, it is the only time they can visit their beloved families.

Winter means I need more times of workouts in the sun if I don’t want to be frozen in HK where there is no big temperature difference between inside and outside. So winter also means other tough time for the poor, street sleepers, many elderly who are sick and living alone, inspiring us to show our loving and caring by do something for them.


Only when the hasty smog and filthy air were blown away and a blue sky brightened me up in the cold days did I realized how reviving the air was – we finally could breath the real air for a while that we have lost for the past majority of days the whole year long.

As winter comes later and later and gets warmer and warmer mainly because of global worming effect, as winter is so essential for human and all living things on the planet to survive, we should treasure it and do our bit to save it from disappearance …


Yes, winter means so many things to us- a turning page of looking back and look forward and the time for retrospection, reflection and resolution…

Birthday means ...

Blogs are like a diary and journal. It records a person's development in terms of mindset, spirit and emotion changes; Reading them is somehow like reading other's stories but reminds myself who I was and am and what I have been exploring and how to improve ...


17.12.06

Once I was born, I have been embraced by a number of festivals in winter starting from the Winter Solstice – my birthday. Chinese reckon the Winter Solstice as ceremonious as Chinese New Year. Because of this my birthday is inevitably recalled by my parents and my friends who made fuzz over it sometime. What’s more, a strong sense of wintriness in the thick of winter turns this day into overwhelming warmth and joy that Christmas and New Year will bring to us. The winter Solstice dooms me to do something about it - too big day.

In our parents’ eyes, children are ‘little children’ no matter how old we are, which embarrasses me all these years. Thanks to my parents’ stay with my sister this winter, I will have a birthday day with a piece of mind at last. Except for the credit card companies’ official curtsey, piles of promotional coupons and my insurance agents’ thoughtful regard, or probably my parents and siblings wishes, no body will mention my birthday, even my son and my husband. To keep it as low key as possible, which I have been longing for ages.

I tended to take a dusty view of my birthday ever when I was a teenager. I used to believe I was disadvantaged by birth in one sense - my birthday by law is around the winter solstice but according to Chinese tradition, my age has to be added one more year just after several days of my birthday. “That’s not fair” I said to myself whenever the day came. It seemed that I was pushed to grow up while I was still daydreaming of living as free as a bird, playing hide and seek, fancying receiving lovely Barbie-like dolls every birthday …

Now birthday means I have to get older unbelievably quickly during this day no matter how unprepared I am for it or how unlikely I appear to be. It always takes time for me to digest the fact philosophically when it arrives.

I have come to the middle point of my life but it seems I have never ever to start:

I have so many books not yet read, so many topics not yet written; so many interesting things not yet tried … so many dreams not yet fulfilled. What is insight into birthday? I just realized that life is so unpredictable that I feel compelled to tell myself that if I don’t want to regret more in life - birthday means Do It Now!

Don't take it too seriously

Blogs are like a diary and journal. It records a person's development in terms of mindset, spirit and emotion changes; Reading them is somehow like reading other's stories but reminds myself who I was and am and what I have been seeking and how to improve in the future...

19.11.06

There is no ever-increasing or ever-decreasing thing in the universe. Things are always searching for a stable condition. The global stock markets follow this inalterable law. In fact, to be too optimistic when the stock market is bullish or too pessimistic when it is bearish seem to be all dangerous attitude which may mislead you and eventually to cause a financial suffer in the ever-fluctuating stock market.

As far as I know, many people in Hong Kong during office hours dabble in the stock market, due to the convenient online or telephone services. It has become an 'open secret', just no one mentions it. According to the latest survey by one of the parties in HK, on average, one out of five Hong Kongers has more or less investments in the thriving stock market, meaning, the majority of adults believe this is the best way to make a fortune. They seem to forget that the market will not be rosy all the time. Investing in stock market is the most dynamic, risky business since stock prices fluctuate every day, going up and down according to the economic or political climate. Furthermore, history tells us that the stock market will come to its most vulnerable moment when most companies' prices are increasing abnormally.


As minor shareholders, what they don't want to see is having to bear their ruin as philosophically as they can. What can they do to protect their precious, so limited treasure from evaporating overnight? How can they get a breakeven or get what they invested at the worst conditions? Or how can they employ the fluctuation in prices and make a profit when the market ebbs and flows? According to many victims of stock market, the golden rule to avoid a financial ruin and get reasonable return is "Don't take the market too seriously when it is down and too greedy when it is up." Greed only ruins your life.

Here is some practical advice -

Have a sensible financial planning, it means not throwing all your savings into the stock holding business.

Keep a certain amount back so you are able to take the chance to purchase promising stocks at the low tide.

However, experience has proved that if you are a long term or rather conservative investor, you don't need to bother too much about the fluctuations every day. Find some first-rate companies to invest in and you can rest assured that in the long run, their prices will rise. Nonetheless, you always have to reserve some money for emergencies.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

成功溝通的方程式

• 如何讓對方正面地﹐收到我的善良美好心意﹖


• 如何善用身體語言﹐提昇自己的親和感染力﹖

• 如何讓自己準確地﹐掌握對方的想法和意向﹖

• 如何有效婉拒對方﹐仍然確保對方正面接納﹖

• 如何在溝通過程裡﹐創造你我她最大的共贏﹖

• 如何面對爭論衝突﹐仍然能有效真誠地溝通﹖

• 如何處理惡意投訴﹐能讓對方即時平靜下來﹖
 
人生所有問題﹐都是關係的問題﹐包括與自己﹑他人和世界的關係。關係的核心問題﹐就是如何有效溝通。


許多親密伴侶﹑親子關係﹑工作夥伴﹐大家真誠溝通﹐結果卻一塌糊塗﹑貌合神離﹐最終無奈地分離﹐因為大家都不懂溝通。如果我們掌握到有效溝通的竅門﹐其實許多夫妻﹑伴侶﹑工作和團隊關係﹐都肯定會大幅提昇和改善。


溝通是生命的重要課題。溝通的關鍵﹐不是我講什麼﹐而是對方收到什麼。畢竟﹐世上有沒有另一個我﹐與我一模一樣。每個人都獨一無二﹐都用自己內心的地圖去建構我的世界。懂得有效溝通﹐才是真正的愛﹐否則﹐只是強迫對方用我的方法﹐去滿足我的需要﹔難怪我們的愛﹐往往讓對方抗拒﹑甚至反感。
 
華山博士經過多年研究﹐終於探索出一套成功溝通的方程式﹐適用於親密關係﹑親子關係﹑團隊建立﹐以及工作夥伴。我将参加華山博士的“溝通”工作坊,希望在溝通方面有更大启示和进步。

人生三悟

上山的和下山的

在同一條石板小道上,上山的和下山的擦肩而過。上山的雖汗流浹背,卻興致勃勃,並主動地和下山的打招呼:「山上好玩嗎?」下山的疲憊不堪,連連搖頭:「一座破廟,幾尊菩薩,沒意思。」上山的不以為然:「噢,是嗎?上去看看再說。」說完擦把汗,繼續向上攀登。

過了一段時間,這批上山的人下來了,又碰上興致勃勃向上爬的人問:「山上好玩嗎?」「一座破廟,幾尊菩薩,沒意思。」

但上山的仍不以為然:「噢,是嗎?上去看看再說。」這就是我們的世界;這就是我們的生活。在各種各樣的「山」上,不斷地有人上去,也不斷地有人下來。

快樂是一個過程,而不是一個結果。人生的意義不在於得到了什麼,而在於追求過什麼,征服過什麼。所以,認定的山,就無論如何都要爬上去,不管路有多麼險,也不管別人怎麼說。只要自己奮鬥過、追求過,失敗了又何妨?



車上的和車下的

一個人慢悠悠地走在馬路上,任憑身後的汽車喇叭叫個不停,他卻仍然不慌不忙,一副很不情願讓路的樣子,嘴中還嘟嘟囔囔:「你急什麼?有種就開上來吧!」

後來,這個人坐到了汽車上,又非常討厭那些不及時讓路的步行者和騎車人。甚至動不動就出口不遜:「怎麼?找死啊!」

一個人在站牌下等車的時候,引頸翹首,望眼欲穿,恨不得每一輛過來的公車都在此停下,立即停下。

後來,這個人終於擠到了車上,但他立即就喝令關上車門,並怒目而視那些仍然往上擠的人,盼望這輛汽車立即啟動。

在我們的生活中,總是「車下的」人多,「車上的」人少。 所以,當「車下的」擋路、擠車或者放怨氣、發牢騷的時候,「車上的」一定要忍耐些,寬宏些。想當初,自己不也是這樣心急如焚,憤憤不平麼?



賣包子的和賣被子的

在寒冷的冬天,一個賣包子的和一個賣被子的同到一座破廟中躲避風雪。天晚了,賣包子的很冷,賣被子的很餓。但他們都心想對方會有求於自己,所以誰也不肯先開口。

就這樣,賣包子的只顧自己吃包子,賣被子的只顧自己蓋被子,誰也不願向對方求助,到最後,賣包子的凍死了,賣被子的餓死了。

怕吃虧,不肯主動付出,到頭來大家都受到傷害,甚至賠上了性命!

A radio show interview with Chris Howard

Hi,

Guys, when listening to the radio, you will be refreshed from the Breakthrough To Success and your two NLP courses and more in Chris fast track.You will be reminded who you are and how much potential you have and excited to know the online program you will get from Chris new development of training programs...

http://www.theawareshow.com/connect/howard/

Chris Howard


Internationally acclaimed lifestyle and wealth strategist, Christopher Howard is a best-selling author, prominent speaker and CEO of the Academy of Wealth and Achievement. For almost two decades, Chris has researched the success strategies of the world's greatest business, philanthropic and spiritual minds. His extensive knowledge is shared through his books, home study courses and public seminars worldwide. As a result, Chris Howard has helped hundreds of thousands of individuals create the wealth and engineer the lifestyle they truly desire.

Donna

一切都是最好的安排

從前有一個國王很喜歡打獵。 有一次,國王興高采烈帶著隨從們到大草原打獵。國王看見一頭花豹正在樹上休息,他就彎弓搭箭,瞄準花豹,嗖的一聲,利箭不偏不倚鑽入花豹的頸子,花豹慘嘶一聲,仆倒在地。 國王很開心,立即策馬上前,他眼見花豹躺在地上毫無動靜,一時失去戒心,在隨從尚未趕上時,就下馬檢視花豹。誰想到,花豹使出最後的力氣突然跳起來撲向國王。國王看見花豹張開血盆大口咬來,下意識地閃了一下,心想:「完了!」

幸好,隨從及時趕上,用長槍刺入花豹的咽喉,國王覺得小指一涼,花豹就不吭聲跌在地上,這次真的死了。

隨從走上來扶起國王,看見國王的小指頭被花豹咬掉小半截,血流不止,隨行的御醫立刻上前包紮。雖然傷勢不算嚴重,但國王的興致破壞光了,大夥兒就黯然回宮去了。

回宮以後,國王越想越不痛快,就找了宰相來飲酒解愁。宰相知道了這事後,一邊舉酒敬國王,一邊微笑說:「大王啊!少了一小塊肉總比少了一條命來得好吧!想開一點,一切都是最好的安排!」

國王一聽,悶了半天的不快終於找到宣洩的機會。他凝視宰相說:「嘿!你真的認為一切都是最好的安排嗎?」

宰相說:「大王,真的,如果我們能放大眼界,確確實實,一切都是最好的安排!」

國王勃然大怒,命令侍衛說:「你們馬上把宰相抓出去斬了!」

當侍衛架起宰相往門外走時,國王忽然有點後悔,大叫一聲說:「慢著,先抓去關起來!」國王大手一揮,兩名侍衛就架著宰相走出去了。

過了一個月,國王養好傷,又帶著隨從們去打獵。走著走著,來到一處偏遠的山林,忽然從山上衝下一隊臉上塗著油彩的蠻人,三兩下就把隨從們都殺死,把國王五花大綁,帶回山上。

國王被帶到一口比人還高的大鍋爐,柴火正熊熊燃燒。當天正是滿月,原來這一支原始部落每逢月圓之日就會下山尋找祭祀「滿月女神」的犧牲品。

這時大祭司現身,當他準備安排祭祀儀式時,卻發現國王的左手小指頭少了小半截,他咬牙切齒咒罵了半天,然後下令說:「把這個廢物趕走,另外再找一個!」

原來,用來祭祀「滿月女神」的祭品必須是完美的象徵,絕不能有半點殘缺。

脫困的國王大喜若狂,飛奔回宮,立刻叫人釋放宰相,在御花園設宴,為自己保住一命而慶祝。

國王一邊向宰相敬酒說:「愛卿啊,你說的真是一點也不錯,果然,一切都是最好的安排!如果不是被花豹咬了一口,今天連命都沒了。」

宰相回敬國王說:「賀喜大王對人生的體驗又更上一層樓了。」

許多時候我們因為生活上一點小小的挫折便心灰意冷,甚至指天罵地,彷彿自己是全世界最不幸的人。其實,生命中每個挫折與羞辱都有它的意義,振作起來勇往直前,你會發現原來「一切都是最好的安排!」

Friday, October 8, 2010

為什麼我要幫你?

為什麼我要幫你?


山上有一座神廟,裡頭供奉著一尊佛祖。傳說這尊佛祖非常靈驗,只要信徒心誠意正的許願,佛祖都會大發慈悲,幫信徒圓他的夢。

有一個信徒聽說了這件事,他為了表現出虔誠的心,在佛祖誕辰時,親自揹著雞、豬、魚三樣牲禮,準備在佛祖的生日時,到神廟裡向佛祖許願。他爬過一山又一山,歷盡千辛萬苦,終於到了神廟。

他恭敬的將牲禮擺上供桌,噗通一聲跪在地上,雙手合十誠敬的向佛祖禱告說:「靈驗的佛祖啊!我已經考了十年功名,卻都一直無法如願。你的法力無邊,請你看在我這麼虔誠的份上,讓我今年金榜題名吧!」

信徒虔誠的禱告完之後,收拾起牲禮準備打道回府。

他才走出廟口,就看見一個乞丐伸手向他乞討說:「大方的施主呀!我已經餓了三天三夜了,請你可憐可憐我,給我一點祭拜的牲禮充充饑吧!」

信徒看乞丐髒兮兮的模樣,露出嫌惡的表情揮揮手,說:「走!走!瞧你又破又爛,別弄髒我的牲禮,我的牲禮還要帶回家給妻子兒女吃呢!那裡有你的份!」

乞丐不斷地磕頭乞求,說:「大方的施主呀!我就快餓死了,只要給我一點點牲禮就夠了呀!請你救救我啊!」

信徒怕乞丐來搶他的牲禮,趕緊扛起牲禮,頭也不回的跑下山去。

夜漸漸深了,天氣也愈來愈冷,乞丐餓的全身無力,用身上僅有的破毛毯把自己的身體緊緊裹住,縮著身子蹲在廟旁。

不知從那裡突然冒出一隻全身都是膿瘡的癩痢狗,一瘸一瘸地跑到乞丐身邊,叼著毛毯一角,緊緊偎在乞丐身旁取暖。

小狗身上的膿瘡破了,膿沾髒了乞丐的毛毯,把毛毯弄的又臭又黏。

乞丐生氣的踹了小狗一下,說:「滾!滾!瞧你滿身又膿又瘡,別弄髒了我的毛毯,這裡可沒有你窩身的地方。」

小狗挨不起痛,淚眼汪汪的慢慢跑開,當天晚上就凍死在神廟的大門邊。

第二天,乞丐雖然有毛毯覆身沒有凍死,但也因為缺少食物而餓死了。

半年後,虔誠的信徒進京赴考又落榜了。

他氣沖沖的跑上山,向佛祖抱怨說:「說什麼你的法力無邊,根本都是騙人的,如果你真的靈驗,為什麼連一個簡單的考試都沒有辦法幫我,還讓我名落孫山?」

佛祖拿出榜單,問信徒:「為什麼我要幫你?」

信徒回答:「我虔誠的扛著牲禮上山,為了趕在你的誕辰之前來到廟裡,一刻也不敢休息,光是這份誠意,你就應該幫我。」

佛祖叫乞丐的靈魂出來,乞丐的靈魂向信徒大聲哀嚎,說:「我只請你給我一點牲禮,讓我填飽肚子,你都不肯,連這一點施捨之心都沒有,佛祖為什麼要幫助你?不過佛祖呀!你也真是殘忍,寧可眼睜睜的看我餓死,也不肯賜一點東西給我吃,難道你沒有一點憐憫之心嗎?」

佛祖又叫小狗的靈魂出來,小狗的靈魂向乞丐大聲吠叫,說:「我只求你讓我窩在毛毯旁,給我一點溫暖,對你來說根本沒有任何損失,你都不肯,佛祖為什麼要憐憫你?」

最後,佛祖指著信徒說:「讓你金榜題名,」再指著乞丐說:「讓你豐衣足食,對我來說都是舉手之勞。但是,你們連自己能力所及,可以輕易幫助別人的,都不肯付出,你們又有什麼地方值得我動這舉手之勞呢?」

佛祖說完,順手把信徒的榜單拋到深谷中,信徒再也與功名無緣。



心靈啟示:

我們總是容易把所有心思放在我們期待「得到」的地方,腦海中無時無刻盤算著,我們做這些事可以得到什麼利益、享受什麼成果?卻很少用心思想想,我們這麼做會不會令別人方便一點、輕鬆一些?

如果我們都不願意給別人什麼,又有什麼資格要求別人必須給我們呢?

在我們有能力的時候不肯幫助人,那麼在我們需要的時候,又有什麼資格要求別人伸出援手呢?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Success Begins In Your Mind

Success Begins In Your Mind

– Why Not Start Now!

Success comes in various forms, and also has many meanings, depending on what one is looking for in his or her life, relationship and career.

For instance to athletes, success can mean obtaining that gold medal. To parent’s success can mean raising their children with good values, to doctors, success can mean saving a life ... and to some it can mean a job promotion or acquiring vast wealth.

It actually depends on your own perspective of life...

One apparent thing about success is that every individual has to determine the true meaning of success in his or her own life.

The one’s who walk through life making an attempt to accomplish “success” through someone else’s standards or through the standards of one’s society will continuously be lacking that true successful feeling!

The modern dictionary defines success as that certain measure or degree of achievement or accomplishment or as a desirable and favorable outcome.

You need to make the decision of “what it is you truly want”? 

To accomplish true success, you must set realistic goals for yourself, meaning goals which can be achieved...

You can easily measure your success as to how close you come to accomplishing the goals that you have set for yourself based on your own skills and abilities.

Know that your “subconscious mind” is a very incredible and powerful tool and that you must utilize it wisely to its complete capacity, in order to accomplish full-on success.

To fully understand how powerful and encouraging your “subconscious mind” can be, you should understand first and recognize that there really is no “coincidence”, that nothing in life occurs just by accident or chance.

Meaning, nothing is predestined, and that you do have the power to control, not only your life - but also your success and your failure.

Events or incidents in life can be controlled to help resolve one’s problems. You have the power to change certain aspects of your life - which you are not happy with...

Whereas there is no disagreeing to the fact that we cannot at all times acquire everything which we may want, it is likewise true that you can fully utilize your natural power over events in your life and cause things to move in your desired direction more “frequently”.

Expectation, belief and desire are the three powerful forces which can help you to do so. Before anything we wish for to occur can happen, we must not only truly desire for it to happen, not only believe deeply that it will happen, but also fully expect it to happen.

The “subconscious mind” generates all things in your life based on the information and messages you first send to it.

We are continuously sending the mind information and messages – the problem is most of the information sent is negative information which only works against you.

This is why some things never seem to recuperate regardless of all our efforts to make them succeed!

It will be truly difficult to follow any success level if you are not truly specific and clear regarding what you believe is attainable for yourself.

After this it is important we gauge our actions, thoughts and motives, as we go about our daily life.

You should gain understanding and knowledge of where you want to be … monitoring the things you are doing wrong, as well as the things you are doing right.

Subsequently you should be ready to change for the better when and as it is needed. Always remember that whatever you display in your beliefs, thoughts and actions are ALL sent to your “subconscious mind”.

So be careful what thoughts you entertain because your thoughts turn to beliefs and your beliefs turn to actions, and all three can have a great influence towards your success.

Note that…

• If we worry constantly about not acquiring enough finances, then we will really not acquire enough;

• If we think we do not have the capability to accomplish our goals, then we will never achieve any;

• If we think that there are not enough open opportunities, then there will never be.

Why?

Simply because the “subconscious mind” is constantly working on the information which we have sent to it and “negative information” results in nothing but a “negative outcome”.

When you do accomplish your goal, stop a while and relish that certain satisfaction and pleasure of achieving a goal.

Great or small, it is ALL success; the beginning of that life you truly want for yourself!

讓你的意念從標桿上跳過去

Well you can't help having a bit of bad luck now and again; that's life. But you can control your state of mind and have a positive attitude. That's a trait you don't find every day but the key to survive and success.

布勃卡是舉世聞名的奧運會撐桿跳冠軍,享有「撐桿跳沙皇」的美譽。 他曾三十五次創造撐桿跳世界紀錄,所保持的兩項世界紀錄,迄今無人打破。

在參加「國家勛章」的授勛典禮上,記者們紛紛提問:「你的成功的秘訣是什麼?」

布勃卡微笑著說:「很簡單,每次撐桿跳之前,我先讓自己的意念跳過橫桿。」

作為一名撐桿跳選手,有一段日子,儘管布勃卡不斷嘗試新的高度,但每次都以失敗告終。他苦惱過、沮喪過,甚至懷疑自己的潛力。

有一天,他來到訓練場,禁不住搖頭對教練說:「我實在跳不過去。」

教練平靜地問:「你是怎麼想的?」

布勃卡如實回答:「只要踏上起跳線,一看清那根高懸的橫桿,心裡就害怕。 」

教練看著他,突然厲聲喝道:「布勃卡,你現在要做的是閉上眼睛,先讓你的意念從標桿上跳過去。」

教練的訓斥讓布勃卡如夢初醒。遵從教練的吩咐,他重新撐桿。這一次,他順利地躍身而過。

教練欣慰地笑了,語重心長地說:「記住,先讓你的意念從標桿上跳過去,你的身體就一定會跟著過去。」

突破心靈障礙,才能超越自己。如果你的意念屈服了,那麼你可能真的就不行。