Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Section 2 summary illness helping mindset and unconditional love

[12:00, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: great 👍 you have done it. We had a wonderful exploration and self refection

[12:05, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: some things you can do

1

please share your learning from other media so that I know your thinking,  progress...

2

Please send some family photos to the groups so that we have more perceptual understanding sensibility感性上認識

[12:05, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: I will send my family photos as well.

[12:05, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: Pheabe will as well

[12:08, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 3

please read this article again.  The better you know our subconscious mind mechanism, also your husband and Ben know it, the better communication with Love ❤️ to be seen

[12:12, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 4

next time, if Ben asks for your attention,  please be soft, warm and nice a little bit. You just do it for a breakthrough of yourself. 讓他感受他童年失去的❤,他的潛意識早已用行動說出他的渴望,他想和你,和爸爸有情感連結,用他喜歡的方式。

[12:23, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 5

please turn off Tel during sleep. Don't read any messages during the sleeping time. It will seriously affect your sleep hormone like melatonin ... 

This is better to put your routine plan about 

Habit change.

[12:37, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 6

Find any harmful habit you desperately want to sabotage. Please put into habit change categories in the routine plan. 

You have done excellent job!  I have to say that every time I see you, I find you are making micro changes, form subconscious to conscious. 

1

In communication: you can think over and make a different approach to Ben and listen to his point of view in a more calm , patient way, despite you are still feeling repressed,  uncomfortable sometimes as y. That is why you are improving. 

2

You know your helping mindset has your onw emotions , belief and attitude to life, that may not let people feel your love but some limiting states like guilt, shame, anger , insecurity and insufficient love and over perfectionism...

That is the AWRENESS

THEN today we also discussed we have choice.

open mind to get information from your kids 

be nicer to kids and be nicer to yourself

think over the articles and if we use conditional love, the vicious cycle is just running and will damage our children and self repeatedly.

... you name it.

Ill helping mind is conditional love, somewhat from our original family enclosed communication model!

We really need to get rid of it in our life. Slowly, be patient to ourselves, be nice to ourselves, Our kids can feel it and give their love with the same way to themselves and to our parents.  

Ben, good boy, sensitive boy, he can have his life to excel his talent and dreams. Our parents the only thing to do is to fully support him to develop his identity, self esteem and potential, creativity, without judgments, and discourage....

Next time, please ask him his dreams and gradually he can tell you no matter big or small. I will practice with you later how in a more comfortable way.

Also practice how to have some conversations which other really like but you don't like much.  From them, you get more understanding from each others, And get your ideas across, both can.  

[13:21, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 帶著條件和期望去付出

孩子感受的可能是壓力和交換,

是限制,有情緒和雜念。


家庭,夫妻、伴侶關係也一樣,

涉及情感勒索,

就完全沒有愛的感覺了。


以下好文章,透徹地導出了

什麽是有條件的愛和後果;

如何在衝突中仍可以送給別人無條件的愛?


如何做到真正的去愛?

讓別人感受到愛?學到愛?

愛的心甘情願,沒有委屈,也不傷害別人?https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/03/blog-post_24.html

[13:24, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 韓國朋友給我的一課: https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/07/blog-post_16.html including all we just discussed, Five love languages and beyond. Enjoy reading it and waiting for your feedback

[13:28, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: Slowly everyday you can read some and no hurry. But consistently. This is your mental exercise in your routine plan. Your routine plan has already started from the first day you found us.  Give yourself big applause. Self affirmation, every day

[12:00, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: great 👍 you have done it. We had a wonderful exploration and self refection

[12:05, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: some things you can do

1

please share your learning from other media so that I know your thinking,  progress...

2

Please send some family photos to the groups so that we have more perceptual understanding sensibility感性上認識

[12:05, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: I will send my family photos as well.

[12:05, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: Pheabe will as well

[12:08, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 3

please read this article again.  The better you know our subconscious mind mechanism, also your husband and Ben know it, the better communication with Love ❤️ to be seen

[12:12, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 4

next time, if Ben asks for your attention,  please be soft, warm and nice a little bit. You just do it for a breakthrough of yourself. 讓他感受他童年失去的❤,他的潛意識早已用行動說出他的渴望,他想和你,和爸爸有情感連結,用他喜歡的方式。

[12:23, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 5

please turn off Tel during sleep. Don't read any messages during the sleeping time. It will seriously affect your sleep hormone like melatonin ... 

This is better to put your routine plan about 

Habit change.

[12:37, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: 6

Find any harmful habit you desperately want to sabotage. Please put into habit change categories in the routine plan.



Summary:

[13:14, 3/30/2022] Donna Wong: You have done excellent job!  I have to say that every time I see you, I find you are making micro and different changes, form subconscious to conscious. We also cover :


1


In communication: you can think over and make a different approach to Ben and listen to his point of view in a more calm , patient way, despite you are still feeling repressed,  uncomfortable sometimes as y. That is why you are improving. 


2


You know your helping mindset has your onw emotions , belief and attitude to life, that may not let people feel your love but some limiting states like guilt, shame, anger , insecurity and insufficient love and over perfectionism...


That is the AWRENESS


THEN today we also discussed we have choice.


open mind to get information from your kids 


be nicer to kids and be nicer to yourself


think over the articles and if we use conditional love, the vicious cycle is just running and will damage our children and self repeatedly.


... you name it.


Ill helping mind is conditional love, somewhat from our original family enclosed communication model!


We really need to get rid of it in our life. Slowly, be patient to ourselves, be nice to ourselves, Our kids can feel it and give their love with the same way to themselves and to our parents.  


Ben, good boy, sensitive boy, he can have his life to excel his talent and dreams. Our parents the only thing to do is to fully support him to develop his identity, self esteem and potential, creativity, without judgments, and discourage....


Next time, please ask him his dreams and gradually he can tell you no matter big or small. I will practice with you later how in a more comfortable way.


Also practice how to have some conversations which other really like but you don't like much or whatever.  From them, you get more understanding from each others, And get your ideas across, both can.                                                     


3

Praise therapy at the beginning. We went through this process. You got lots of reflection from your son to your husband and yourself. Please keep doing with reference to 我的價值誰來決定?( Praise Therapy 3) https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/03/praise-therapy-3.html



4 Guilt healing: You have mentioned again about your guilt when you read the articles about the unconditional love. Yes, love with conditions  is one of the rooted causes of insecurity, confidence and blaming, bad relationship with parents... in the long term impact. 


I said, guilt to some extent , it is helpful for creating positive reflection, self improvement, also protect your from being further hurt by your dad or teachers  in your younger time. That is the past. Now that feelings overwhelmed in presence still, that is not wise. 

Take time to heal. 


I used to be a very guilty mom. I cried whenever I shared my story of my mistakes. I felt extremely sorry for my son.


Even now I can see how bad impact to our son. Take whole life to heal himself and myself. That is why I must become my own therapiest. 


I said to my son:

I am sorry to you. The only thing I can do is not to repeat the mistakes by giving your support as far as I can. 


I hoped to learn to have a better communicator so that the relationship with your dad and you will be better. Now my relationship with them have been much better. 


It will not go back - As I am on the way to be much more wholeness healer to myself and others . 


My belief is: 


Although we cannot change the past, we can change our presence and create a better future. 


Hopefully my sharing will make the topic Guilt release more clear, helpful for you in supporting Ben's future. 


今天我們學習的重點:當我們帶著條件去愛,帶來限制性的信念和態度去愛,會帶來什麽後果,也是我們童年陰影的源頭,窮一身去治療這些童年陰影。我們現代的家長,需要好留意,否則會給後代循環性創傷問題,原生家庭的問題就會一代傳一代。所以title:用一生去治愈童年, 就是這個意思。你問我要多久可以走出來,真的可以是一生的功課,我們要學習的就是做自我療愈,陪伴自己,走過人生高高低低,接納自己的一切 ,( 便有能力聆聽和接納別人) 身心安頓去面對每一個生命的過程。這個過程真的不簡單,不可以是短時間可以完成,那是完美主義的極端位。爲什麽這麽説?因爲我的個案從小孩子到80 90 嵗,問題都可以好類似,self esteem issues and how to see fear. 來到人生每一個階段,都有好多不懂,要學,同時不多不少也會暴露出一生中纍計的創傷導致的問題,影響我們人生的每一個階段的決定和幸福。但有的人可以早些有心理準備去面對,有的人選擇逃避,所以就算如何修行,都有好多要學習,每個人都要面對生老病死,又是一個新的課題,最大的挑戰。共勉。

C

Donna it is in my depth that I can reach my son isn't it?

D

you are gradually getting touch with his inner world, his inner child when u have high empathy and understanding , better communication approach. You are getting better and better. Yesterday talk we had lots of this topic and u was rather in it

C

I had an exchange today with Benjamin. He was telling me how hard it is to learn a new language at his age. I told him his dad leaned Cantonese at 19 and is now very proficient and that there are studies done to indicate we only use 5% of our brains. He said there is no way you can proof and that is stupid I would say something like that. Before I would go to how disrespectful he was and that he hadn't look at the studies. Now I said," you can't imagine anyone can make that kind of claim. It makes no sense to you. You have a different way of looking at it. Tell me more about what you think." I can tell it really disarms him and then he went on to say what he thought.

D

[10:37, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: he has his reasons to say that probably to protect himself, or to say his own difficulty that you need to understand. What you say is a general potential of human being. All make sense

[10:38, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: My son is similar to him. He reminds me to be human and to see him as an individual , True, he can have his talent but not in language or something but on other things probably

[10:39, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: he has his own talent ...

[10:41, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: that is why i found i need to be very careful , not to do comparison in not proper time. Your husband is very talent and he learned it to show how he loves you, he want to know you netter

keep going, looks he really consider you, Mom , as his great friend. Treasure this chance , cherish his trust. Trust  intention is key. To  receive intention rather than the surface behavior

"You have a different way of looking at it. Tell me more about what you think." This is your golden quote I love soo much. Exactly, we can use this way to treat difference as normal and to respect each other in a sincere way. so that we can listen to others'' heart truly. in return, to understand  ourselves better, to see wisdom behind  vulnerability. It works!

How to release guilt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-QVh0qbFe0





Friday, March 18, 2022

Summary on first section 17 3 2022

 Dear Christine


昨天是我們《擁抱情緒  改寫信念 轉化生命》第二階段

的第一課,也是HEART TO HEART 的傾談過程

INNER CHILD THERAPY, COMPASSIONS THERAPY

非常有價值, inspiring

我總結了這幾個月我們所觀察的,感受到您潛意識的覺知和微妙的轉化,表達我們對你的贊美、認同和support,你也看到自己的進步,對情緒控制的能力的提升,對感受別人的感受的敏感度提升。

同時,你對孩子的一些擔心、自我内疚、恐懼、無助的狀態,當大家遇到衝突,就往往會出現,你很想做一個聆聽孩子背後的聲音,可以多些鼓勵孩子的媽媽,可以和孩子在心平氣和的環境下分享的好媽媽。我説:這是我們共同的渴望,一起去學習。

於是,我說,在上一次的電話中,我再次深深感受到你童年不愉快的經歷和痛苦,其實是創傷後遺症,與今天的情緒狀態息息相關。

我帶你做《擁抱内在小孩,建構内在父母的冥想》進入自己內心世界,自己內在的家,安撫和接納受傷的內在小孩,讓她得到溫暖和理解,得到安慰和支持。

Detail 過程;

我看到你内在缺乏安全感,容易焦慮,對Ben在表達他的立場上有衝突,你會很煩,很擔心,這和爸爸當年對你被別人侮辱后的態度類似,我請你做靜靜 (受傷的内在小孩),我做你的媽媽,然後爸爸,他們是你現在渴望的爸爸媽媽。你聽到他們的難過,擔心的心情,你聽到他們和你道歉,你明白他們多一些,原諒他們多一些。我問你之後的感覺,你好坦白告訴我:靜靜明白父母多了,但她内心還很驚。我説:慢慢來,纍計的創傷,幾十年的壓抑,需要時間。

這是長期的反復去做的INNER CHILD THERAPY,但一定會一次次看到成長。於是,我問你:那麽靜靜想爸爸媽媽説些什麽,做些什麽,去幫助你得到你最需要的幫助。反問我:如果你是我的爸爸媽媽,你會如何做,我説出我的經驗,孩子三歲上學,轉校的原因,表達我對孩子的關愛。

那麽,如果我是靜靜的父母,我會要靜靜安靜下來,講給我聼聼整個過程,擁抱她,安撫她,給她精神上的支援和買她想要的衣服,保護她!

你補充的更詳細,於是,我們又來做一次:我做靜靜,你做媽媽,你講出自己埋藏心中幾十年的話,你要媽媽和你去找那個壞人,去報警。然後,你說的很透徹,媽媽最想你可以安頓下來,明白家人的支持,你不再害怕了 大概 approximately

這幾次來回的做,明顯你got it. 你的能量提升了,你想起女兒21歲時的一次交通意外。你發現自己也是很惡,心急的閙女兒,表現你對她的擔心和焦慮,内在是投射出當年爸爸對你那種粗暴的方法去表達自己的擔心,你在投射這個陰影。這次的經歷,一定對她的心理有傷害。於是,我馬上叫你用你現在成長后的媽媽去安撫女兒的求救,你會説什麽。這個Role play 你完全自己去做,請女兒做10次的深呼吸,安頓心,平靜才有智慧!

你説的非常道題和深刻,給女兒心理上的安慰和同理,正是她最需要的,我相信,因爲我真的好感動。

相信以後你處理這一類的溝通issues和事情,會有不同的做法,因爲你真的在磨練自己,在反思,你開始慢慢修煉自己,有更多的同理心對自己,就有慈悲心對孩子,對先生。你在拿出行動,去改變。

Conclusion:

您學習安撫自己内在的孩子,寬恕父母,原諒自己,多了内在安全感,内在的平靜和安頓,也多了對自己和父母的慈悲心,同理心。多了一些解決自己自身問題的能力。

我們發現:童年心理創傷,帶來負面的信念和價值觀,封閉式的溝通模式,影響今天關係,也影響到生命的各個層面。

做完後,我請你回到自己給女兒帶來的創傷上,去安撫自己的孩女兒,做一個理想的父母,慈悲同理心的父母。你做到了,做的非常好!非常深刻!So profound

内在孩子得到療愈,潛意識力量就得以發揮!面對自己的挑戰,更有力量!

真的為你 開心. 你的成長,也感動我,給我力量!

內在小孩得到內在父母的擁抱,情緒創傷得到療愈,身心得以安頓,情緒就會平穩好多,減少投射。解決問題的智慧和內在的潛能就容易發揮出來。

看回當下面對的課題,角度不同,心態不同,信念也會在改寫,自信心、自我價值感也會慢慢增強。

這個練習不是一次就可以清除過去所有的負面情緒,也不可能一次療愈幾十年纍計的創傷,這是一生的練習。

學到這個方法,可以幫助自己,隨時回到自己內在的家,和自己的情緒對話,自我轉化情緒,內在小孩的療愈,是根源治療法。

內在小孩治療過程,是自我療愈潛能綻放的過程。

 你可以用這個冥想想帶自己進入潛意識,常常自己做,a self affirmation process

Affirm your Inner Child! - 建構內在父母,擁抱內在小孩https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-_ExtpWL20

爲了瞭解陰影和創傷後遺症對人的影響,强化自己的内在價值,請閲讀:

修復心理創傷 - 安撫內在小孩

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/06/blog-post.html

在下一次談話之前的幾天裏,你可以做下練習,寫下你的反思和心得,任何感想,下一次可以都給我聼,也可以分享出來。

寫信 - 與自己連結

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/02/blog-post_32.html

Please write some reflection for your today's section and use 

BE: DO : HAVE to enforce yourself

Example:

Be:我是一個有同理心、包容和輕鬆自在的人,

我是一個通情達理,溫柔慈悲的媽媽和太太。

我是一個不斷學習、積極、渴望成爲更好的自己的Christine

聚焦這個願景圖,享受這個達標的快樂。

 Do:爲了達到這個夢想,我要每天和自己做與情緒對話的冥想,改寫信念的冥想,平靜安頓的冥想,我宗教的冥想。我要在行動上給孩子做一個榜樣:

做一個有智慧的去愛孩子的媽媽,更加溫柔的太太,真正愛自己的人。

 Have:我值得擁有愛的流動的家庭,值得擁有愛我的孩子。我已經擁有這樣的心態,我就會擁有這樣的情感,拿出愛的行動,我就會有這樣的夢想成真的現實!

Final message to take away:

Despite the disconnection occurred, we made it. You did well. Amazing. A profound healing process to connect with your inner world, to heal and empower your inner wound child. It is a step by step growing up journey. As you opened heart are ready to listen to your inner voice, you have become more empathetic and compassionate to yourself and in return, to your children.

 Attached please find the plan with schedule for your record

Next section is 28 March 2022 US TIME 9pm

——————————

Christine

I watched the inner child video and it was very healing. The music took me to another realm

[12:42, 3/21/2022] Donna Wong: 


這個方法是自我轉化情緒的深度療愈,也可以非常生活化的心靈滋潤,我把它作爲自己routine,每當有自我批判,自我否定,或任何不安的情緒( 這就是我們的内在小孩,或我們的陰影,甚至是我們的人格的一部分),學習和它對話,聆聽它背後的訴求和價值,情緒的信息,情緒就會悄然離去。因爲我接納了自己的不完美,也接納別人的不完美,我就多了選擇,也是找到解決問題的方法的過程。

我很喜歡說:平靜出智慧,你的名字,就是父母的渴望,他們暗示你的潛意識很有智慧,對嗎? 而你的人生也確實證明給自己:you can be a miracle if you want.

So, 你的routing plan裏,建議放入這個item,愛自己,從接納自己開始,從self affirmation, self reelection 開始。

這也是我下一次想深入討論的 mental part,做一個愛好自己的routine plan, a process to learn to love ourselves.

I believe, without acceptance of ourselves, our ambition is only the castles in the air.

 

 

Thursday, March 17, 2022

整全身心靈陪伴之旅

 

Dear Christine,

Thank you for accepting our plan - a life transformation process to go together.

I combined the plan and the schedule in the link for your reference anytime. 

 Christine 找到自己内在力量,遇見心想事成的自己

整全身心靈陪伴之旅                  

Dear Christine

在《與情緒創傷説再見》課程的2個多月中,我們都開心地看到您的同理心、自我反思力和掌控情緒的能力有不同程度的提升。同時,你也看到還需要深度療愈心理創傷以及核心情緒 (焦慮、内疚、自我價值, 愛的匱乏感,沒有安全感etc.,) 改寫限制性的信念和身心不安頓的狀態。建立一套真正愛自己的身心藍圖。

Donna /Pheabe會陪伴您邁步人生路,讓您提昇更高意識及維度,邁向新的境界,跳出舊有窒礙自己的框架思維。創造全新的信念和實相,輕鬆自在地綻放你的內在光芒,能跟隨內心真正的自己,活現出更好版本的自己。遇見心想事成,身體健康的Christine 自己。

🌷整全計劃內容:

共修部分:

運用三 Whatsapp共修群組,覺察覺知覺悟當下的感想留言。讓彼此心聲能夠被理解,被聆聽,被看見。三人之間互撑支持,學習同頻共振 - A Synergistic effect ,帶着意識走向高能量區,更能提昇人際溝通的流動。就著不同課題,發放心靈文章及視頻。讓陪伴的感覺持續昇華,更能堅定自己的優點,也為生命注入更多的動力。

課程和個談部分:

🔹 日期:3月中開始,每個月三次Zoom電話交談,大約每101次,每次1-2小時。

🔹 美國時間:星期一、四 9pm to 11pm ( 如有更改,提前2天通知)

 頭三個月導師Donna Wong’s「改寫信念 轉化生命」深化課程

根據 Christine的當下情況,做專題的探索、討論、分享。

🎈 Goals:

内在關係:

 將繼續與Christine一起深入學習Christina的潛意識世界,與内在自己做真情的對話,發掘潛意識自我修復、自我反思、自我提升的潛能,療愈過去的心靈創傷,更加接納自己的過去、自己的陰影和不完美,繼續改寫信念,提升慈悲心,同理心, 自我價值感,找到身體和心理上真正需要,回歸内心的平靜。

找到Christine更多美麗特質潛能與智慧

找到生命的使命感 

 

外在關係:

學習用潛意識智慧性的溝通模式,開放式的溝通方式,

更加包容同理,求同存異改善與家人的關係,愛的流動更加暢順。

 

 日常生活習慣:

 

拼棄陋習,改善睡眠質素,提升愛自己的能力和行動力,建立積極、健康、有條理的生活習慣,改變以往較為凌亂的生活習慣,身心合一,達至内心快樂富足。

 

🎈Approaches

 

With holistic hypnotherapies (body - mind - soul), conversations and mindfulness practice. They are integrated therapies created from my self-development experiences and effective dynamic transformation therapies.

 1 Emotion Interpretation therapy and Inner child therapy, shadow therapy

 2 TimeLine therapy, Forgiveness therapy, Dream Therapy

To Interpret subconscious mind, dreams, illusions, distorted emotions in a constructive way and find their insights and values, release repression, reduce depression, improve inner communication.

·       To connect with original family, inner self, to let go with past fears, anger and guilt and find a more capable, beautiful self.

·       To transform emotion, change belief, enhance self-acceptance, self-esteem

 3 Self-affirmations, Gratitude, Communication Therapies:

 to enhance self-value and happiness state and to improve relationship with family

 4 Sleep and relaxation hypnosis:  to reduce stress, anxiety, improve sleep quality and prevent or treat insomnia

 5 Compassion-Love therapy: to improve execution power in self-compassion ability

 6 Personality test and analysis (MBTI test): A self-discovery process to excel self-potential and improve communication skills

 Behavior therapy: to change self-destructive or unhealthy behaviours/habits, a healthy eating, desirable lifestyle building process.

 8 Time regression therapy:

to learn a skill of tracing missing, misplaced stuff and improving memory

 後三個月: 導師Pheabe Leung,優質課程「遇見心想事成的自己」優化版

🔹 內容函蓋:

🎈冰山理論

🎈吸引力法則

🎈性格學九型人格

🎈心想事成的心法

🎈如何做思緒斷捨離

🎈學習静心的藝術

🎈養生飲食調理/陪伴運動

🎈如何有效建立目標行動力

🎈如何持續掌握執行力/習慣力

🎈如何有效槓桿你的時間

🌟用: US$1800

分二次付費:

15.3.2022 HK$7,100 ( received 14 3 2022) 

30.4.2022 HK$7,100


Schedule:

Date: 14 3 2022

Donna 「改寫信念 轉化生命」深化課程

From Mid-March to Mid-June, total 9 sections

At Christine’s Time Zoom, Night (within 9pm – 11pm)

3 sections / around 10 days interval with Thursdays and Monday as a cycle or according to current arrangement within 2 days’ notice in advance.

If necessary, 2 sections within 10 days are applied at both conveniences

 

 Pheabe 優質課程「遇見心想事成的自己」優化版

From Later June to October (approximately), total 9 sections

The schedule can be rearranged later or the same as above. 


14 3 2022

____________

17 3 2022

 Today our section was abit less smooth due to internet and Zoom disconnection. I was really grateful for your understanding and we did well.

Do you have Gmail? I used to use GoogleMeet. Very smooth and it is free. next time we can try.

一開始,我回顧了大家這四個月的互動。

(1) 回歸

第一次談話:

我發現你可以走到今天這一深度的自我成長階段,是你的能力、毅力和你内心的呼喚。我和pheabe都發現你的進步很微妙、潛移默化,這是最好的,是潛意識的智慧被開啓!

記得嗎?你在第一次的傾談的最後,你發現自己已經有些不同。

以下是當時我寫下的記錄和我給你的回饋與鼓勵:

在我們的談話中,最後我請你總結了三個方面,你的發現,自己的提升:你説:

開始感受自己的和感受,感受別人的感受,學習設身處地,換位思考,帶入別人的需要去看問題

更多從正面去看待孩子,看到更多孩子的潛能、美麗特質和能力

開始學習面對自己的焦慮,縮短焦慮的時間,delay自己的期望和對別人的要求。

我看到你的内心開始堅强了一些,内心的强大,源於慈悲和同理心,特別是對自己,然後對別人。

 

一旦我們開始有更多的同理心和慈悲心,我們就有智慧平靜自己,然後知道方法,或者改變方法,令自己都一些彈性。

 

你已經在改寫信念,有内疚、我做的不夠好,我不是一個好媽媽,慢慢改變為:

 

Be:我是一個有同理心、包容和輕鬆自在的人,

我是一個通情達理,溫柔慈悲的媽媽和太太。

我是一個不斷學習、積極、渴望成爲更好的自己的Christine

聚焦這個願景圖,享受這個達標的快樂。

 

Do:爲了達到這個夢想,我要每天和自己做與情緒對話的冥想,改寫信念的冥想,平靜安頓的冥想,我宗教的冥想。我要在行動上給孩子做一個榜樣:

做一個有智慧的去愛孩子的媽媽,更加溫柔的太太,真正愛自己的人。

 

Have:我值得擁有愛的流動的家庭,值得擁有愛我的孩子。我已經擁有這樣的心態,我就會擁有這樣的情感,拿出愛的行動,我就會有這樣的夢想成真的現實!

 

可以每天找一個時間,靜靜地和自己講以上的冥想句子,同時加上自己的感受和新的具體的信念和方法在Be Do Have 練習裏。

 

我每天和你在大氣中默默一起來做Be Do Have,相信我們的共振頻率會給自己正能量,帶著慈悲和愛,面對每一天的挑戰,享受每一天的生活,尋找每一天的的快樂。


然後你真的慢慢在朝著這個方向前進,提升自己的心理質素啊。

以前,當你不見了心愛的玉石手腕,弟弟給你的禮物 - 情親的象徵物,你會很焦慮,很煩躁,情緒會crush,breakdown,但這次,你沒有,你仍有不安和内疚、批判自己的聲音,有煩躁,但你開始感受自己的情緒,去聽到自己的聲音,心情平靜好多,想好多方法去安頓自己,如ask for help。打電話給我,我給你很多鼓勵的話提出如何尋找失物的方法,以後會再學習。

所以,當我們把情緒看成自己的好朋友,聆聽情緒背後的意義,情緒就會得到控制。這就是接納自己的一個方法。

當你做錯事,不記得,失去東西,你會有恐懼,對自己極大的否定和批判。你對自己的ADD有很大的批判和内疚,說對不住先生和孩子。

第三次談話:

在上次談話中,我聆聽到你内在小孩的cry,内在孩子的創傷,當你收到侮辱和欺凌,沒有媽媽的安慰,沒有被爸爸安撫。反而被他大鬧一通,一種不被接納的狀態,成爲了你内在傷害性的聲譽,我明白你内疚和批判自己的源頭,所以我覺得你需要繼續療愈自己,你也決定繼續。這是你送給自己的禮物,好好愛自己的表現!我們都很爲你高興,對我們也是一個鼓舞。

第二次談話:

Learn to heal  ourselves

你和孩子的衝突,如政治上的見解和立場產生的衝突,他的自我管理生活習慣令你的擔憂,你會發現:

大家都想被對方理解,明白,都有一種你不相信我, you don't care about me. 你不關心我. 這個限制性信念,背後和聲音是:想被愛,更多的愛,想被聆聽,被看到。被認同,

孩子在16、17嵗時,是成爲一個獨立個體,一個self  independent, looking  for self esteem, self recognition 的 關鍵時間。如果得不到父母的理解,( 不需要完全認同)會有很多的情緒困擾。

他現在渴望的是你的聆聽,理解,給他時間表達。

你做出一個榜樣:我有我的見解,你有你的看法,但我們都是愛對方的,我尊重你的看法,我的看法也不一定永遠是對的,你的也可能有你的道理。同時我也有我的道理。我們可以共存。

如果你認爲自己一定就是對的,你給他有處於高高在上的感覺,那就失去了信任和溝通的環境。

我也在這方面摸索,美國的政治兩黨鬥爭影響世界,所以,我孩子也有很多這方面的分享。

作爲孩子的媽媽,他想和我分享,一定有他的原因,背後我看到就很多自我價值感,需要被理解,也看到安全感的問題。

不要小看teenage,他們將有投票權,也會做出選擇,subconsciously 安全感和自我價值感,認同感的drive而已。這方面你可能需要深入探索。他在尋找WHO AM I?  Inner Security
Not just political arguments!
給與他機會去探索吧!他會成長的!放手吧!

當他説到 you don't care about me. 你會有委屈和frustrated。
這是正常的,可以理解的。

追溯到你的早期記憶,被老師和校長的訓話和責備,他們,甚至媽媽也不懂如何瞭解你内心深処的恐懼和擔心,這個記憶猶新的心理陰影,是你的傷痛,必須療愈它。

在這次經歷中,你小小的年紀,就有埋下了一些信念,遇到衝突,你不相信我, you don't care about me. 你不關心我!

這個受傷的孩子,孤單無助的情感,渴望被愛的情感,委屈又恐懼的情緒,一直沒有得到安撫。歷史也不會再來一次,我們可以做到的,就是成爲自己内在的父母,好在,潛意識不分過去和將來,只有當下:内在小孩得到内在父母的理解,認同和關注,就可以安頓下來,就有一棵聆聽自己的心,從而有聆聽別人的心。

我和你做了一些安撫内在小孩的部分,你也做自己的内在父母,和靜靜擁抱,安撫她,讓她説出當年的難言之苦 ( 沒有做功課,因爲你的失誤)。你説:此時此刻,你感覺舒服一些,放鬆一些,沒有那麽委屈了,但還是有些不相信...
内在,是沒有相信自己可以完全走出來。

這是你長期内在讀懂自己過去纍計的情緒的治療,需要你自己不斷去做。

你就會更加明白潛意識的運作真的好美,發揮自己的想象力,把童年内在創傷一個個修復好,真正走出情緒的牢籠。家庭溝通就會改善,更加好。

2

你目前的狀態

感覺早些時間自己有進步,狀態好了一些,但最近又開始多了和孩子Ben或daoghter 的擔心和焦慮,特別是大家有衝突,有差異的時候。

我完全明白你的心情,在如何看待白人和有色人種的問題是,生活質素上,孩子有自己的見解。

所以我當時給你的一些回應,也是今天我們涉及的探索,如何讓這一代的孩子明白自己的原生家庭,父母的艱辛,幸福來之不易,這是需要很好的環境,講給他聼。或者他自己來問你們。如果他有一天來訪問你們,你會好感動。相信會有這一天的來到。他會感受家人給他的更多愛。

同時,你也感受到Ben這個小兒子確實有同理心,這是他的quality,你也希望以後多多從他的角度去理解他的看法。也許,大家都有自己獨特的見解,從發點都是愛!

你家的問題,也是我家的。我們做父母的和孩子有不同的看法,我從你的個案,也想到如何和我的孩子又更多的討論,心平氣和,敞開心房,拿出來分享。最重要不是誰對誰錯,而是求同存異,互相理解,如果別人説的有道理,也可以幫助自己減少盲點,減少衝突點,找到更多共同點。愛的流動,就在建設性的溝通中。這是我們大家的目標!

在今天的話題中,你再次提到和Ben的差異和你的情緒狀態,其實,你已經成長很多。

因爲:

Here is some discussion on Ben's point of view which is different from you:

[24:33, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: And I said if you can choose not to use dad's resource if he think dad is privileged. I carried judgement and disdain towards him when I said those words

[24:37, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I thought about our interaction afterwards. Why do I get so uptight over it? Why do I always judge him so much. I could have said," Ben you have a big and sensitive heart and you feel for the disadvantaged ones. You see a lot of injustice in the world that you feel shouldn't be here. I know someday you will find a way to right the wrong. I am so proud of you."

[24:40, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I go to judgement and then  to correct/control instead of connecting with his underlying emotions.

[24:46, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: The fear energy is palpable and drives a lot of what I do and don't

[24:37, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I thought about our interaction afterwards. Why do I get so uptight over it? Why do I always judge him so much. I could have said," Ben you have a big and sensitive heart and you feel for the disadvantaged ones. You see a lot of injustice in the world that you feel shouldn't be here. I know someday you will find a way to right the wrong. I am so proud of you."

[24:40, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I go to judgement and then  to correct/control instead of connecting with his underlying emotions.

[24:46, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: The fear energy is palpable and drives a lot of what I do and don't

[12:58, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: No matter the media impact on the young generation or his own value system , 世界觀,價值觀 built from his childhood and teen time.. his intention is really kind to some extent - empathetic to the lower classes , people under the poverty line , and the disadvantaged ones.

[13:03, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: Ben has some issues to do in his life certainly, which is the reasons he is still exploring his inner world, pus him to be better. As he mentioned his Father's privileged statue, I  am more concern what he thinks to his own identity. How does he see himself , his father (Father's hard work and ability that he can see , not sure how he see his father effort ) .... When he grows up and supports himself, he will understand his family love bonding is always there.

[13:11, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: I can see your points. You can see from more angles. You are self made rich person as an Asian from zero penny to middle class. And you believe on yourself instead on outside factors. We share the same experiences... Probably our experiences give us some insights that Ben may not really hear before. You can share some family stories to let him know your early life and work... But need to be very careful as young guys may not want to be told. Tonality is the key and build proper communicative environment is also important. This is what I hope to do with you in the next stage. Communication Skill with Subconscious power.

[13:21, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: "And I said if you can choose not to use dad's resource if he think dad is privileged. I carried judgement and disdain towards him when I said those words"                 it might /would hurt him very much, as he would feel he was not respected and you had no confidence in him... probably.  I had many family cases because of parents like this. Take time to heal. Remember it's OK to be not OK at this moment to you and see you can talk with him in another way with some recognition word to him...

[17:55, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I know those words shamed him. I felt like he bit the hands that fed him.

[10:32, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: it's OK to be not OK ,

[10:34, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: Forgive self first , guilt is very damaging mentally and physically. I am thinking how to help


3 Inner child therapy, compassion therapy

The above issues drove us to find the root causes of your worry, anxiety towards kids behavior and attitude that is different from you. You can find your wording and the limited state is much like your dad which hurt you so much.

So that was the important part of today's section:

1) Self Affirmation Process - 建構內在父母,擁抱內在小孩

Here is the inner child guided meditation we did some.

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/03/self-affirmation-process.html

 You can do again for yourself to build a inner home and your inner parents, then to start the role play.

我看到你内在缺乏安全感,容易焦慮,對Ben在表達他的立場上有衝突,你會很煩,很擔心,這和爸爸當年對你被別人侮辱后的態度類似,我請你做靜靜 (受傷的内在小孩),我做你的媽媽,然後爸爸,他們是你現在渴望的爸爸媽媽。你聽到他們的難過,擔心的心情,你聽到他們和你道歉,你明白他們多一些,原諒他們多一些。我問你之後的感覺,你好坦白告訴我:靜靜明白父母多了,但她内心還很驚。我説:慢慢來,纍計的創傷,幾十年的壓抑,需要時間。

這是長期的反復去做的INNER CHILD THERAPY,但一定會一次次看到成長。於是,我問你:那麽靜靜想爸爸媽媽説些什麽,做些什麽,去幫助你得到你最需要的幫助。反問我:如果你是我的爸爸媽媽,你會如何做,我説出我的經驗,孩子三歲上學,轉校的原因,表達我對孩子的關愛。

那麽,如果我是靜靜的父母,我會要靜靜安靜下來,講給我聼聼整個過程,擁抱她,安撫她,給她精神上的支援和買她想要的衣服,保護她!

你補充的更詳細,於是,我們又來做一次:我做靜靜,你做媽媽,你講出自己埋藏心中幾十年的話,你要媽媽和你去找那個壞人,去報警。然後,你說的很透徹,“媽媽最想你可以安頓下來,明白家人的支持,你不再害怕了” ( 大概 approximately)

這幾次來回的做,明顯你got it. 你的能量提升了,你想起女兒21歲時的一次交通意外。你發現自己也是很惡,心急的閙女兒,表現你對她的擔心和焦慮,内在是投射出當年爸爸對你那種粗暴的方法去表達自己的擔心,你在投射這個陰影。這次的經歷,一定對她的心理有傷害。於是,我馬上叫你用你現在成長后的媽媽去安撫女兒的求救,你會説什麽。這個Role play, 你完全自己去做,請女兒做10次的深呼吸,安頓心,平靜才有智慧!

你説的非常道題和深刻,給女兒心理上的安慰和同理,正是她最需要的,我相信,因爲我真的好感動。

相信以後你處理這一類的溝通issues和事情,會有不同的做法,因爲你真的在磨練自己,在反思,你開始慢慢修煉自己,有更多的同理心對自己,就有慈悲心對孩子,對先生。你在拿出行動,去改變。

今天的最後總結:

Despite the disconnection occurred, we made it. You did well. Amazing. A profound healing process to connect with your inner world, to heal and empower your inner wound child. It is a step by step growing up journey. As you opened heart are ready to listen to your inner voice, you have become more empathetic and compassionate to yourself and in return, to your children. 🙏🙏❤️🥰💪🍷🧡

Please write some reflection for your today's section and use 

BE: 

DO : 

HAVE

Example:

Be:我是一個有同理心、包容和輕鬆自在的人,

我是一個通情達理,溫柔慈悲的媽媽和太太。

我是一個不斷學習、積極、渴望成爲更好的自己的Christine

聚焦這個願景圖,享受這個達標的快樂。

 

Do:爲了達到這個夢想,我要每天和自己做與情緒對話的冥想,改寫信念的冥想,平靜安頓的冥想,我宗教的冥想。我要在行動上給孩子做一個榜樣:

做一個有智慧的去愛孩子的媽媽,更加溫柔的太太,真正愛自己的人。

 

Have:我值得擁有愛的流動的家庭,值得擁有愛我的孩子。我已經擁有這樣的心態,我就會擁有這樣的情感,拿出愛的行動,我就會有這樣的夢想成真的現實!

 Sentience or any self affirmation sentences :

For example:

Before sleep, say to yourself:

[10:16, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: before sleeping, do breathing and self Affirmation in short minutes. very useful to have a quality sleep

[10:23, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: What do I affirm

[10:33, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: Say to yourself: I love you, I love my inner JINJIN. I love my Hubby, I love my sons and daughter...I am going to make more health improvement, including mental and body and soul...for myself, for my own well being, that is same for my dearest family.










我提到寬恕原諒,這是非常深沉次的課題,以後有機會討論:

請參考:

何謂真正的寬恕原諒?

真正的寬恕原諒,是在自己身上不在重複封閉式的、家長式的教育模式。拔去情緒按鈕,從自我療愈開始,從潛意識的熏陶、養成開放和諧的溝通能力開始!

有時,我們以為自己已做到了寬恕,包容,但内在孩子的創傷沒有修復,會轉移到另一個人身上,容易被外界的情緒、自我孤獨感、無助感的情緒糾纏。想真正的寬恕原諒、放下,我覺得,從自我療愈開始,從潛意識的熏陶、培養開放和諧的溝通能力開始。


真正的寬恕原諒,是在自己身上不在重複封閉式的、家長式的教育模式。拔去情緒按鈕,從自我療愈開始,從潛意識的熏陶、養成開放和諧的溝通能力開始!

有時,我們以為自己已做到了寬恕,包容,但内在孩子的創傷沒有修復,會轉移到另一個人身上,容易被外界的情緒、自我孤獨感、無助感的情緒糾纏。想真正的寬恕原諒、放下,我覺得,從自我療愈開始,從潛意識的熏陶、培養開放和諧的溝通能力開始。


今天和朋友做inner child therapy , compassion therapy.
朋友學習安撫自己内在的孩子,寬恕父母,原諒自己,多了内在安全感,也多了一些解決自己自身問題的能力,他發現:童年心理創傷,帶來負面的信念和價值觀,封閉式的溝通模式。影響今天關係,也影響到生命的各個層面。
做完後,我請他回到自己給孩子帶來的創傷上,去安撫自己的孩子,做一個理想的父母,慈悲同理心的父母。朋友做到了,做的非常好!
内在孩子得到療愈,潛意識力量就得以發揮!面對自己的挑戰,更有力量!
我真的好開心,好感動呢。
我深深感到:
https://www.facebook.com/donnawinter2000/posts/10221065268206841



[19:28, 3/18/2022] Donna Wong: 今天和您做inner child therapy , compassion therapy.
您 學習安撫自己内在的孩子,寬恕父母,原諒自己,多了内在安全感,内在的平靜和安頓,也多了對自己和父母的慈悲心,同理心。多了一些解決自己自身問題的能力。 我們發現:童年心理創傷,帶來負面的信念和價值觀,封閉式的溝通模式,影響今天關係,也影響到生命的各個層面。 做完後,我請你回到自己給女兒帶來的創傷上,去安撫自己的孩女兒,做一個理想的父母,慈悲同理心的父母。你做到了,做的非常好!非常深刻!So profound!
内在孩子得到療愈,潛意識力量就得以發揮!面對自己的挑戰,更有力量! 真的為你 開心. 你的成長,也感動我,給我力量!🙏🙌🥰❤️🌈🍷
[23:57, 3/18/2022] Donna Wong: 今天,我的《擁抱內在小孩冥想》,帶你進入自己內心世界,自己內在的家,安撫和接納受傷的內在小孩,讓她得到溫暖和理解,得到安慰和支持。
內在小孩得到內在父母的擁抱,情緒創傷得到療愈,身心得以安頓,情緒就會平穩好多,減少投射。解決問題的智慧和內在的潛能就容易發揮出來。 看回當下面對的課題,角度不同,心態不同,信念也會在改寫,自信心、自我價值感也會慢慢增強。 這個練習不是一次就可以清除過去所有的負面情緒,也不可能一次療愈幾十年纍計的創傷,這是一生的練習。 學到這個方法,可以幫助自己,隨時回到自己內在的家,和自己的情緒對話,自我轉化情緒,內在小孩的療愈,是根源治療法。 內在小孩治療過程,是自我療愈潛能綻放的過程。 [23:58, 3/18/2022] Donna Wong: 你可以用這個夢想帶自己進入潛意識,常常自己做,self affirmation process

Section 2




How to deal with vulnerability, fear and shame


Dear Christine

Tomorrow we will have the second section. 
I can see the awareness of your vulnerability and acceptance of your true self increases gradually time by time.
This quote shows your determination to deep heal your inner child trauma, to let go by learning from your life experiences,  to make a new perception, positive, constructive understanding over past stories , create new belief in your subconscious mind. 
Yes, we are on progress to get our inner self more resilient from vulnerability , more open-mindedness from limited behavior and attitudes. 
We  are encouraged by your progress and your determination.
We really appreciated, and are grateful.🙏❤️🌈🧘‍♀️

From this quote to get into her inner world.
why did she sent this to me?
what she thought when she read it?

The talk involved before the quote was I sent Brene's talk and quote to her.

her son ranked and yelled for mom to be nicer to him.
She was angry and didn't want to baby him.

I saw Ben's calling for love and wish her mom to be warmer , softer to him and listened to him, concern to him. Then I send her reflection to me:

[19:02, 3/24/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My youngest brother went off the deep end. When he was in his early twenties, he hasn't shown any history of honesty and hard work. My dad based on some false hopes sent him off to Canada to be with my sisters who were also struggling. They haven't developed habits of good mental health so failure is sort of predictable [19:03, 3/24/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: And thighs were given to him without much effort. While I had to leave home and worked two jobs while going to school. There is something to say about earning things that you get [19:03, 3/24/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I want my son to learn that [20:08, 3/24/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My son ranted and raved at me and said," I just wish you were nicer. It is not that hard being nice." This is because he bumped himself at the stair's railing and said,"ouch it hurts." and I said," it is ok. Just brush it off. It's no big deal." It was a bump. How can I teach him to be stronger. He is 17 and he is a boy. I can't baby him anymore can I? [20:09, 3/24/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: After things* we're given him [23:20, 3/24/2022] Donna Wong: Quite some young generation are offered with too much materials to get it for granted since they were born. [23:23, 3/24/2022] Donna Wong: But I am not sure your way is suitable for him, or is b=best to him if he is really hoping to go [23:25, 3/24/2022] Donna Wong: I mean to make a change in this way may not work, the core issue may not just what you think such straightforward [23:28, 3/24/2022] Donna Wong: I saw lots of additional new traumatic impact due to unhappy relationship [23:31, 3/24/2022] Donna Wong: i really hope you can build a better relationship with Ben, this is why you are here and u are trying so hard o learn. I really appreciated [23:34, 3/24/2022] Donna Wong: i will read and response your messages tmw. keep sharing, I go to shower first. [12:11, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: Looks he is calling for your concern and love, like a baby crying for moms' attention. All those behavior is only a superficial 表面的,表層的. he is desperate for love , love deficiency inside his subconscious mind. This is not something with age, 85 year old grandmother is also crying for this, from my mom's rage and yelling , when she loses temper., getting easily when getting aging with dementia symptom to come [12:13, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: I deeply feel for her emotion messages behind her surface emotion. Just for your reference. [12:16, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: IN subconscious mind, we are all the same 在潛意識的大同世界,我們都一樣。這是我每天都看到的現象和得出的信息。we have go to the root , we can go to our inner home. [23:02, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: The next section is Monday Night 9pm your time 28th. OK? Need to confirm ? [23:02, 3/25/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Yes [23:03, 3/25/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Your observations on my son is deep. I didn't see it as cry for help.
[23:32, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: ead this article of mine ( much content from the course ) and you can get more understanding about core psyche behind emotion. and try to build empathy towards your inner child, then u will have more empathy to others like Ben ... [23:32, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/06/blog-post_16.html [23:33, 3/25/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I already read that twice [23:35, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: use it to analyze in a real case [23:38, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: my favorite quote [23:39, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: soft power 軟實力,溫柔些 [23:40, 3/25/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Wow [23:58, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: I will tell you a true story next time about a young girl suffering from ADD and depression and her family situation [23:58, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: family support is crucial [23:58, 3/25/2022] Donna Wong: good day [24:04, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Ok. Good night [07:09, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Donna how do I get deeper into the inner world so I would know how to nurture my children [07:10, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My daughter likes this guy who has paid her some attention but he mentioned several times to him that he goes out with other girl. She feels insecure about it and I don't know what to say to help her. I started giving her advice and she gets upset [07:12, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: How do I get this special power? What are the steps [07:35, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Mentioned several times to her* [11:45, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: Got it. You are actually on the way to know your inner world, you know people's inner world. But to change our belief, attitude and habit in our behavior , communication habit, that is long term healing and mindful nurturing process, to nature our inner self to love ourselves in a different way, at least different from what we did that made things worse or not effective. [11:49, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: you can ask such deep question. I was amazed. And this is your awareness , your change and progress 覺察力和執行力在提升! Trust yourself, you can make it ! The first day I said this to you and you need to say this as your self hypnosis to become inner voice. [11:52, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3Ds6oNPZ-k [11:52, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: 好多節目 [11:52, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: 我看了不少 [11:53, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: sorry, wrongly sent [11:53, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: a friend from SFC talked to me about the negative impact of the Vaccines [11:54, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: so i shared some info i know [11:54, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I am very anti vaccine [11:55, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: you are critical thinker, i love your this character [11:55, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I actually had some experience of feeling profound peace several times in my life. I just could nt stay there for longer than a few months [11:56, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Thanks [12:01, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: yeah, you have all resources to stay in peace and you had such wonderful exp. Just to get the potential back .The first thing is you trust peace and love can help you. [12:01, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Covid 19 has an hideous agenda. It is a crime against humanity. I hope you realize it. It can easily be dealt with using ivermectin but they pushed vaccine and mask. I [12:12, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: lots of good remedies were overlooked or repressed by [12:14, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Media never mentioned anything about healthy eating and exercise. They don't talk about taking natural supplements. Everything is about taking vaccine so pharmaceutical companies can get rich and mandate to take away our freedom [12:15, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: exactly [12:15, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: i put lots effect to promote on natural immunity promotion , i agreed with u [12:24, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: The silencing and censoring of certain scientist. It has never happened in America. It is quite scary. We have many who are never suspicious of mainstream media [12:24, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: They are so bad. Pathological liars [12:26, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: This is a media control world. To learn to be our own life master is not easy but essential [12:27, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: My son is my teacher in this way. and you also [12:28, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Is he a "conspiracy theorist?" [12:28, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Hehehe, it is an honor to be called such these days [12:29, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: They used that term to smear us rebels and truth seekers [12:30, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: sort of , kind of [12:32, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: There is a conspiracy going on. They are the liars who called others" liars. 我想整死衰人° [12:36, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I need to do this [12:38, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Going back to bed now [12:39, 3/26/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: "Sit inside your own pain" that's the practice [12:39, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: good sleep, relaxing mode now [13:07, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: you got it. This is great , make our healing process much in alignment with our inner high self [15:13, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: to sit inside our pain, to turn our vulnerability, dark shadow into life transformation. that is what you want and we are doing together. 從不完美到完美,最重要是完整自己 [15:19, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: will go to details and discuss more. It is understandable as as a mom and also I understand our children's mind to some extent, after many case study in love and relationship [15:51, 3/26/2022] Donna Wong: some ideas about 2nd section 👆

____

[12:43, 3/21/2022] Donna Wong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-_ExtpWL20 這個方法是自我轉化情緒的深度療愈,也可以非常生活化的心靈滋潤,我把它作爲自己routine,每當有自我批判,作爲否定,或任何不安的情緒( 這就是我們的内在小孩,或我們的陰影,甚至是我們的人格的一部分),學習和它對話,聆聽它背後的訴求和價值,情緒的信息,情緒就會悄然離去。因爲我接納了自己的不完美,也接納別人的不完美,我就多了選擇,也是找到解決問題的方法的過程。 我很喜歡說:平靜出智慧,你的名字,就是父母的渴望,他們暗示你的潛意識很有智慧,對嗎? 而你的人生也確實證明給自己:you can be a miracle if you want. So, 你的routing plan裏,建議放入這個item,愛自己,從接納自己開始,從self affirmation, self reelection 開始。 這也是我下一次想深入討論的 mental part,做一個愛好自己的routine plan, a process to learn to love ourselves. I believe, without acceptance of ourselves, our ambition is only the castles in the air. [12:48, 3/21/2022] Donna Wong: Good sleep, relax , deep breath, a bit light stretching in bed... good night for u [12:49, 3/21/2022] Donna Wong: 作爲否定: correction to 自我否定 [01:42, 3/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: As I get still I notice a tremendous amount of guilt and shame in my body. Growing up I used to live to please my parents and it is not that I feel I wasn't enough I wasn't taught the skills of how to. So part of the self parenting is to teach myself the skills of how to learn. Learning that requires more than memorization. [01:45, 3/22/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Things I like to have in my daily routine include daily prayer/meditation, setting goals, yoga, lifting weight, aerobic exercise like cycling, study candlestick pattern, scripture reading. Then I want to look at the house and make a list of home improvement projects and also learn more about nutrition

____

[21:44, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I have about 25 pounds to lose. For being an American now
[21:45, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I lost my weight after my first two kids but not after my last. I was almost 45 when I had him. Age just makes it harder
[21:45, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Now I am more concerned about health than weight or look
——----——————————
Praise therapy

 讚美療愈法 Praise Therapy ( 2) 

praise yourself and Ben and husband' and Emily

mental:

worry for Daughter
Son issues
and her empathy compassion

story of people

Chan lai hua, Suk yi: parents support
Diabetes: child hood trauma impact
Sue lose weight by dream therapy

無條件的愛是

Create good Habit plan
sleep
nutrition
cooking
exercises

homework 寫出愛自己的不同方面和原因,强化計劃的執行力

當我開始愛自己
……
30 3 3 2022
[3/30, 12:00] Donna Wong: great 👍 you have done it. We had a wonderful exploration and self refection
[3/30, 12:05] Donna Wong: some things you can do
1
please share your learning from other media so that I know your thinking,  progress...
2
Please send some family photos to the groups so that we have more perceptual understanding sensibility感性上認識
[3/30, 12:05] Donna Wong: I will send my family photos as well.
[3/30, 12:08] Donna Wong: 3
please read this article again.  The better you know our subconscious mind mechanism, also your husband and Ben know it, the better communication with Love ❤️ to be seen
[3/30, 12:12] Donna Wong: 4
next time, if Ben asks for your attention,  please be soft, warm and nice a little bit. You just do it for a breakthrough of yourself. 讓他感受他童年失去的❤,他的潛意識早已用行動說出他的渴望,他想和你,和爸爸有情感連結,用他喜歡的方式。
[3/30, 12:23] Donna Wong: 5
please turn off Tel during sleep. Don't read any messages during the sleeping time. It will seriously affect your sleep hormone like melatonin ... 
This is better to put your routine plan about 
Habit change.
[3/30, 12:37] Donna Wong: 6
Find any harmful habit you desperately want to sabotage. Please put into habit change categories in the routine plan.
[3/30, 13:11] Donna Wong: Summary:
[3/30, 13:14] Donna Wong: You have done excellent job!  I have to say that every time I see you, I find you are making micro and different changes, form subconscious to conscious. We also cover :

1

In communication: you can think over and make a different approach to Ben and listen to his point of view in a more calm , patient way, despite you are still feeling repressed,  uncomfortable sometimes as y. That is why you are improving. 

2

You know your helping mindset has your onw emotions , belief and attitude to life, that may not let people feel your love but some limiting states like guilt, shame, anger , insecurity and insufficient love and over perfectionism...

That is the AWRENESS

THEN today we also discussed we have choice.

open mind to get information from your kids 

be nicer to kids and be nicer to yourself

think over the articles and if we use conditional love, the vicious cycle is just running and will damage our children and self repeatedly.

... you name it.

Ill helping mind is conditional love, somewhat from our original family enclosed communication model!

We really need to get rid of it in our life. Slowly, be patient to ourselves, be nice to ourselves, Our kids can feel it and give their love with the same way to themselves and to our parents.  

Ben, good boy, sensitive boy, he can have his life to excel his talent and dreams. Our parents the only thing to do is to fully support him to develop his identity, self esteem and potential, creativity, without judgments, and discourage....

Next time, please ask him his dreams and gradually he can tell you no matter big or small. I will practice with you later how in a more comfortable way.

Also practice how to have some conversations which other really like but you don't like much or whatever.  From them, you get more understanding from each others, And get your ideas across, both can.                                                     Others points, I will add in when I think about or when I have more discover from our section.
[3/30, 13:21] Donna Wong: 帶著條件和期望去付出
孩子感受的可能是壓力和交換,
是限制,有情緒和雜念。

家庭,夫妻、伴侶關係也一樣,
涉及情感勒索,
就完全沒有愛的感覺了。

以下好文章,透徹地導出了
什麽是有條件的愛和後果;
如何在衝突中仍可以送給別人無條件的愛?

如何做到真正的去愛?
讓別人感受到愛?學到愛?
愛的心甘情願,沒有委屈,也不傷害別人?https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/03/blog-post_24.html
[3/30, 13:24] Donna Wong: 韓國朋友給我的一課: https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/07/blog-post_16.html including all we just discussed, Five love languages and beyond. Enjoy reading it and waiting for your feedback
[3/30, 13:28] Donna Wong: Slowly everyday you can read some and no hurry. But consistently. This is your mental exercise in your routine plan. Your routine plan has already started from the first day you found us.  Give yourself big applause. Self affirmation, every day

Summary
今天我們學習的重點:當我們帶著條件去愛,帶來限制性的信念和態度去愛,會帶來什麽後果,也是我們童年陰影的源頭,窮一身去治療這些童年陰影。我們現代的家長,需要好留意,否則會給後代循環性創傷問題,原生家庭的問題就會一代傳一代。所以title:用一生去治愈童年, 就是這個意思。你問我要多久可以走出來,真的可以是一生的功課,我們要學習的就是做自我療愈,陪伴自己,走過人生高高低低,接納自己的一切 ,( 便有能力聆聽和接納別人) 身心安頓去面對每一個生命的過程。這個過程真的不簡單,不可以是短時間可以完成,那是完美主義的極端位。爲什麽這麽説?因爲我的個案從小孩子到80 90 嵗,問題都可以好類似,self esteem issues and how to see fear. 來到人生每一個階段,都有好多不懂,要學,同時不多不少也會暴露出一生中纍計的創傷導致的問題,影響我們人生的每一個階段的決定和幸福。但有的人可以早些有心理準備去面對,有的人選擇逃避,所以就算如何修行,都有好多要學習,每個人都要面對生老病死,又是一個新的課題,最大的挑戰。共勉。