Monday, February 14, 2022

Christine case - belief change

  

[03:09, 2/8/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I need some help exploring my limiting beliefs. I have quote a few friends whose children are getting married and are doing well. I am happy for them and I have been tortured by a lot of regrets and shame as I remind myself I am respond for my kids' struggle. I want to examine my beliefs and change my outlook

[11:34, 2/8/2022] Donna Wong: Great, i just wanted to know your updated situations and deep down to your subconscious mind. You said well and exactly what I want to make the course for you - to talk with our inner self to find our corn emotions. Because: 傷害我們的不是事件本身,也不是情緒本身,而是我們對事件的演繹。爲什麽會有這樣的演繹呢?更深層地是我們纍計的創傷導致的限制性的attitudes,belief,and habitual behaviors. It can be bit by bit to healing the wounded heart from childhood to adulthood  and to turn emotion to life transformation. You need to have confidence in your self to make a change subconsciously  ( this is the key belief now you need to build )  and then you are making huge progress in a period of time.

[11:42, 2/8/2022] Donna Wong: I ran a successful workshop called " 與情緒對話“, it is the origin of the course ( 與情緒創傷說再見)Part of this course is based on my personal experience how to talk with our inner child - emotions and I applied ABCDE concept as well frequently in my self healing, workshop and individual therapeutical courses.

[11:46, 2/8/2022] Donna Wong: I can. Let's meet at 8pm HK time on ZOOM. I will send a link  in the afternoon on the 11th.

[12:27, 2/8/2022] Donna Wong: I am very happy to see your inner self start to be motivated to make a further change. I can see you desperate desire to make a change.  ❤️❤️👏👏👍👍🌈🌈


[22:32, 2/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: It is interesting. I have known the concepts he brought up but the way he delivered it helped me to see my challenges in a different light. I need  faith, surrender and courage and it is painful process and I still resist. It is all habits. Habits of disbelief, habits of not believing I deserve...etc

[22:33, 2/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: TO be do have is very useful too. I think I often skip the be part to want to have the 成果 before giving time


情緒本身只是反應内在的狀態,正如惡夢和疾病,越不理會它,不接納它,就越會有反彈效應,自己和別人都會越受傷。相反,善用它,理解它,就會身心安頓,把自己愛回來,智慧自然來。


看見情緒背後的意義和價值,就看可以看到爲什麽會有這樣的信念,這個信念有什麽好處,有什麽害處。同時如何善用它的好處,修正它的害處。改寫信念。我們一起來探索。



Be-Do-Have 相信自己做的到!

1、以「我已經是」的狀態,透過身體五感,觀想最美麗願景。 2、聚焦願景圖,享受達標的快樂。 3、問「我需要持續做甚麼,讓自己達標?」行動必須清晰、具體、有時間表。 4、與信任的人分享。 5、將願景圖寫成一句話,放在當眼處,不斷強化「我已經是」的狀態。

Christine 15 2 2022

今天,我們一起經歷了感受感受,解讀情緒,覺察信念,改寫信念,轉化生命的心靈旅程。
用一些生活中的實列,解讀自己和孩子的情緒,對自己多了反思,對兒子多了理解...

真的由心爲你開心,您看到一個更有生命敏感度的自己!

Christine

其實有生命敏感度的自己,她一直在哪裏,在心中,當你回到了自己的内在的家,她就在家中等你。渴望看到美麗的自己,有同理心、慈悲心的自己,有能力感受別人的感受的自己,源於開始對自己也有一份包容和理解。把對自己的尺度放鬆一些,就開拓就會,對別人也理解多一些, 對自己的尺度也放鬆一些,to love to set free, 學習放手。

你做得到,你已經開始有這樣的決心和意願,也看到這樣做帶來的互相信任和協的溝通,是你内心的渴望。你開始學習跨越焦慮,放輕自己的信念,delay自己的期望和要求,嘗試從別人的角度看事物,感受別人的感受。嘗試用心去溝通,用新的方法去嘗試,令別人舒服的方式去合作,一起解決問題。因爲你感受如果堅持自己限制性的信念,別人只會更加抗拒,受到傷害,自己會受傷害。enough is enough, you are experiencing to be more aware, be more acceptable to yourself and others and be changing your limited believes and improve your execution power.

On the way, you will find your life motivation, missions and be more self driven to live a free, powerful self. 

最後我請你總結了三個方面,今天的發現,自己的提升:你説:
開始感受自己的和感受,感受別人的感受,學習設身處地,換位思考,帶入別人的需要去看問題
更多從正面去看待孩子,看到更多孩子的潛能、美麗特質和能力
開始學習面對自己的焦慮,縮短焦慮的時間,delay自己的期望和對別人的要求

是的
内心的强大,源於慈悲和同理心,特別是對自己。

我覺得你從今天開始,潛意識上會有更大的覺知。正如我之前對你有這樣的信心:也是我們的信念,支持我去陪伴你。

我的信念:

傷害我們的不是事件本身,也不是情緒本身,而是我們對事件的演繹。
纍計的創傷導致的限制性的attitudes,belief,and habitual behaviors. It can be bit by bit to healing the wounded heart from childhood to adulthood  and to turn emotion to life transformation. 

感恩的是,我從中,幾乎每一個句話,每一個事情的態度和方法,也是我和自己的話:
我要和自己、孩子、先生提升心靈連結。好多學習。

Christine,你給我好多inspiration和ideas,我好要努力。

Thank you.
I love you. 

Donna

You need to have confidence in your self to make a change subconsciously  ( this is the key belief now you need to build )  and then you are making huge progress in a period of time.



可以每天找一個時間,靜靜地和自己講:

Be:我是一個有同理心、包容和輕鬆自在的人,
我是一個通情達理,溫柔慈悲的媽媽和太太。
我是一個不斷學習、積極、渴望成爲更好的自己的Christine
聚焦這個願景圖,享受這個達標的快樂。

Do:爲了達到這個夢想,我要每天和自己做與情緒對話的冥想,改寫信念的冥想,平靜安頓的冥想,我宗教的冥想。我要在行動上給孩子做一個榜樣:
做一個有智慧的去愛孩子的媽媽,更加溫柔的太太,真正愛自己的人。

Have:我值得擁有愛的流動的家庭,值得擁有愛我的孩子。我已經擁有這樣的心態,我就會擁有這樣的情感,拿出愛的行動,我就會有這樣的夢想成真的現實!


讓信念泉水流進心靈深處 



15 2 2022

今天的個案,如何改寫信念,轉化生命?

昨天晚上,我和自己做了一個冥想,然後就安心去睡。

今天早上,我和個案朋友說:來,我們一起做個冥想,内容是回到自己内在的家,感受自己的感受,別人的感受,激發慈悲心,compassion,感受一旦轉化,情緒的到釋放,得到解讀,信念就開始重寫,生命轉化就靜靜的開始。

做之前,我問她,最近身體如何?心情如何?她説,前一段時間好一些,最近又容易焦慮緊張,很多擔心,周身酸痛,有時肚子痛,心不舒服。特別是和孩子有衝突時候。

做了冥想,我問她,在剛剛那7、8分鐘裏,你的身體出現什麽變化?感覺如何?有什麽思緒?

她面部露出一絲輕鬆愉快的笑容,說:肩膀松了一些,沒有那麽緊張了。感覺好多思緒出來,好像可以走出焦慮,好想自己可以沒有那麽衝動,好想孩子可以打開心扉,和我交談,我到底如何才可以成爲一個你心中的好媽媽?令我沒有那麽自咎,自責和羞愧?

我非常欣慰,聽到朋友開始回歸内在,去看自己!而且我非常贊揚朋友的謙卑,把自己和孩子的地位拉平一些,大家的心態都走在一起,爲了建立一個開放和正念的溝通渠道,讓愛得到流動。

通過上幾次heart to heart 交談,我也一直感到她對孩子的要求和自己的要求一樣高,當孩子不跟她的旨意,就會非常恐懼,抗拒,因爲她的信念裏,我做得到的,爲什麽你做不到?我認爲是對的,你如果不跟,就會產生很多問題,甚至失敗。内心是:我不能接受的。這些,就是她的限制性的信念一部分。

結果是,我爲你好,給孩子巨大壓力和反感,之間無數的爭拗和冷戰,大家都成爲了受害者和加害者。不論媽媽講什麽,要孩子做什麽,都可能成爲反擊的狀態。大家都陷入情緒困擾中。

朋友的内疚不由自主出來了:我沒有用,搞到孩子情緒低落,不懂溝通;I am not good, or I am not good enough. 另一邊,又不斷指責孩子不負, 不求上進, 不去做大部分17嵗的人應該做的事情。

所以,我和她分析,這裏出現兩種限制性的信念:

對自己:I am shameful, i am not good mom, I have guilt.
我是對的,你要聼我!
這導致的鏡面效應是:
孩子也會覺得媽媽認爲我做不到她的要求,就是不對的!媽媽對我不信任,覺得我沒用。

過程中,我和個案一起去感受重複出現的情緒背後到底在説什麽!爲什麽受害者終歸是加害者。

情緒發生時出現的核心情緒是内疚。爲什麽會有内疚?

從童年開始,從不敢去反駁父母。因爲一次小小的反駁,帶來鞭子的痛苦,肉體的痛,可能導致深深的情緒創傷。於是,用另一種保護機制,就是要服從,要做到父母心中最好的那個,以免再次令爸爸不開心,情緒爆發!

Facebook for myself:

今天的個案,如何改寫信念,轉化生命?

昨天晚上,我和自己做了一個冥想,然後就安心去睡。

今天早上,我和個案朋友說:來,我們一起做個冥想,内容是回到自己内在的家,感受自己的感受,別人的感受,激發慈悲心,compassion,感受一旦轉化,情緒的到釋放,得到解讀,信念就開始重寫,生命轉化就靜靜的開始。

做之前,我問她,最近身體如何?心情如何?她説,前一段時間好一些,最近又容易焦慮緊張,很多擔心,周身酸痛,有時肚子痛,心不舒服。特別是和孩子有衝突時候。

做了冥想,我問她,在剛剛那7、8分鐘裏,你的身體出現什麽變化?感覺如何?有什麽思緒?

她面部露出一絲輕鬆愉快的笑容,說:肩膀松了一些,沒有那麽緊張了。感覺好多思緒出來,好像可以走出焦慮,好想自己可以沒有那麽衝動,好想孩子可以打開心扉,和我交談,我到底如何才可以成爲一個你心中的好媽媽?令我沒有那麽自咎,自責和羞愧?

我非常欣慰,聽到朋友開始回歸内在,去看自己!而且我非常贊揚朋友的謙卑,把自己和孩子的地位拉平一些,大家的心態都走在一起,爲了建立一個開放和正念的溝通渠道,讓愛得到流動。

通過上幾次heart to heart 交談,我也一直感到她對孩子的要求和自己的要求一樣高,當孩子不跟她的旨意,就會非常恐懼,抗拒,因爲她的信念裏,我做得到的,爲什麽你做不到?我認爲是對的,你如果不跟,就會產生很多問題,甚至失敗。内心是:我不能接受的。這些,就是她的限制性的信念一部分。

結果是,我爲你好,給孩子巨大壓力和反感,之間無數的爭拗和冷戰,大家都成爲了受害者和加害者。不論媽媽講什麽,要孩子做什麽,都可能成爲反擊的狀態。大家都陷入情緒困擾中。

朋友的内疚不由自主出來了:我沒有用,搞到孩子情緒低落,不懂溝通;I am not good, or I am not good enough. 另一邊,又不斷指責孩子不負, 不求上進, 不去做大部分17嵗的人應該做的事情。

所以,我和她分析,這裏出現兩種限制性的信念:

對自己:I am shameful, i am not good mom, I have guilt.
我是對的,你要聼我!
這導致的鏡面效應是:
孩子也會覺得媽媽認爲我做不到她的要求,就是不對的!媽媽對我不信任,覺得我沒用。

過程中,我和個案一起去感受重複出現的情緒背後到底在説什麽!爲什麽受害者終歸是加害者。

情緒發生時出現的核心情緒是内疚。爲什麽會有内疚?

從童年開始,從不敢去反駁父母。因爲一次小小的反駁,帶來鞭子的痛苦,肉體的痛,可能導致深深的情緒創傷。於是,用另一種保護機制,就是要服從,要做到父母心中最好的孩子,以免再次令爸爸不開心,情緒爆發!

不知不覺,成爲自己的信念,我必須做到最好,不允許自己犯錯,否則,我會有内疚和痛苦。但越是害怕犯錯,就越焦慮,就越容易投射情緒,導致關係受傷害。這是第三個信念。

感受感受,個案漸漸看到自己限制性的信念源於自己童年的不愉快的經歷,過去了,我還活在過去。

我和個案說:

Christine

今天,我們一起經歷了感受感受,解讀情緒,覺察信念,改寫信念,轉化生命的心靈旅程。
用一些生活中的實列,解讀自己和孩子的情緒,對自己多了反思,對兒子多了理解...

真的由心爲你開心,您看到一個更有生命敏感度的自己!

Christine

其實有生命敏感度的自己,她一直在哪裏,在心中,當你回到了自己的内在的家,她就在家中等你。渴望看到美麗的自己,有同理心、慈悲心的自己,有能力感受別人的感受的自己,源於開始對自己也有一份包容和理解。把對自己的尺度放鬆一些,就開拓了機會給自己去對別人也理解多一些, 對自己的尺度也放鬆一些,to love to set free, 學習放手。

你做得到,你已經開始有這樣的決心和意願,也看到這樣做帶來的互相信任和協的溝通,是你内心的渴望。你開始學習跨越焦慮,放輕自己的信念,delay自己的期望和要求,嘗試從別人的角度看事物,感受別人的感受。嘗試用心去溝通,用新的方法去嘗試,令別人舒服的方式去合作,一起解決問題。因爲你感受如果堅持自己限制性的信念,別人只會更加抗拒,受到傷害,自己會受傷害。enough is enough, you are experiencing to be more aware, be more acceptable to yourself and others and be changing your limited believes and improve your execution power.

On the way, you will find your life motivation, missions and be more self driven to live a free, powerful self.

内心的强大,源於慈悲和同理心,特別是對自己。

我覺得你從今天開始,潛意識上會有更大的覺知。正如我之前對你有這樣的信心:也是我們的信念,支持我去陪伴你。

我的信念:

傷害我們的不是事件本身,也不是情緒本身,而是我們對事件的演繹。
纍計的創傷導致的限制性的attitudes,belief,and habitual behaviors. It can be bit by bit to healing the wounded heart from childhood to adulthood and to turn emotion to life transformation.

感恩的是,我從中,幾乎每一個句話,每一個事情的態度和方法,也是我和自己的話:
我要和自己、孩子、先生提升心靈連結。好多學習。

Christine,你給我好多inspiration和ideas,我要努力。

Thank you.
I love you.

Donna❤️🙏🌈👍

我的反思:

[11:23, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 令我非常有興趣去深入探索這個個案,其中一個重要原因是她的早年的信念和完美主義都和我媽媽非常類似,都在非常不愉快的家庭長大,都用自己學習成績,Number 1 去令父母開心,但父母沒有因爲他們的努力而得到贊美,還是分離,或給他們之間的暴力帶來極大的創傷。兩個人的意識、表面上上沒有對父母任何不滿,但潛意識卻投射出愛的匱乏,無力無助,孤獨的心態,特別是遇到衝突,與自己的意見很不一樣,或大的挑戰時。也給我好多提醒。不停提醒自己接納媽媽吧,不期望她可以在高齡還學習什麽,改變信念。                               這位朋友真的難得,情緒病已經折磨她大半生,看了好多心理專家和醫生,感覺疲累了,厭倦了,但這次還是來嘗試下。 [11:35, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 我媽媽說,她是集家人的寵愛于一身,所有老人家和她的父母都對她很愛,物質上。父母從來不打她,對於30年代的家庭,真的不容易,但她在童年已經有depression。這也是Eugene的情況。因爲我和先生不懂得溝通,常常爲了Eugene的病而爭拗,我自己也有焦慮,給孩子留下深深的洛印,童年創傷。以前我好内疚,現在會覺得,内疚也沒有,我也會犯錯,就要放過自己,從錯誤中學習。

最近的個案,我再次得到這個感覺:
潛意識裏,不是表面是去可理解,就會發現:別人的故事,其實也是我們自己的一部分,每次都是很好的教材。   
也給我帶來反思,檢視自己:
孩子幼年時,因爲我和先生不懂得溝通,爲了孩子的病而爭拗,我睡的不好,長期失眠,產生焦慮,先生也有焦慮和工作壓力,常常在孩子面前,大家把壓力和情緒都投射出來,給孩子留下深深的洛印,童年創傷。
以前我好内疚沒有給他一個愉快的童年,現在在改變:内疚也沒有,只會對自己有害,對家人也有害,内疚的情緒會帶出抱怨和指責。              
我們家長也會犯錯,向孩子表白和道歉,就放過自己吧,從錯誤中學習。生命就是在嘗試中進步。 
所以我爲什麽那麽注意學習正念心理學,每天都學習和做練習,做個案就是非常好的方法提升心理質素。每一句話,都是自我療愈,all coaching is sef coaching.
正念心理學可以幫助我們找到問題源頭,提升心理和生理上的免疫力。提升心理質素,自我轉化情緒,幸福就在身邊,就在心閒。



Learn to heal  ourselves

你和孩子的衝突,如政治上的見解和立場產生的衝突,他的自我管理生活習慣令你的擔憂,你會發現:

大家都想被對方理解,明白,都有一種你不相信我, you don't care about me. 你不關心我. 這個限制性信念,背後和聲音是:想被愛,更多的愛,想被聆聽,被看到。被認同,

孩子在16、17嵗時,是成爲一個獨立個體,一個self  independent, looking  for self esteem, self recognition 的 關鍵時間。如果得不到父母的理解,( 不需要完全認同)會有很多的情緒困擾。

他現在渴望的是你的聆聽,理解,給他時間表達。

你做出一個榜樣:我有我的見解,你有你的看法,但我們都是愛對方的,我尊重你的看法,我的看法也不一定永遠是對的,你的也可能有你的道理。同時我也有我的道理。我們可以共存。

如果你認爲自己一定就是對的,你給他有處於高高在上的感覺,那就失去了信任和溝通的環境。

我也在這方面摸索,美國的政治兩黨鬥爭影響世界,所以,我孩子也有很多這方面的分享。

作爲孩子的媽媽,他想和我分享,一定有他的原因,背後我看到就很多自我價值感,需要被理解,也看到安全感的問題。

不要小看teenage,他們將有投票權,也會做出選擇,subconsciously 安全感和自我價值感,認同感的drive而已。這方面你可能需要深入探索。他在尋找WHO AM I?  Inner Security
Not just political arguments!
給與他機會去探索吧!他會成長的!放手吧!

當他説到 you don't care about me. 你會有委屈和frustrated。
這是正常的,可以理解的。

追溯到你的早期記憶,被老師和校長的訓話和責備,他們,甚至媽媽也不懂如何瞭解你内心深処的恐懼和擔心,這個記憶猶新的心理陰影,是你的傷痛,必須療愈它。

在這次經歷中,你小小的年紀,就有埋下了一些信念,遇到衝突,你不相信我, you don't care about me. 你不關心我!

這個受傷的孩子,孤單無助的情感,渴望被愛的情感,委屈又恐懼的情緒,一直沒有得到安撫。歷史也不會再來一次,我們可以做到的,就是成爲自己内在的父母,好在,潛意識不分過去和將來,只有當下:内在小孩得到内在父母的理解,認同和關注,就可以安頓下來,就有一棵聆聽自己的心,從而有聆聽別人的心。

我和你做了一些安撫内在小孩的部分,你也做自己的内在父母,和靜靜擁抱,安撫她,讓她説出當年的難言之苦 ( 沒有做功課,因爲你的失誤)。你説:此時此刻,你感覺舒服一些,放鬆一些,沒有那麽委屈了,但還是有些不相信...
内在,是沒有相信自己可以完全走出來。

這是你長期内在讀懂自己過去纍計的情緒的治療,需要你自己不斷去做。

你就會更加明白潛意識的運作真的好美,發揮自己的想象力,把童年内在創傷一個個修復好,真正走出情緒的牢籠。家庭溝通就會改善,更加好。

談話中,我提到我自己的内在小孩的安撫療愈:
參考:

擁抱自己,安撫自己,修復創傷

Dear Christine

I will make a record about this morning meditation and send to you later.

The title is:

擁抱情緒 改寫信念 轉化生命
回到自己内在的家,感受自己的感受,別人的感受,激發慈悲心,compassion,感受一旦轉化,情緒的到釋放,得到解讀,信念就開始重寫,生命轉化就靜靜的開始。

Here is the another meditation for the course:

相信每一个人都有情緒。如果說情緒是一個内在不帶面具的本我,或者是自己的内在小孩,那麽,它會用各種方式去表達自己。與自己心靈連結,深度讀懂自己,需要明白什麽是情緒的表達方式。


About today‘s therapy, we have talked about drama triangle, about core emotions and how to feel feelings and change belief. How to be our emotion master 

Here is my article for your further study:

裏面有不少我製作的課程圖片 POWER POINT PICTURES

 善用情緒智慧,走出情緒陷阱,活出渴望自己

我們無法控制一些生命的挑戰、逆境,但我們可以決定我們對事件的感受和態度。正是我們的態度和感受決定了我們情緒和 行爲、結果 、命運。


希望孩子好就是認為孩子不好

 家長的煩惱 - “應該做得到,爲什麽不做?”


下一次:
1、
深度療愈,進一步改寫信念,更加重要的信念

從童年開始,從不敢去反駁父母。因爲一次小小的反駁,帶來鞭子的痛苦,肉體的痛,可能導致深深的情緒創傷。於是,用另一種保護機制,就是要服從,用内疚來保護自己,要做到父母心中最好的孩子,以免再次令爸爸不開心,情緒爆發!

不知不覺,成爲自己的信念,我必須做到最好,不允許自己犯錯,否則,我會有内疚和痛苦。但越是害怕犯錯,就越焦慮,就越容易投射情緒,導致關係受傷害。

感受感受,個案漸漸看到自己限制性的信念源於自己童年的不愉快的經歷,過去了,我還活在過去。

2、

和孩子的溝通,rudeness,早起上學問題

限值性信念上,找到什麽更多。

如何具體愛自己?寫出


____

second section : 24 2 2022

九天后,我們今天的交談,看到你疲倦的身子,相信你很累。但仍然繼續學習改寫信念,感謝情緒管理的舊模式,改寫溝通模式的意欲,我爲你鼓掌,你也要爲自己鼓掌。

 1 wondering how to live in peace in the turbulent world:

一開始,你説:心情頗受外界影響,covid, 孩子的情緒和行爲....不知如何平靜下來,和自己好好相處。

I sensed your perturbation. 我非常明白你的心情,香港的情況你也清楚,有很多相似地方:如何在疫情再次反彈嚴峻的情況下,在社會分化的情況下,保持一份身心安頓的狀態?

首先,理解自己,同理自己。和自己說:it's OK. I understand you. You need to repeated to say this to yourself with breathing exercise. Then you will find you approach to be more calm and inner peace state.
靜靜 Hopefully I didn't make it wrong. You see your parents expectation and wish you to be peaceful. And this is also they had wanting to be but probably not yet in their life time.

distress, perturbation and anxiety is extremely damaging to our immunity system and nerve system, causing memory loss, and early aging, chronical diseases. I think you have suffering symptoms  and know it is time to make a change. 

I also have such time in worry and anxiety before and now. I use writing therapy , gratitude therapy and self meditation... ( self hypnosis - inner talk) to myself:

回想過去兩年多,Covid 19 疫情令我們的生活發生巨大變化,激發我們去反思自身的問題,如何提升自己的免疫力,如何改變自己的身心狀態,如何提升面對外在壓力和内在的焦慮管理的能力 - 心理質素,這些是自我保護的重要課題。

從中,我反思:為什麼感恩對我們情緒安穩,潛能發揮那么重要? https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/02/blog-post_1.html

無負此生 https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/02/blog-post_73.html 我昨天的文章
[23:50, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 擁抱情緒  改寫信念,轉化生命 Day 8                                  今天我們的傾談,你説:不知如何不受外界因素影響,得到内在平安,平靜。我想,也許以下朋友的歌聲、故事、可以給我們樹立任何時候,都可以找到快樂的榜樣
[23:52, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 歌唱者Nightird的自創“ It's OK” ,我感受到她内心的幸福和喜悅,可以用歌聲表達對生命的珍惜,同時對自己走向死亡的坦然.
I have a 2% chance of survival,. But 2% is not zero percent. 2% is something, I wish people knew how amazing it is.
她在告訴世界:雖然我的生命危在旦夕,但 It's OK. I accept it. I am happy. 
不一定命長就一定幸福,不一定生活沒有任何困難才可以有幸福,活出自己的夢想,活的坦然,覺知當下,感覺自己是快樂的,就是幸福。
Night bird說:
You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy. 你不能等到人生不再艱難的時候才決定要活得快樂!
[23:53, 2/24/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Wow that is inspiring
[23:53, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: I was tearful.
[23:53, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZJvBfoHDk0
[23:55, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 去年美國達人秀有一位震驚全世界的參賽者,是一位身形非常瘦小,卻有著非常美麗的笑容的女生Nightbirde。
唱著她的自創曲: It's Ok(沒關係的)
她很開朗的不斷說著她沒事,沒關係,她很好,即便她肺部、脊椎和肝臟都已經長滿了癌細胞。
當評審稱讚她的笑容時,她說:「謝謝,我希望可以讓多一點人知道我身上除了癌細胞以外,還有很多值得被看見的東西,我覺得這是很重要的。」
幾天前,Nightbirde離開了,在她31歲的時候。
雖然她離開了,但她留下了一首無與倫比的歌曲。
以及一句會不斷感動人們的回應:
You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy.「你不能等到人生不再艱難的時候才決定要活得快樂。」(Fowarded Facebook)
[23:56, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 共勉❤️

You can read it and write down what you are fearful or worrying or any emotion state; what you can thank, appreciate. Then you will be calming down yourself to some extent. I call it Writing therapy. 

Learn to heal  ourselves

你和孩子的衝突,如政治上的見解和立場產生的衝突,他的自我管理生活習慣令你的擔憂,你會發現:

大家都想被對方理解,明白,都有一種你不相信我, you don't care about me. 你不關心我. 這個限制性信念,背後和聲音是:想被愛,更多的愛,想被聆聽,被看到。被認同,

孩子在16、17嵗時,是成爲一個獨立個體,一個self  independent, looking  for self esteem, self recognition 的 關鍵時間。如果得不到父母的理解,( 不需要完全認同)會有很多的情緒困擾。

他現在渴望的是你的聆聽,理解,給他時間表達。

你做出一個榜樣:我有我的見解,你有你的看法,但我們都是愛對方的,我尊重你的看法,我的看法也不一定永遠是對的,你的也可能有你的道理。同時我也有我的道理。我們可以共存。

如果你認爲自己一定就是對的,你給他有處於高高在上的感覺,那就失去了信任和溝通的環境。

我也在這方面摸索,美國的政治兩黨鬥爭影響世界,所以,我孩子也有很多這方面的分享。

作爲孩子的媽媽,他想和我分享,一定有他的原因,背後我看到就很多自我價值感,需要被理解,也看到安全感的問題。

不要小看teenage,他們將有投票權,也會做出選擇,subconsciously 安全感和自我價值感,認同感的drive而已。這方面你可能需要深入探索。他在尋找WHO AM I?  Inner Security
Not just political arguments!
給與他機會去探索吧!他會成長的!放手吧!

當他説到 you don't care about me. 你會有委屈和frustrated。
這是正常的,可以理解的。

追溯到你的早期記憶,被老師和校長的訓話和責備,他們,甚至媽媽也不懂如何瞭解你内心深処的恐懼和擔心,這個記憶猶新的心理陰影,是你的傷痛,必須療愈它。

在這次經歷中,你小小的年紀,就有埋下了一些信念,遇到衝突,你不相信我, you don't care about me. 你不關心我!

這個受傷的孩子,孤單無助的情感,渴望被愛的情感,委屈又恐懼的情緒,一直沒有得到安撫。歷史也不會再來一次,我們可以做到的,就是成爲自己内在的父母,好在,潛意識不分過去和將來,只有當下:内在小孩得到内在父母的理解,認同和關注,就可以安頓下來,就有一棵聆聽自己的心,從而有聆聽別人的心。

我和你做了一些安撫内在小孩的部分,你也做自己的内在父母,和靜靜擁抱,安撫她,讓她説出當年的難言之苦。你説:此時此刻,你感覺舒服一些,放鬆一些,沒有那麽委屈了,但還是有些不相信...
内在,是沒有相信自己可以完全走出來。

這是你長期内在讀懂自己過去纍計的情緒的治療,需要你自己不斷去做。

你就會更加明白潛意識的運作真的好美,發揮自己的想象力,把童年内在創傷一個個修復好,真正走出情緒的牢籠。家庭溝通就會改善,更加好。


談話中,我提到我自己的内在小孩的安撫療愈:
參考:

擁抱自己,安撫自己,修復創傷
2
原諒自己,寬恕別人

何謂真正的寬恕原諒?

3
改寫情緒模式,感謝信念
4
自己都不喜歡和惡習,生活習慣,自然就會改變。身體就會慢慢健康起來,或者更加健康。

3 be an open, listener 

Here is some ways I learned and I have been practicing 

 家長的煩惱 - “應該做得到,爲什麽不做?”

送上這首我很喜歡的詩:

是的,我們都是自己内在孩子的父母

當你只注意孩子的行為時,

你就沒有看見孩子;

當你關注孩子行為後面的意圖時,

你就開始看孩子了;


當你關心孩子意圖背面的需要和感受時,

你就真的看見孩子了,

透過你的心看見了孩子的心,

這是你的生命和孩子生命的相遇,

愛就發生並開始在親子間流動,

和諧而暖人!

這就是真愛你的孩子。


當你只注意一個人的行為,

你沒有看見他;

當你關註一個人的行為後面的意圖,

你開始看他;

當你關心一個人意圖後面的需要和感受,

你看見他了。

透過你的心看見另一顆心,

這是一個生命看見另一個生命,

也是生命與生命相遇了,

愛就發生了,

愛會開始在心之間流動,

喜悅而動人!

當你只關注自己的行為時,

你就沒有看見自己;

當你關注自己行為後面的意圖時,

你就開始看自己了;

當你關心自己意圖背面的需要和感受時,

你才真的看見自己了。

透過內心看見了自己的心靈真相,

這是你的生命和心相遇了, 

愛自己就發生並開始在自己身上流動。

你整個人就和諧而平靜!

這就是真愛的發生。

共勉之


好深刻的話,送給自己和大家 - 

當我開始看見...

“當你只注意孩子的行為時,
你就沒有看見孩子;
當你關注孩子行為後面的意圖時,
你就開始看孩子了;
當你關心孩子意圖背面的需要和感受時,
你就真的看見孩子了,
透過你的心看見了孩子的心,
這是你的生命和孩子生命的相遇,
愛就發生並開始在親子間流動,
和諧而暖人!
這就是真愛你的孩子。

當你只注意一個人的行為,
你沒有看見他;
當你關註一個人的行為後面的意圖,
你開始看他;
當你關心一個人意圖後面的需要和感受
你看見他了。
透過你的心看見另一顆心,
這是一個生命看見另一個生命,
也是生命與生命相遇了,
愛就發生了,
愛會開始在心之間流動,
喜悅而動人!

當你只關注自己的行為時,
你就沒有看見自己;
當你關注自己行為後面的意圖時,
你就開始看自己了;
當你關心自己意圖背面的需要和感受時,
你才真的看見自己了。
透過內心看見了自己的心靈真相,
這是你的生命和心相遇了, 
愛自己就發生並開始在自己身上流動。
你整個人就和諧而平靜!
這就是真愛的發生。”

共勉之
—————

創傷性的信念,如何改寫?

有的朋友與家人有衝突,情緒爆發時,常常内心有句内在誓言,沒人值得相信,沒有人愛我。沒有人caring 沒有人在乎我。甚至他們大叫或會直接說給衝突中的對方,給人很大的情緒勒索的感覺。受害者的感覺。

當我聽到他們的下一代(孩子)的聲音,也有幾乎一樣的“呼叫”。渴望他們的父母明白他們。


原來,這些限制性的信念,一代一代都受到傳染,我忽然想到一個名稱給這種信念 - 創傷性的信念。

原因是,幾乎100%的個案中,都有一連串的童年創傷,有的相當痛苦,皮肉之痛,有的是受到極大的羞辱...。

在和他們做情緒創傷的療愈中,我常常問他們:

當你有内疚、或惱怒、或無奈無助、焦慮和恐懼等等個種情緒時,你的身體發出什麽症狀?很多人都說發抖,透不過氣來...頭痛和胃痛...
這就是身心症狀,長期下去,會導致慢性疾病。

我常常問他們,在記憶中,第一次有這種類似的感覺和信念是幾歲?當時發生什麽事情?原來,這些感覺,早已在童年埋下情緒按鈕。

要療愈這些toxic trauma,必須在潛意識認會這一個受傷的孩子。給與它已有的愛、關懷和理解。

今天的個案中,我看到個案曾經在學校,二年級的他犯了小小錯,被老師帶他見校長,校長幾乎趕她出校,沒有給他半句解釋的機會,媽媽求情,希望給他孩子一個機會,問題終於解決,但,回家,媽媽也沒有安慰他,嘗試去理解他。

那是,沒有一個人支持他,而且令他蒙羞。那怪他會有這些信念:大家都想被對方理解,明白,都有一種你不相信我, you don't care about me. 你不關心我!

潛意識的孩子,我們的情緒,一次一次被曝發,都和這些童年的深度創傷有關。

情緒是可以轉化的,只有我們給與自己愛,做回自己内在的父母。改寫對過去的看法和信念。

從和你交談中,你看





擁抱情緒  改寫信念,轉化生命 Day 11 

Dear Christine,

在《與情緒創傷說再見》這個課程和個談中,我發現你越來越清晰自己的情緒脈搏,開始學習控制自己的情緒,反思如何下次可以做的好些。反思如何可以感受到別人的感受,將心比心。

這是你的一大進步啊!

和孩子的關係上,你看到孩子有些限制性的信念,也是你的一部分。你的反思能力,把你帶囘自己内在的家,令自己安穩平靜一些。

你開始關注自己内在關係,明白到一個不健康的外在關係,都是自己關係的投射。和自己的關係,就是和自己原生家庭的關係,和内在小孩子的關係。

如何可以改善與孩子的關係?如何成爲她的内在父母,令内在關係,心理質素更大提升?

其中一個方法,就是要去認同自己的價值,贊美自己的潛能和特質。

請真的寫出你的5-10美麗特質、潛能和强項,

然後寫出你先生和孩子 BEN的優點和潛能。

如果可以分享給我,那就太好了!

可以寫給先生和孩子一張心意卡,表達你對他們的贊美和感恩。

參考:

Praise therapy 讚美的力量 (1)


 讚美療愈法 Praise Therapy ( 2)


[24:21, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My progress is slow for now. My husband has so many good qualities. He is hard working, kind and gentle and very patient. He is a very loyal and also a creative problem solver when it comes to fixing things around the house.
[24:22, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Ben is very sensitive and headstrong. He has heart wounds now so it is not easy to spot his food qualities. He is trying to find himself now so it is a bit confusing as he develops
[24:24, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I am inherently a fighter. I don't give up even when things get very tough. I can be a very good and generous friend but I tend to be a pleaser and still have to learn boundaries. Sometimes I asked myself am I really trying to help or am I doing it so they think well of me.
[13:33, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: Well done👏👏👏❤❤❤🥰🥰🥰
[13:42, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: you have a strong character from your childhood training. 
Because of being a fighter, you supported your husband to study PHD and brought up 3 great kids....that is all your achievements. 
Keep it and we need to have such character to overcome difficulties in the future , especially. when getting old, 面對生老病死 life and death challenge. 
💫💫💫
You are a great helper. Very responsible and caring.
[14:31, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: yes, as a good helper, we need to take care of ourselves first. This is also my challenge , to create health boundary. Don't forget to put self health in the first place,  everything else is secondary.
[14:42, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: Here is my 
helping mindset after many years of healing if myself :

As why we need to help others, if our intention is to show our existence,  our ability, identity and this might be end in victim trap if our expectations are not met afterward. This is not truly to in loving ourselves. 

To help others without intentions to need any return , even verbal thanks. This is a self esteem, self value building process.  EVERYONE NEED TO BUILD. Mather Tetesa is my icon in compassion.

We all are learners to ❤️ love ourselves.

共勉
[14:43, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: The purpose if life

You are on the way to find your life mission now...
[17:49, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: you can let him know how you love him with you gratitude,  thanks for his understanding, patience and creativity..... Your relationship ,  understanding will be even better.
Just to give Ben more security if he can feels your love,  feels parents loving each other,  being communicative, accepting each other and inclusive in facing  family issues.
[18:50, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My relationship with my husband has increased a hundred fold. I used to project all my pain on him and find fault with him not being emotionally available. Unconsciously, I blamed him for all the things I don't get from my parents
[18:51, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Now I try to see his intentions and where he is coming from
[22:13, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: One change that I made with my son is whenever he started to argue and being critical, I immediately stop talking and listened instead of engaging in the argument or lecture him on how he was wrong and I am right. I kept quiet and waited he is done. He let him realize what he did on his own
[23:33, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: You see you have made significant progress. I can see you are going to have more compassion and empathy. I am soo happy for you indeed. For your son, you can also try the same way and give him more praise and see his intention. He is longing for our understanding and encouragement more.
[23:34, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: Have I Been Vaccinated?
[23:35, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: Just ask.
[23:36, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I think my son yearns to be understood and accepted. And I had such a hard time when his opinion was different from mine and wouldn't do what I wanted to. Like I literally feared for him when he wouldn't do what I asked.
[23:36, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: What do you mean?
[23:39, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: So now I think it is scary for him that I have a different opinion that I can't see him or really understand him. It make him angry and to retaliate he does the opposite of what I want to hurt me.
[23:40, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Our of my fears I want to get him to do certain  things over the years and it doesn't make him feel loved
[23:40, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: That is understandable and I am also trying to learn how to communicate with  my son, But I can see they are our mirror of shadow. And we gave them traumas because we are not perfect. We are also babies .in Parenting
[23:41, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: Slowly, it's ok to be not OK


[23:43, 2/28/2022] Donna Wong: many factors , gens , characters and most important is our parents relationship in their childhood ...

[23:41, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I need to find a way and the right time to validate him and showed that I want to see him for who he is even though we see things differently I still love him. I want him to show him how to talk and/or debate with logic not with emotions.

[23:43, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: If I can face my fear then I won't feel like I have to change his opinion. But it takes time and I have to be patient and have faith

👍🙌❤️ trust him to be on the right track and to live fully his dreams , even he will learn from lessons and mistakes. Soon he goes to university and you are only two at home. You will soon become free to some extent, it is time to find what is most important to yourself, while having spending most of your life time for others

4 3 2022
I has a long talk with my son just now. He started with a lot of accusations and judgement and I listened and  told him how hard it must be for him to feel all those feelings and have it bottled up inside and not feel like he is being  listened to and understood. I told him I wanted  so much for him  to obey because I wanted the best for him but I didn't know how because I had a hard time dealing with my fear. I think he is starting to open up and he told me he felt bad that he had been so mean and he didn't want to be mean. Things are slowly shifting.

[24:33, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Also I want to share an incident with you. I was in the car with my son when mentioned the price of the fuel has risen. He then mentioned  how lucky my husband can afford it and that many people who worked just as hard are having a hard time. I said yes dad works very hard. The context was he has said several times his dad is white and therefore privileged. Well I really think those are false lies the media feeds it the kids to divide the populace. And I resent it every time he suggests that our upper middle class status has something to do with his dad being white. Certainly many whites struggle a lot and many blacks and Asians are living very comfortable lives. He got very emotional when I tried to reason with him. And I said if you can choose not to use dad's resource if he think dad is privileged. I carried judgement and disdain towards him when I said those words
[24:37, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I thought about our interaction afterwards. Why do I get so uptight over it? Why do I always judge him so much. I could have said," Ben you have a big and sensitive heart and you feel for the disadvantaged ones. You see a lot of injustice in the world that you feel shouldn't be here. I know someday you will find a way to right the wrong. I am so proud of you."
[24:40, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I go to judgement and then  to correct/control instead of connecting with his underlying emotions.
[24:46, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: The fear energy is palpable and drives a lot of what I do and don't
[12:34, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: reading your text...
[12:45, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: I will give you big Five for your empathy and new perception at his position. . That is what you can do gradually. The good thing is you have the ability  to  reflect and alert of your judgement , instead of frankly discussion, sharing attitude can make things worse and hurt your son.  And yourself as well.
[12:58, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: No matter the media impact on the young generation or his own value system , 世界觀,價值觀 built from his childhood and teen time.. his intention is really kind to some extent - empathetic to the lower classes , people under the poverty line , and the disadvantaged ones.
[13:03, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: Ben has some issues to do in his life certainly, which is the reasons he is still exploring his inner world, pus him to be better. As he mentioned his Father's privileged statue, I  am more concern what he thinks to his own identity. How does he see himself , his father (Father's hard work and ability that he can see , not sure how he see his father effort ) .... When he grows up and supports himself, he will understand his family love bonding is always there.
[13:11, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: I can see your points. You can see from more angles. You are self made rich person as an Asian from zero penny to middle class. And you believe on yourself instead on outside factors. We share the same experiences... Probably our experiences give us some insights that Ben may not really hear before. You can share some family stories to let him know your early life and work... But need to be very careful as young guys may not want to be told. Tonality is the key and build proper communicative environment is also important. This is what I hope to do with you in the next stage. Communication Skill with Subconscious power.
[13:21, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: "And I said if you can choose not to use dad's resource if he think dad is privileged. I carried judgement and disdain towards him when I said those words"                 it might /would hurt him very much, as he would feel he was not respected and you had no confidence in him... probably.  I had many family cases because of parents like this. Take time to heal. Remember it's OK to be not OK at this moment to you and see you can talk with him in another way with some recognition word to him...
[17:55, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I know those words shamed him. I felt like he bit the hands that fed him.
[10:32, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: it's OK to be not OK ,
[10:34, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: Forgive self first , guilt is very damaging mentally and physically. I am thinking how to help
[10:36, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: and your sleep quality plays crucial role in our reaction, decision, emotion control.

Great, just watched, lots of ideas are also our philosophy why and what we are going heal ourselves as a life long learning, self development. Becomes our own therapist. When we accept our Vulnerability, our shadows and blind spots, we become a truly strong and compassionate human.   ( I mean humanity)

[21:44, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷:  have about 25 pounds to lose. For being an American now
[21:45, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I lost my weight after my first two kids but not after my last. I was almost 45 when I had him. Age just makes it harder
[21:45, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Now I am more concerned about health than weight or look
[21:45, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: great
[21:46, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: I can help
[21:46, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: especially. weight management
[21:46, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My hair has also lost it's shine and the top is thinning as well
[21:46, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Oh good
[21:46, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: I lost 12 after running
[21:46, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: no bounced
[21:46, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: 35 years
[21:47, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I ran a marathon when I was about 40. Didn't lose a single pound
[21:47, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: With me it is about eating
[21:50, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: eating habit
[21:50, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: u can write a list what u like
[21:50, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: to eat
[21:56, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I like fruits and meat. Eating salad is not enjoyable to me. I like organ meat too but I am trying to stay away from it. 牛百葉, 牛肚, 雞腎
[21:56, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I love fish balls
[22:03, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: now hiking in the dark
[22:03, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Be careful
[22:04, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: try to walk 8000 after work
[22:04, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: yes
[22:04, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: 8000? Steps?
[22:04, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: wild pigs around
[22:04, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: yes
[22:04, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: What work do you do? Is life coaching your main job or side job?
[22:06, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: therapy
[22:06, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: health, mental of course,  sleep, weight


Did you study that in college? Psychology or social work?
5 3 2022

今天的電話分享,我對你瞭解更多一些,更深一些。
常常不見東西,記憶力衰退,或内在説話帶有限制性的信念和價值觀,low self value各種擔心焦慮和信念,

[23:11, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong:  am self made psychological therapist. A long story... I studied Chemistry. Then I changed to business for  years.  In recent 15 years, I studied lots of positive psychology   many kinds of therapies, doing many cases, accumulating experience , healing myself, helping my families  and friends.  Then I started my own career on mental therapy and health coach
[23:12, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: almost 10 uears
[23:12, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: years
[23:12, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: on the field
[23:17, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: later we can  share more.  I helped some people to lose weight.  I found most health issues links with mental hindrance,  secondary  gains, traumatic issues, and depression.  So I use dream therapy and hypnosis to help them to make changes both mental and physically. Must come together according to my experience
[23:18, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: dream therapy is not just sleeping dreams,  it is a huge deep neurological stuff, a skills even u don't have dreams
[23:19, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: I can use the skill to help people to reach their dreams
[23:19, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: u got my meaning
[23:20, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My dream as in our goals?
[23:20, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: write it done
[23:20, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I second guess myself. I don't know if my goals come from my true self
[23:20, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: I will use my way to help
[23:21, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: let talk next week more
[23:21, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Ok
[23:22, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: as you love walking or Yoga,  do it consistently
[23:23, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: go to bed , good day and good sleep for me
[22:33, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: Hi, Christine 
When you paid, please send the advice note to the group. Thank you. 🙏
[22:37, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: take your time
[22:41, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I'm sorry what advice note. I'm confused
[22:57, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: oh, just advise us you have paid with a note. I mean.
[22:59, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Got it
[22:59, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: you mean guilt to your husband? we changed topics so fast.
[23:00, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: Did u run marathon?
[23:00, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: I wish I could some day
[23:03, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Yes once
[23:04, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: If you can run 6 miles you can run a Marathon
[23:55, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: That is because I have ADD
[10:03, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: I see
[10:04, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: But I am aware. If I am not watching, my brian jumps all over the place🤨
[10:07, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: That is understandable. 
ADD need to managed and not only by mental health,  also by food,  nutrition and physical exercises.  Let's talk more 17th
[10:11, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Awesome
[10:14, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: Good sleep
[10:15, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Thank you. Talk to you soon
[10:16, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: before sleeping, do breathing and self Affirmation in short minutes. very useful to have a quality sleep
[10:23, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: What do I affirm
[10:33, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: Say to yourself: I love you, I love my inner JINJIN. I love my Hubby, I love my sons and daughter...I am going to make more health improvement, including mental and body and soul...for myself, for my own well being, that is same for my dearest family.
[10:34, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: going to work n

Dear Christine,

在第一階段,我們都看到你的同理心、自我反思力和掌握情緒的能力有不少提升。你也看到還需要進一步深度療愈創傷和,繼續探索自己的核心情緒 (guilt, self esteem issues, 改寫積纍的限制性的信念和狀態( I am not good enough...victim mindset, 難以接納自己,過度完美主義,煩躁、焦慮、depression)限制性的習慣,建立一套真正愛自己的身心藍圖和行動計劃。



在我的部分:

Goals:

内在關係:
將繼續與Christine一起
深入探索您的潛意識,
學習與内在做真情的對話,
發掘潛意識自我修復、自我反思、自我提升的潛能,
療愈過去的心靈創傷,更加接納自己童年、過去和不完美,
繼續改寫信念,
提升慈悲心,同理心, 自我價值感,
找到内在更多、真正需要,内心的平靜和更多智慧。
找到Christine更多美麗特質和潛能
建立起生命的使命感 。

外在關係:
學習放手,更加包容同理,接納家人,學習用潛意識喜歡的溝通模式,開放式的溝通方式,提升與家人的關係,愛的流動更加暢順。

 日常生活習慣的改善:

改善睡眠質素,提升愛自己的行動力,建立積極、健康、有條理的生活習慣,改變以往較為凌亂的生活習慣 (pattern),身心合一,找到内心的快樂富足。

Approaches

With holistic hypnotherapies ( body - mind - soul) , hypnotic conversations and meditation practice.

根據情況,做專題的探索和療愈、一起討論,分享。

A set of integrated therapies created from my working experiences , self development experiences and successful dynamic transformation therapies I practice in my work:

Detailed approaches listed below according to Christine current saturations, physical situations and progress:


Emotion Interpretation therapy
解讀情緒

Inner child therapy, Narrative therapy

PTSD healing therapy 

The essence 精髓 of Dream therapy ( interpret subconscious mind, like dreams, illusions, distorted emotions, repression and feelings , change stuck, rigid perceptions, find the life truth and reality )

Forgiveness therapy

Sleep management therapy 

Love therapy 

Behavior therapy

Health Eating Therapy, Health Habit, Life Style Building process

Praise therapy 

Personality therapy 

etc.



每次談話後,  我會做深入的回饋和反思,包括對個案所經歷事件、issues中的潛意識發生的微妙變化,轉化成長做出鼓勵、贊美和認同,或進一步提升的建議,一些想法,包括我自己親身體會和經驗所得到的啓示,供參考。

或發給您針對性的資料,做深度修行,強化練習。這是修改信念,強化自我價值感,改變陋習,學習好好愛自己心靈旅程。

您也隨時通過留言或message分享自己的身心狀況,反思和感受。同時鼓勵分享心得,寫出自己的感受和練習。

我會做出積極回應support.


————————

🥰⚘讓 Christine 找到自己内在力量,遇見心想事成的自己🥰⚘

💫整全身心靈6個月~陪伴之旅💫

Dear Christine,

在《與情緒創傷説再見》的2個多月課程中,我們都看到您的同理心、自我反思力和掌控情緒的能力有不少提升。你也看到還需要進一步深度療愈心理創傷, 繼續探索自己的核心情緒 (guilt, self esteem issues, 改寫積纍的限制性的信念和狀態( I am not good enough... 尚未接納自己和別人的部分:如陰影、個性,有煩躁、焦慮等),建立一套真正愛自己的身心藍圖和行動計劃。

(人生走了一半的路程,這是一個整理生命的好時機,沒有藉口不去圓夢。怎樣設定人生下半場的目標、怎樣實踐,關鍵在你對未來的新視野。)

Donna /Pheabe會陪伴您邁步人生路,讓您提昇更高意識及維度,邁向新的境界,不再作繭自縛,跳出舊有窒礙自己的框架思維。創造全新的信念和實相,重投生命幸福的恩典。輕鬆自在地綻放你的內在光芒,能跟隨內心真正的自己,活現出更好版本的自己。遇見心想事成,身體健康的Christine 自己。☕☕🌱

🌷整全計劃內容:

共修部分:

🔴建議運用三人whatsapp共修群組,覺察覺知覺悟當下的感想留言。讓彼此心聲能夠被理解,被聆聽,被看見。三人之間互撑支持,學習同頻共振 - A Synergistic effect ,帶着意識走向高能量區,更能提昇人際溝通的流動。就著不同課題,發放心靈文章及視頻。讓陪伴的感覺持續昇華,更能堅定自己的優點,也為生命注入更多的動力。

課程和個談部分:

🔹 日期:建議3月中開始,每個月三次視像/電話交談大約每10天1次,每次1-2小時。

🔹 美國時間:建議逢星期三或四 9pm to 11pm 

頭三個月

🔴 導師Donna Wong,「改寫信念 轉化生命」深化課程

🔹內容函蓋:

🎈Goals:


根據 Christine的情況,做專題的探索和療愈、一起討論,分享。

内在關係:
將繼續與Christine一起
深入探索潛意識,
學習與内在做真情的對話,
發掘潛意識自我修復、自我反思、自我提升的潛能,
療愈過去的心靈創傷,更加接納自己的過去、自己的陰影和不完美,
繼續改寫信念,
繼續提升慈悲心,同理心, 自我價值感,
找到内在更多、真正需要,内心的平靜和更多智慧。
找到Christine更多美麗特質和潛能
建立起生命的使命感 。

外在關係:
學習用潛意識智慧性的溝通模式,開放式的溝通方式,更加包容同理,求同存異提升與家人的關係,愛的流動更加暢順。

 日常生活習慣改善:

拼棄陋習,改善睡眠質素,提升愛自己的能力和行動力,建立積極、健康、有條理的生活習慣,改變以往較為凌亂的生活方式 ,身心合一,達至内心快樂富足。

🎈Approaches


With holistic hypnotherapies ( body - mind - soul) ,  conversations and mindfulness practice.

(The  holistic hypnotherapies are integrated therapies created from my self development experiences and effective dynamic transformation therapies practicing in my work:)

Detailed approaches listed below according to Christine current saturations, physical situations and progress:

Emotion Interpretation therapy ( Feeling feelings, change state of emotion, change belief, enhance self esteem and action power...)

Inner child therapy:

To connect with original family, inner self, to let go with past fears, anger and guilt and find a more capable, beautiful self.

TimeLine therapy,  Forgiveness therapy, Dream Therapy:

To Interpret subconscious mind,  dreams, illusions, distorted emotions, repression and depression, transforming limited perceptions,  finding solutions )

Self affirmation, Praise and Gratitude Therapy

Sleep management  ( sleep hypnosis and relaxation process with mindfulness to improve sleep quality and reduce insomnia)

Love therapy to improve execution power

Personality test and analysis ( MBTI test) for understanding each better and improving communication skills


Behavior therapy: change potentially self-destructive or unhealthy behaviors/ habits

A health eating, desirable habit building process

Time regression therapy ( 時間回溯法)
( finding missing, misplaced stuff and improving memory)


後三個月:

🔴 導師Pheabe Leung,3個月優質課程「遇見心想事成的自己」優化版

🔹 內容函蓋:

🎈冰山理論

🎈吸引力法則

🎈性格學九型人格

🎈心想事成的心法

🎈如何做思緒斷捨離

🎈學習静心的藝術

🎈養生飲食調理/陪伴運動

🎈如何有效建立目標行動力

🎈如何持續掌握執行力/習慣力

🎈如何有效槓桿你的時間

⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘

🕰 付費須知:

🌟US$1800 (折合港幣HK$14,220)

🌟請於2022年3月15日前

✅銀行過數:

中國銀行:012 808100 66462

Leung Chor Bik Pheabe

————————————

整全身心靈陪伴之旅⛵ 計劃書   

 9 Mar 2022 (HK Time)


Dear Christine,


在《與情緒創傷説再見》課程的2個多月中,我們都開心地看到您的同理心、自我反思力和掌控情緒的能力有不同程度的提升。同時,你也看到還需要深度療愈心理創傷以及核心情緒 (焦慮、內疚、自我價值, 愛的匱乏感,沒有安全感etc.,) 改寫限制性的信念和身心欠缺安頓的狀態。建立一套真正愛自己的身心藍圖。


Donna /Pheabe會陪伴您邁步人生路,讓您提昇更高意識及維度,邁向新的境界,跳出舊有窒礙自己的框架思維。創造全新的信念和實相,輕鬆自在地綻放你的內在光芒,能跟隨內心真正的自己,活現出更好版本的自己。遇見心想事成,身體健康的Christine 自己。


🌷整全計劃內容:


共修部分:


🔴建議運用三 人Whatsapp共修群組,覺察覺知覺悟當下的感想留言。讓彼此心聲能夠被理解,被聆聽,被看見。三人之間互撐支持,學習同頻共振 - A Synergistic effect ,帶著意識走向高能量區,更能提昇人際溝通的流動。就著不同課題,發放心靈文章及視頻。讓陪伴的感覺持續昇華,更能堅定自己的優點,也為生命注入更多的動力。


🔴課程和個談部分:

🔹 日期:建議3月中或下旬前開始,每個月三次Zoom或電話交談,大約每10天1次,每次1-2小時。

🔹 美國時間:建議星期三或四 9pm to 11pm 

( 雙方如有更改,請提前2天通知,除非特殊情況)

  

 🔴頭三個月: 導師Donna Wong’s「改寫信念 轉化生命」深化課程


根據 Christine的當下情況,做專題的探索、討論、分享。

 

🎈 Goals:


內在關係:

將繼續與您一起, 深入學習潛意識世界,與內在自己做真情的對話,發掘潛意識自我修復、自我反思、自我提升的潛能,療愈纍計的心靈創傷,更加接納自己的過去和一切、自己的陰影和不完美,繼續改寫信念,提升慈悲心,同理心, 自我價值感,找到身體和心理上真正需要,回歸內心的平靜。找到您的更多智慧、美麗特質、潛能,生命的使命感 。

 

外在關係:

學習用潛意識智慧性的溝通模式,開放式的溝通方式,

更加包容同理,求同存異, 改善與家人的關係,愛的流動更加暢順。

 

日常生活習慣:

 

拼棄陋習,改善睡眠質素,提升愛自己的能力和行動力,建立積極、健康、有條理的生活習慣,改變以往較為凌亂的生活習慣,身心合一,達至內心快樂富足。

 

🎈Approaches 

 

With holistic hypnotherapies (body - mind - soul), conversations and mindfulness practice. They are integrated therapies created from my self-development experiences and effective dynamic transformation therapies.

 

1 Emotion Interpretation therapy, Inner child, Family therapy

 

2 TimeLine therapy, Forgiveness therapy, Dream Therapy

 

To Interpret subconscious mind, dreams, illusions, distorted emotions in a constructive way and find their insights and values, release repression, reduce depression, improve inner communication.


To connect with your original family, to let go with past emotions (fears and guilt etc.) and find a more capable, beautiful self.


To transform emotion, change belief, enhance self-acceptance, self-esteem.


3 Self-affirmations, Gratitude, Communication Therapies:

 to enhance self-value and happiness state and to improve relationship with family.

 

4 Sleep and relaxation hypnosis:  to reduce stress, anxiety, improve sleep quality and prevent or treat insomnia.

 

5 Love therapy: to improve execution power in self-loving, self-compassion ability.

 

6 Personality test and analysis (MBTI test): A self-discovery process to excel self-potential and improve communication skills.

 

7 Behaviour therapy: to change self-destructive or unhealthy behaviours/habits, a healthy eating, desirable lifestyle building process.

 

8 Time regression therapy:

to learn a skill of tracing missing, misplaced stuff and improving memory

 


🔴後三個月: 導師Pheabe Leung,優質課程「遇見心想事成的自己」優化版

🔹 內容函蓋:

🎈冰山理論

🎈吸引力法則

🎈性格學九型人格

🎈心想事成的心法

🎈如何做思緒斷捨離

🎈學習靜心的藝術

🎈養生飲食調理/陪伴運動

🎈如何有效建立目標行動力

🎈如何持續掌握執行力/習慣力

🎈如何有效槓桿你的時間



🌟費用: US$1800 (折合港幣HK$14,220)

🕰請於2022年3月15日前 

✅銀行過數 

中國銀行:012 808100 66462

Account name: 

Leung Chor Bik Pheabe

或 PayMe to Pheabe: 9183 7709


Best reagrd

Donna & Pheabe

————————————————————————————

HK time March 2, 2022

Dear Christine,

During the journey (To say goodbye to emotional trauma), I found a certain of subconscious improvement in your Emotional Intelligence because of your perception, attitude is changing.

I am pleased to see your determination to continuously heal your wounded inner selfbuilding health habits, and creating positive mindset to meet daily challenges, eventually become your own holistic life coach from body to mind. I have confidence in your life transformation to come.

Based on our discussion this morning

Here is a tailored made 6-month therapeutic plan:

3 sections per month, within, around 10 days interval per section or according to current situations.

60 - 90 minutes Tel/Zoom per section with follow-up by sending my voice messages, text messages and /or articles, medias, information to enforce the therapeutic effect and execution power)

 

Total 3 x 6 = 18 sections

Cost: USD300 x 6 =USD 1800 = HKD14076

 ( 1 USD = 7.82HKD )

Starting time: Mid-March 2022 or earlier

根據情況,做專題的探索和療愈、一起討論,分享。

🎈Follow up

每次談話,將一如既往,給與深入的回饋和反思,包括對個案所經歷事件、issues中的潛意識發生的微妙變化,轉化成長做出鼓勵、贊美和認同,或進一步提升的建議,一些想法,包括我自己親身體會和經驗所得到的啓示,供參考。

分享針對性的資料,做深度修行,強化練習。這是修改信念,強化自我價值感,改變陋習,學習好好愛自己的follow up process

您也隨時通過留言或message分享自己的身心狀況,反思和感受,心得和練習。

我們會做出積極回應support.

 

My mission

To inspire people to develop their subconscious potential towards a greater awareness of making choices for happiness, self-development, and self-esteem building.

My belief

Everyone has built in abundant resources to find inner happiness, peace and tackle their own life challenges.

Sincerely

Donna Wong 

——————

Dear Christine,


你有提到你看待金態有部分是媽媽的影響。而她的出發點也有她的苦衷和難處,當然也和她的成長經歷有關,限制了她從你的生理或/和心理需要 去考慮你的需要。


所以你的安全上的匱乏感,源於自己的需要和最基本的東西都沒有被滿足,留下深深的烙印:那個沒有沒有安全感的小女孩還在你的潛意識影響著你今天的行為模式, strong insecure feelings haunting you from time to time, affecting you value system.  總是覺得不夠。就算有千萬在身,也不會有富足的感覺,沒有安全感。


要走出這種狀態,是要你自己為自己的真正的需要去考慮:是否需要走出這種狀態?還是back to loop around


在上一個課程,你已經體驗了我們的compassion spirit and coaching style. 確實非常適合你的情況。而且你也有深刻的反思、得益和成長。


現在的整合課程, 我們已經根據你的budge, 提供超值的服務,陪伴同行,幾乎是貼身服務。這種價格和服務是在目前大部分的 coaching field,counselling service中不可能的。在外國,這種緊密關係的教練服務費用你可以瞭解下,但卻是值得,很多500大國際企業CEO都有私人教練。幫助他們看到自己的盲點和提供建設性的stratigies,減少犯錯和走彎路,影響甚大。


我在美國Stadford一個成長課程中受過這些教練的熏陶。他們都説:

對金錢的看法,決定一個人成功,背後是行動力和改變的動力有多大,一個心理考驗。需要衝破!不是錢的問題。只要衝破,就全力以赴,爲自己的生命做些事,愛自己的行爲。


在我們的個案中,不能堅持完成課程的人或行動力不足的人,不少是對金錢有issue的人。背後是對自己沒有信心,我不值得去改變,去擁有更多、更大的精神健康的財富。而最後要付出更多,甚至健康的失去和家人的痛苦做代價。


這是一個機會給自己重新定位,你可以告訴自己:

錢不能是我的障礙,參加這個深化成長課程,是幫助我走出困境的動力,也幫助我去找到更多的財富,幫助更多人,更重要的是得到內心得富足。我要對自己有信心,給別人相信。


另外,一次性收費方便大家,減少uncertainty和行政cost。


我們相信你有信心,看到你的決心。一次性付款,幫助你跳出你的insecure comfort zoon,也是對自己決心走出vicious circle - looping in the emotion traps  的肯定,對自己有信心的肯定。


——

updated


Dear Christine,

你有提到你看待金態有部分是媽媽的影響。而她的出發點也有她的苦衷和難處,當然也和她的成長經歷有關,限制了她從你的生理或/和心理需要 去考慮你的需要。

所以你的安全上的匱乏感,源於自己的需要和最基本的東西都沒有被滿足,留下深深的烙印:那個沒有沒有安全感的小女孩還在你的潛意識影響著你今天的行為模式,strong insecure feelings haunting you from time to time, affecting you value system.    總是覺得不夠。就算有千萬在身,也不會有富足的感覺,沒有安全感。

要走出這種狀態,是要你自己為自己的真正的需要去考慮:是否需要走出這種狀態?還是back to loop around

在上一個課程,你已經體驗了我們的compassion spirit and coaching style. 確實非常適合你的情況。而且你也有深刻的反思、得益和成長。

現在的整合課程, 我們已經根據你的budge, 提供超值的服務,陪伴同行,幾乎是貼身服務。這種價格和服務是在目前大部分的 coaching field,counselling service中不可能的。在外國,這種緊密關係的教練服務費用你可以瞭解下,可以沒有頂。但他們卻覺得值得,很多500大國際企業CEO都有私人教練,給與鼓勵,幫助他們看到自己的盲點和提供建設性的stratigies,減少犯錯和走彎路,影響甚大。

我在美國Stadford大學一個成長課程中受過這些教練的熏陶。他們都説:

對金錢的看法,決定一個人成功,背後是行動力和改變的動力有多大,一個心理考驗。需要衝破!

在我們的個案中,不能堅持完成課程的人或行動力不足的人,不少是對金錢有issue的人。背後是對自己沒有信心,我不值得去改變,去擁有更多、更大的精神健康的財富。而最後要付出更多,甚至健康的失去和家人的痛苦做代價。

只要衝破,就全力以赴,爲自己的生命做些事,是愛自己的行爲。

這是一個機會給自己重新定位,你可以告訴自己:

錢不能是我的障礙,參加這個深化成長課程,是對自己生命負責任,是幫助我走出困境的動力,也幫助我去找到更多的財富,幫助更多人,更重要的是得到內心得富足。我要對自己有信心,給別人信心。

我們相信你有信心,看到你的決心。一次性付款是一個symbol,意義在與幫助你跳出insecure comfort zoon,也是對自己決心走出vicious circle  的肯定,對自己有信心的肯定。對嗎?

另外,一次性收費方便大家,減少uncertainty和行政cost。


整全身心靈陪伴之旅

今天,我們繼續來

擁抱情緒  改寫信念 轉化生命

In the last course and healing weeks, you have made quite great progress in understanding others and yourself. The ability to feel your own feelings and others’ feelings improved.

15 2 2022

Christine 15 2 2022

 

今天,我們一起經歷了感受感受,解讀情緒,覺察信念,改寫信念,轉化生命的心靈旅程。

用一些生活中的實列,解讀自己和孩子的情緒,對自己多了反思,對兒子多了理解...

 

真的由心爲你開心,您看到一個更有生命敏感度的自己!

 

Christine

 

其實有生命敏感度的自己,她一直在哪裏,在心中,當你回到了自己的内在的家,她就在家中等你。渴望看到美麗的自己,有同理心、慈悲心的自己,有能力感受別人的感受的自己,源於開始對自己也有一份包容和理解。把對自己的尺度放鬆一些,就開拓就會,對別人也理解多一些, 對自己的尺度也放鬆一些,to love to set free, 學習放手。

 

你做得到,你已經開始有這樣的決心和意願,也看到這樣做帶來的互相信任和協的溝通,是你内心的渴望。你開始學習跨越焦慮,放輕自己的信念,delay自己的期望和要求,嘗試從別人的角度看事物,感受別人的感受。嘗試用心去溝通,用新的方法去嘗試,令別人舒服的方式去合作,一起解決問題。因爲你感受如果堅持自己限制性的信念,別人只會更加抗拒,受到傷害,自己會受傷害。enough is enough you are experiencing to be more aware, be more acceptable to yourself and others and be changing your limited believes and improve your execution power.

 

On the way, you will find your life motivation, missions and be more self driven to live a free, powerful self. 

 

最後我請你總結了三個方面,今天的發現,自己的提升:你説:

開始感受自己的和感受,感受別人的感受,學習設身處地,換位思考,帶入別人的需要去看問題

更多從正面去看待孩子,看到更多孩子的潛能、美麗特質和能力

開始學習面對自己的焦慮,縮短焦慮的時間,delay自己的期望和對別人的要求

 

是的

内心的强大,源於慈悲和同理心,特別是對自己。

 

我覺得你從今天開始,潛意識上會有更大的覺知。正如我之前對你有這樣的信心:也是我們的信念,支持我去陪伴你。

 

我的信念:

 

傷害我們的不是事件本身,也不是情緒本身,而是我們對事件的演繹。

纍計的創傷導致的限制性的attitudesbeliefand habitual behaviors. It can be bit by bit to healing the wounded heart from childhood to adulthood  and to turn emotion to life transformation. 

 

感恩的是,我從中,幾乎每一個句話,每一個事情的態度和方法,也是我和自己的話:

我要和自己、孩子、先生提升心靈連結。好多學習。

 

Christine,你給我好多inspirationideas,我好要努力。

 

Thank you.

I love you. 

 

Donna

 

You need to have confidence in your self to make a change subconsciously  ( this is the key belief now you need to build )  and then you are making huge progress in a period of time.

 

 

 

可以每天找一個時間,靜靜地和自己講:

 

Be:我是一個有同理心、包容和輕鬆自在的人,

我是一個通情達理,溫柔慈悲的媽媽和太太。

我是一個不斷學習、積極、渴望成爲更好的自己的Christine

聚焦這個願景圖,享受這個達標的快樂。

 

Do:爲了達到這個夢想,我要每天和自己做與情緒對話的冥想,改寫信念的冥想,平靜安頓的冥想,我宗教的冥想。我要在行動上給孩子做一個榜樣:

做一個有智慧的去愛孩子的媽媽,更加溫柔的太太,真正愛自己的人。

 

Have:我值得擁有愛的流動的家庭,值得擁有愛我的孩子。我已經擁有這樣的心態,我就會擁有這樣的情感,拿出愛的行動,我就會有這樣的夢想成真的現實!

 

 

讓信念泉水流進心靈深處 

 

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/04/blog-post_20.html

 

Be-Do-Have 相信自己做的到!

You said

So now I think it is scary for him that I have a different opinion that I can't see him or really understand him. It make him angry and to retaliate he does the opposite of what I want to hurt me.

[23:40, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Our of my fears I want to get him to do certain  things over the years and it doesn't make him feel loved

 

If I can face my fear then I won't feel like I have to change his opinion. But it takes time and I have to be patient and have faith

 

I said

trust him to be on the right track and to live fully his dreams , even he will learn from lessons and mistakes. Soon he goes to university and you are only two at home. You will soon become free to some extent, it is time to find what is most important to yourself, while having spending most of your life time for others

 

[24:33, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Also I want to share an incident with you. I was in the car with my son when mentioned the price of the fuel has risen. He then mentioned  how lucky my husband can afford it and that many people who worked just as hard are having a hard time. I said yes dad works very hard. The context was he has said several times his dad is white and therefore privileged. Well I really think those are false lies the media feeds it the kids to divide the populace. And I resent it every time he suggests that our upper middle class status has something to do with his dad being white. Certainly many whites struggle a lot and many blacks and Asians are living very comfortable lives. He got very emotional when I tried to reason with him. And I said if you can choose not to use dad's resource if he think dad is privileged. I carried judgement and disdain towards him when I said those words

[24:37, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I thought about our interaction afterwards. Why do I get so uptight over it? Why do I always judge him so much. I could have said," Ben you have a big and sensitive heart and you feel for the disadvantaged ones. You see a lot of injustice in the world that you feel shouldn't be here. I know someday you will find a way to right the wrong. I am so proud of you."

[24:40, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I go to judgement and then  to correct/control instead of connecting with his underlying emotions.

[24:46, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: The fear energy is palpable and drives a lot of what I do and don't

[12:34, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: reading your text...

[12:45, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: I will give you big Five for your empathy and new perception at his position. . That is what you can do gradually. The good thing is you have the ability  to  reflect and alert of your judgement , instead of frankly discussion, sharing attitude can make things worse and hurt your son.  And yourself as well.

[12:58, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: No matter the media impact on the young generation or his own value system , 世界觀,價值觀 built from his childhood and teen time.. his intention is really kind to some extent - empathetic to the lower classes , people under the poverty line , and the disadvantaged ones.

[13:03, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: Ben has some issues to do in his life certainly, which is the reasons he is still exploring his inner world, pus him to be better. As he mentioned his Father's privileged statue, I  am more concern what he thinks to his own identity. How does he see himself , his father (Father's hard work and ability that he can see , not sure how he see his father effort ) .... When he grows up and supports himself, he will understand his family love bonding is always there.

[13:11, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: I can see your points. You can see from more angles. You are self made rich person as an Asian from zero penny to middle class. And you believe on yourself instead on outside factors. We share the same experiences... Probably our experiences give us some insights that Ben may not really hear before. You can share some family stories to let him know your early life and work... But need to be very careful as young guys may not want to be told. Tonality is the key and build proper communicative environment is also important. This is what I hope to do with you in the next stage. Communication Skill with Subconscious power.

[13:21, 3/7/2022] Donna Wong: "And I said if you can choose not to use dad's resource if he think dad is privileged. I carried judgement and disdain towards him when I said those words"                 it might /would hurt him very much, as he would feel he was not respected and you had no confidence in him... probably.  I had many family cases because of parents like this. Take time to heal. Remember it's OK to be not OK at this moment to you and see you can talk with him in another way with some recognition word to him...

[17:55, 3/7/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I know those words shamed him. I felt like he bit the hands that fed him.

[10:32, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: it's OK to be not OK ,

[10:34, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: Forgive self first , guilt is very damaging mentally and physically. I am thinking how to help

[10:36, 3/8/2022] Donna Wong: and your sleep quality plays crucial role in our reaction, decision, emotion control

 

[23:11, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong:  am self made psychological therapist. A long story... I studied Chemistry. Then I changed to business for  years.  In recent 15 years, I studied lots of positive psychology   many kinds of therapies, doing many cases, accumulating experience , healing myself, helping my families  and friends.  Then I started my own career on mental therapy and health coach

[23:12, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: almost 10 uears

[23:12, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: years

[23:12, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: on the field

[23:17, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: later we can  share more.  I helped some people to lose weight.  I found most health issues links with mental hindrance,  secondary  gains, traumatic issues, and depression.  So I use dream therapy and hypnosis to help them to make changes both mental and physically. Must come together according to my experience

[23:18, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: dream therapy is not just sleeping dreams,  it is a huge deep neurological stuff, a skills even u don't have dreams

[23:19, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: I can use the skill to help people to reach their dreams

[23:19, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: u got my meaning

[23:20, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My dream as in our goals?

[23:20, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: write it done

[23:20, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I second guess myself. I don't know if my goals come from my true self

[23:20, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: I will use my way to help

[23:21, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: let talk next week more

[23:21, 3/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Ok

[23:22, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: as you love walking or Yoga,  do it consistently

[23:23, 3/11/2022] Donna Wong: go to bed , good day and good sleep for me

[22:33, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: Hi, Christine

When you paid, please send the advice note to the group. Thank you. 🙏

[22:37, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: take your time

[22:41, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I'm sorry what advice note. I'm confused

[22:57, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: oh, just advise us you have paid with a note. I mean.

[22:59, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Got it

[22:59, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: you mean guilt to your husband? we changed topics so fast.

[23:00, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: Did u run marathon?

[23:00, 3/13/2022] Donna Wong: I wish I could some day

[23:03, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Yes once

[23:04, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: If you can run 6 miles you can run a Marathon

[23:55, 3/13/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: That is because I have ADD

[10:03, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: I see

[10:04, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: But I am aware. If I am not watching, my brian jumps all over the place🤨

[10:07, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: That is understandable.

ADD need to managed and not only by mental health,  also by food,  nutrition and physical exercises.  Let's talk more 17th

[10:11, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Awesome

[10:14, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: Good sleep

[10:15, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Thank you. Talk to you soon

[10:16, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: before sleeping, do breathing and self Affirmation in short minutes. very useful to have a quality sleep

[10:23, 3/14/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: What do I affirm

[10:33, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: Say to yourself: I love you, I love my inner JINJIN. I love my Hubby, I love my sons and daughter...I am going to make more health improvement, including mental and body and soul...for myself, for my own well being, that is same for my dearest family.

[10:34, 3/14/2022] Donna Wong: going to work n

As you have said:

 

 

 

回顧下上三次的healing你的成長和反思,我看到的你的變化

In the first section:

Your change comes to know others feelings better, and your feelings better:

第一次:focus on knowing your situations and the relationship conflicts with your son, how ot improve it.

最後我請你總結了三個方面,今天的發現,自己的提升:你説:

開始感受自己的和感受,感受別人的感受,學習設身處地,換位思考,帶入別人的需要去看問題

更多從正面去看待孩子,看到更多孩子的潛能、美麗特質和能力

開始學習面對自己的焦慮,縮短焦慮的時間,delay自己的期望和對別人的要求

 

是的

内心的强大,源於慈悲和同理心,特別是對自己。

 

我覺得你從今天開始,潛意識上會有更大的覺知。正如我之前對你有這樣的信心:也是我們的信念,支持我去陪伴你。

 

你講到自己的恐懼:

和孩子有不同意見,或他不聽你講的道理或立場,你會有fear

這些恐懼哪裏來?

源於你的童年,那次被校長大鬧,被老師閙,幾乎剔除學校,一間名校。你看到常常你被親密關係,孩子,不被明白,理解,都會有恐懼。

在第二次的深度交談中,我和你接觸你的内在小孩。讓她感受到被聆聽,被理解幫助你家裏内在的父母,去關懷一個被曲解,被批評的脆弱的心,那個靜靜。

你也理解父母和老師、校長多一些,對他們原諒多一些。

這是一次與自己核心情緒:“愛的匱乏”源頭的深度接觸。

你也看到,當年爸爸的情緒惡劣,媽媽脆弱和對金錢的態度,所給您們孩子帶來的嚴重創傷,一連串的心理陰影。

我也傳了好多資料,幫助你認識自己,認識陰影,如何和陰影做好朋友。

 

不知你看了沒有,

  DAY14 愛自己therapy

媽媽的故事,把愛傳出去

Day13  離開家,回到家

 

To let you know : 放手吧,孩子需要空間和自己的步伐,去感受這個世界,感受家庭的愛,離開家,就回到了家庭

與情緒對話的工作坊分享

如何不被別人、自己的情緒多困擾

Drama triangle

Day12

免疫力的產生,需要自我掌控:

 

心情管理

 

睡眠管理

 

飲食管理

 

體重管理

 

病痛管理...

 

提出需要一個holisticplan

我們的責任們就是要有意識地通過不同方法提升自己身體和心理健康,提升免疫力。不要把自己的生命外判給醫生;不要把自己的快樂與否交給別人。

Day 11

Praise theapy

贊美Ben先生和自己

[24:21, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: My progress is slow for now. My husband has so many good qualities. He is hard working, kind and gentle and very patient. He is a very loyal and also a creative problem solver when it comes to fixing things around the house.

[24:22, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Ben is very sensitive and headstrong. He has heart wounds now so it is not easy to spot his food qualities. He is trying to find himself now so it is a bit confusing as he develops

[24:24, 2/28/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I am inherently a fighter. I don't give up even when things get very tough. I can be a very good and generous friend but I tend to be a pleaser and still have to learn boundaries. Sometimes I asked myself am I really trying to help or am I doing it so they think well of me.

——————————

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the last course and healing weeks, you have made quite great progress in understanding others and yourself. The ability to feel your own feelings and others’ feelings improved.

Day10

Affirm your Inner Child! - 建構內在父母,擁抱內在小孩

Day 10 擁抱情緒  改寫信念,轉化生命

 

Dear Christine

 

打開自己的心,走進自己冰山下最隱蔽的世界,看到一個“盒子”裏還有一個沒有真正安撫、讀懂的孩子,或者幾個,在不同階段,不分年齡。這個孩子其實每天都在和你對話,表達情緒,投射情緒,只是沒有多些聆聽,她實在需要你的照顧和關懷。

 

此時此刻,你可以坐下來,做個冥想 -

 

INNER CHILD GUIDED MEDITAUION

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-_ExtpWL20

Day8 self esteem building

[23:50, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 擁抱情緒  改寫信念,轉化生命 Day 8                                  今天我們的傾談,你説:不知如何不受外界因素影響,得到内在平安,平靜。我想,也許以下朋友的歌聲、故事、可以給我們樹立任何時候,都可以找到快樂的榜樣

[23:52, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 歌唱者Nightird的自創“ It's OK” ,我感受到她内心的幸福和喜悅,可以用歌聲表達對生命的珍惜,同時對自己走向死亡的坦然.

I have a 2% chance of survival,. But 2% is not zero percent. 2% is something, I wish people knew how amazing it is.

她在告訴世界:雖然我的生命危在旦夕,但 It's OK. I accept it. I am happy.

不一定命長就一定幸福,不一定生活沒有任何困難才可以有幸福,活出自己的夢想,活的坦然,覺知當下,感覺自己是快樂的,就是幸福。

Night bird說:

You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy. 你不能等到人生不再艱難的時候才決定要活得快樂!

[23:53, 2/24/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Wow that is inspiring

[23:53, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: I was tearful.

[23:53, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZJvBfoHDk0

[23:55, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 去年美國達人秀有一位震驚全世界的參賽者,是一位身形非常瘦小,卻有著非常美麗的笑容的女生Nightbirde

唱著她的自創曲: It's Ok(沒關係的)

她很開朗的不斷說著她沒事,沒關係,她很好,即便她肺部、脊椎和肝臟都已經長滿了癌細胞。

當評審稱讚她的笑容時,她說:「謝謝,我希望可以讓多一點人知道我身上除了癌細胞以外,還有很多值得被看見的東西,我覺得這是很重要的。」

幾天前,Nightbirde離開了,在她31歲的時候。

雖然她離開了,但她留下了一首無與倫比的歌曲。

以及一句會不斷感動人們的回應:

You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy.「你不能等到人生不再艱難的時候才決定要活得快樂。」(Fowarded Facebook)

[23:56, 2/24/2022] Donna Wong: 共勉

 

然後,寫幾個字給自己的内在孩子,或者一封信。

 

想到什麽就是寫什麽,給自己多些自由free association free reflection...

 

以下是我的letter therapy 系列, 還有如何處理我有這三年困擾...,華山老師如何和他的父母從心靈上連結,雖然他們早已離世。https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/02/blog-post_32.html

 

[11:25, 2/23/2022] Donna Wong: 擁抱情緒 改寫信念,轉化生命 Day 7

 

讀懂自己 - 深度理解潛意識的運作

 

 情緒的機制與功能

 

情緒的四大功能,如何好好善用?

 

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/02/blog-post_93.html

[11:27, 2/23/2022] Donna Wong: 這個題目,我們可以深入探索,這是心理學的ABC,高深如海洋。

[11:28, 2/23/2022] Donna Wong: 用到生活中,才是真正的學習。我還在學習,一生的功課。

 

[12:16, 2/22/2022] Donna Wong: Day 6  22 2 2022   擁抱情緒 改寫信念,轉化生命

 

《離開家,才回到家》

這是我昨天的文章,前一晚上的課 《離家-回家》,很有啓發:什麽是離家,回家。

 

老師針對很多人和父母的關係出現困難,如何面對?

 

給我很多啓發和聯想,寫下我的反思和感受。

 

我想起自己如何在走出童年陰影的道路體驗,裏面有我的therapy文章做參考,幫助我們處理自己内在的創傷,減少情緒投射,提升身心健康、和諧家庭關係重要之路。

 

離開家,才回到家

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/02/blog-post_21.html

[12:22, 2/22/2022] Donna Wong: 情感投射與情緒投射

 

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2020/08/blog-post_3.html   明白情緒的機制,理解情緒的來意,學習如何處理的有理智、有智慧地去愛自己,愛別人

[12:26, 2/22/2022] Donna Wong: 以上有個個案,家長的意願和孩子的感受,如何看到情緒背後的深層次問題,原生家庭的問題。也許是我們做家長都要學習的地方。

 

擁抱情緒 改寫信念,轉化生命 Day 5

 

陰影的力量 🧘

 

陰影是我们不喜歡的性格傾向,我们自己的脆弱面,自己没有接纳的部分,投射到別人身上。

Carl Yung指出,『我們未完全接納自己的部份﹐通常會投射出去﹐變成「他人的問題」。這種投射機制,在生活裡無處不在﹕如果我對他人仍然抗拒,代表我對自己仍然批評,仍然未寬恕自己的過錯。相反,對他人有多接納﹐就代表對自己有多接納和寬恕。若我抗拒自己﹐就誰都會抗拒﹔不愛自己﹐誰也難以去愛。換言之,不愛自己﹐對他人的愛﹐往往是一種索取。”

 

 

我們每個人都可能有脆弱的時候,如 壓抑、憤怒、焦慮、恐懼、妒忌、內疚、缺乏安全感、自我價值觀感低落等等情緒。源頭往往和自己的原生家庭有關:對父親或母親的長期不滿、對於自己的童年陰影仍耿耿於懷, "觸景生情”, 可能會火山爆發, 或者選擇逃避……

 

 

這些,都是我們內在小孩的陰暗面,一旦它們被聆聽,被照亮,就會成為生命動力。

 

巴觀說:「當你面對自己的陰影自我,接納自己時,你內在的衝突就消失了。當衝突消失時,就會有能量。當有能量時,就會有喜悅。」消除持續的衝突是一項內在的工作,這是我們每個人都必須不斷在自己內在進行的。

 

每個人的內在都有一個super self,他有極強的調節力,反省力,覺悟能力,修復能力,求變的動力,他需要被愛和愛,安全感,追求幸福...

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpX3rTT6qxE

 

練習:

 

理解陰影,轉化陰影,讓陰影成為改變的動力

 

談談你最不喜歡有些人的一些什麼?你最討厭那些行為和價值觀?你不喜歡自己什麼?

 

你是如何覺擦自己的陰影,如何療愈自己的創傷,和陰影做好朋友?或思考下如何讓陰影成為改變的動力!

 

[13:19, 2/19/2022] Donna Wong: 擁抱情緒  改寫信念 轉化生命 Day 4

 

我知道你現在又要面對挑戰,也許有的來之自身,有的來自別人。心理有矛盾、壓力和不安;

 

想象你身邊有很多人在support你,其中也有我。

 

也許你已經平靜好多,懂得調節自己的心態。

 

給自己一個獨処時間,你可以聼聼我選給你的音樂,

 

The Little comfort

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qopCBa2BzMM

 

然後有時間,也可以讀下:

 

如何化解衝突?MY WIN WIN THERAPY

 

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/01/blog-post_6.html

 

聼聼

 

As I Began to Love Myself (inspiring video)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62oby83NtGw

[15:40, 2/19/2022] Donna Wong: 我的文章《如何化解衝突?MY WIN WIN THERAPY

主要講我工作和日常生活中的體會,從中的啓示。常常要做情緒急救,coaching and  mediation work

 

[10:27, 2/18/2022] Donna Wong: 擁抱情緒 改寫

信念,轉化生命 Day 3

 

你提到愛自己,讓我們具體探索一下,什麽是真正的愛自己。從最核心的潛意識部分 - 陰影 - shadow出發...

 

《愛自己,從接納自己開始》这篇文章,深深打動我:

讀給大家聽,(早前用普通話朗讀的),裡面還有我的感受,每次讀,都是一次反思,激勵,inspiration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7LnQBhlVfs&t=2s

[10:27, 2/18/2022] Donna Wong: “你越是忽略創傷,你就越被它耗盡;因為它會一直纏擾著你,讓我們一直被思緒所佔據。如果你可以將注意力放在創傷與痛苦上,傾聽它、經驗它,它就會消失了。舉例來說,你現在感到悲傷,覺知到悲傷的存在,接納它,允許自己去經驗那份悲傷。除非悲傷被認出來並且承認它,否則不會轉化。

巴觀說:「當你面對自己的陰影自我,接納自己時,你內在的衝突就消失了。當衝突消失時,就會有能量。當有能量時,就會有喜悅。」消除持續的衝突是一項內在的工作,這是我們每個人都必須不斷在自己內在進行的。”

明白到:

內在糾結,自我對抗,最消耗身體,消耗精神,導致身心疾病

[10:28, 2/18/2022] Donna Wong: 反思我們自己有什麽陰影、那些抗拒、沒有接納別人的地方,原來是沒有接納自己地方。

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BEDOHAVE

🥰🌈 擁抱情緒,改寫信念,轉化生命共修 Day 2                                                                                      在我們的談話中,最後我請你總結了三個方面,你的發現,自己的提升:你説:

開始感受自己的和感受,感受別人的感受,學習設身處地,換位思考,帶入別人的需要去看問題

更多從正面去看待孩子,看到更多孩子的潛能、美麗特質和能力

開始學習面對自己的焦慮,縮短焦慮的時間,delay自己的期望和對別人的要求。

我看到你的内心開始堅强了一些,内心的强大,源於慈悲和同理心,特別是對自己,然後對別人。

 

一旦我們開始有更多的同理心和慈悲心,我們就有智慧平靜自己,然後知道方法,或者改變方法,令自己都一些彈性。

 

你已經在改寫信念,有内疚、我做的不夠好,我不是一個好媽媽,慢慢改變為:

 

Be:我是一個有同理心、包容和輕鬆自在的人,

我是一個通情達理,溫柔慈悲的媽媽和太太。

我是一個不斷學習、積極、渴望成爲更好的自己的Christine

聚焦這個願景圖,享受這個達標的快樂。

 

Do:爲了達到這個夢想,我要每天和自己做與情緒對話的冥想,改寫信念的冥想,平靜安頓的冥想,我宗教的冥想。我要在行動上給孩子做一個榜樣:

做一個有智慧的去愛孩子的媽媽,更加溫柔的太太,真正愛自己的人。

 

Have:我值得擁有愛的流動的家庭,值得擁有愛我的孩子。我已經擁有這樣的心態,我就會擁有這樣的情感,拿出愛的行動,我就會有這樣的夢想成真的現實!

 

可以每天找一個時間,靜靜地和自己講以上的冥想句子,同時加上自己的感受和新的具體的信念和方法在Be Do Have 練習裏。

 

我每天和你在大氣中默默一起來做Be Do Have,相信我們的共振頻率會給自己正能量,帶著慈悲和愛,面對每一天的挑戰,享受每一天的生活,尋找每一天的的快樂。

 

[11:04, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: Day1  16 2 2022        🌈🥰                                                                                                                                                          Today we start the 14 days practice to embrace our emotion enhance ourselves to change limited belief and perception in our daily life  ( 改寫信念,轉化生命的共修)

[11:08, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 昨天,我們一起開始經歷擁抱情緒 改寫信念 轉化生命的過程

回到自己内在的家,感受自己的感受,別人的感受,激發慈悲心,compassion,感受一旦轉化,情緒的到釋放,得到解讀,信念就開始重寫,生命轉化就靜靜的開始。

 

Here is the another meditation for the course:

 

相信每一个人都有情緒。如果說情緒是一個内在不帶面具的本我,或者是自己的内在小孩,那麽,它會用各種方式去表達自己。與自己心靈連結,深度讀懂自己,需要明白什麽是情緒的表達方式。

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ2Nt3Qlu-Q&t=2s

[11:09, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 睡前,你可以聽聽我的這個情緒和我們説什麽的冥想

[11:39, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 有很多層次呢

[14:42, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 最近的個案,我再次得到這個感覺:

《與情緒創傷說再見》的修行 - 個案的啓迪 (2)

潛意識裏,不是表面是去可理解,就會發現:別人的故事,其實也是我們自己的一部分,每次都是很好的教材。   

也給我帶來反思,檢視自己:

孩子幼年時,因爲我和先生不懂得溝通,爲了孩子的病而爭拗,我睡的不好,長期失眠,產生焦慮,先生也有焦慮和工作壓力,常常在孩子面前,大家把壓力和情緒都投射出來,給孩子留下深深的洛印,童年創傷。

以前我好内疚沒有給他一個愉快的童年,現在我在改變:内疚也沒有,只會對自己有害,對家人也有害,因爲内疚的情緒常常會帶出抱怨和指責,有走回加害者和受害者的陷阱。              

我們家長也會犯錯,向孩子表白和道歉,就放過自己吧,從錯誤中學習。生命就是在嘗試中進步。 

all coaching is self coaching.

正念心理學可以幫助我們找到問題源頭,提升心理和生理上的免疫力。每個人都可以做自己的心理醫生,提升心理質素,自我轉化情緒,幸福就在身邊,就在心閒。

以下課程,我們感恩地見證了學員的轉變和進步,學習做自己的生命教練。要瞭解更多和參加我們的課程,請閱:https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/12/routine-course.html

[18:53, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 以下是我自己對於内疚情緒的修行方法:孩子幼年時,因爲我和先生不懂得溝通,爲了孩子的病而爭拗,我睡的不好,長期失眠,產生焦慮,先生也有焦慮和工作壓力,常常在孩子面前,大家把壓力和情緒都投射出來,給孩子留下深深的洛印,童年創傷。

以前我好内疚沒有給他一個愉快的童年,現在我在改變:内疚也沒有,只會對自己有害,對家人也有害,因爲内疚的情緒常常會帶出抱怨和指責,有走回加害者和受害者的陷阱。              

我現在的看法是:我們家長也會犯錯, 真心向孩子表白和道歉,就放過自己吧,從錯誤中學習。生命就是在嘗試中進步。 

all coaching is self coaching.

正念心理學可以幫助我們找到問題源頭,提升心理和生理上的免疫力。每個人都可以做自己的心理醫生,提升心理質素,自我轉化情緒,幸福就在身邊,就在心閒。

[18:56, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: 你可以把各種衝突中的慣性情緒、身體狀態和感覺寫出來,就看到背後的感受,也許幫找到一些限制性的信念。然後寫出如何跨越,用你自己的方法,我們稍後電話繼續深入探討和分享。

[21:24, 2/16/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Last night and this morning my son was very rude to me. I didn't retort and was able to become aware of my fear, my judgement and my disgust. I am not where Im grateful for my challenges but I am able to not doing things to push away. I watched it and let it hurt

[22:02, 2/16/2022] Donna Wong: oh, you are getting  calmer, keeping a distance to Ben's emotion. Health boundary, you start to train yourself to have a boundary, not falling into the trap of drama triangle. That was very promising,  appreciated 👏 👍

After a while when Ben's getting back to.normal state, you can try to talk peacefully or see how to help him ... He must have some pressure or ...

Self Affirmation daily:

Say to yourself: I love you, I love my inner JINJIN. I love my Hubby, I love my sons and daughter...I am going to make more health improvement, including mental and body and soul...for myself, for my own well being, that is same for my dearest family.

2

當你做錯事,不記得,失去東西,你會有恐懼,對自己極大的否定和批判。你對自己的ADD有很大的批判和内疚,說對不住先生和孩子。

這是你需要處理的。

I am not good enough

I am stupid

I am very clumsy

 

 

 

在我們的整個生命中,我們與許多的關係連結,例如與父母、伴侶、孩子、朋友、同事及其他人的關係。在關係裡,我們全部的情感都會展現出來,無論是正面的或負面的,快樂的或不快樂的情感,連結的關係都會反映出我們的內在,幫助我們覺知到自己。

我們總是認為自己在關係中的傷痛是別人造成的,尤其是當你覺得自己受到批判時。你一定遇過激怒你的人;你的傷痛確實在影響你,創造出你所有的情況。如果它已經成為你生命中的模式,如果你覺得有一個傷痛一而再、再而三的出現,那它肯定與其他人無關。無論你喜不喜歡,你的成功與失敗,特別是你的人際關係,都被你的過去所限定。

被我們刻意忽略或壓抑的傷痛,或者我們沒意識到的,但確實在內在影響著我們的傷痛,往往都會在關係中浮現。這就是為什麼關係是認識自己非常有效的工具。巴觀說:「生命是認識自己的探索。」要認識自己,你需要一面鏡子,關係就是你的鏡子。每一段你與別人的關係,都反映了你自己的某個面向,它要不是反映出你真正的樣子,就是反映出你有傷痛的面向,或你所憎恨的面向。

當你與親愛的人、伴侶、子女、父母、朋友或商業夥伴起了爭執時,你真正在對抗的是你自己的陰影,你將它投射在那個人身上。你有沒有注意到人們會批評朋友或工作場所的同事:「我討厭他這麼做,我討厭他做事的方式。」其實,我們真正討厭的是我們無意識陰影自我的那一面,也就是我們內在的創傷;這部分通常是被壓抑的,現在被激發了。每當按下這顆「按鈕」,我們的陰影部分就被刺激了;我們身邊的人反映了這點。通常我們不希望看見它。

 

你越是忽略創傷,你就越被它耗盡;因為它會一直纏擾著你,讓我們一直被思緒所占據。如果你可以將注意力放在創傷與痛苦上,傾聽它、經驗它,它就會消失了。舉例來說,你現在感到悲傷,覺知到悲傷的存在,接納它,允許自己去經驗那份悲傷。除非悲傷被認出來並且承認它,否則不會轉化與移動。

巴觀說:「當你面對自己的陰影自我,接納自己時,你內在的衝突就消失了。當衝突消失時,就會有能量。當有能量時,就會有喜悅。」消除持續的衝突是一項內在的工作,這是我們每個人都必須不斷在自己內在進行的。


摘自:「愛,從接納自己開始」

這篇文章談到忽略創傷,忘記陰影的結果是非常消耗性的!忘記創傷陰影的結果,只能是更加被陰影和創傷籠罩,活在過去,潛能發揮大受影響,就算事業有成,也沒有享受過過程,因為可能並不是自己想要的,只是活在別人的期望中!

同時提醒我們唯有寬恕原諒,才有出路!第一個要寬恕的,不是別人,而是自己。

 

1My summary to her recent changes

Feeings, self and others empathy , self reflection

and corn emotion ( guilt, serious deficiency in love, low self-value , impulsive emotion,

and limited belief ( I am ADD, I am very clumsy, I am not good enough, I am right , you are wrong,

If you don’t change , how you can survive…)

2

Self-summary of her improvement, affirmation and room for improvement

3 Article study

Inner child therapy

3

Be self affirmation

do have

What do u want to improve?

DO

Have Belief change

I believe

I trust myself

I deserve to …

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