Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Everyone has power to solve their own poblems



Dr Chao Hua Shang’s workshop about life coach


12-6-20110

Tonight, Eugene and I had another workshop called Life Coach organized by Dr Chao Hua Shang DP (Dream Possible), a non-profit community founded by Dr Chao.

What is coach?

In this workshop, Dr Chao introduced what coaching is about and why we need to be our own coach and how to coach others.

生命教練工作坊

一百年後,「我」煙消雲散,什麼也不是。憑著愛,我卻能發揮自己,把握當下,創造無限可能性。

「生命教練」是甚麽?就是讓「我」學習放下自我,把愛送開去,發揮正面感染力,讓身邊的人更加清淨和快樂,坐標清晰,充滿力量和愛。

千里馬常有,伯樂不常有。每個歷史偉人,都需要智囊,在逆境中給予支持和鼓勵,一針見血。生命教練便是伯樂,有效運用特殊管理技術,啟導和支持受導者,創造夢寐以求的夢想和幸福。

沒有教練,就沒有世界級運動員。生命教練不是輔導,更不是治療,而是非常專業的技能,透過真摯聯繫、深度發問,讓對方真正醒悟,找回自己的方向、坐標和力量。其實,每個人都有足夠內在資源,去解決自身的問題。所以,教練不會給予答案,而是讓受導者打破自我設限的框框,發揮無盡潛能,焦點不是問題和困難,而是出路和可能性。

生命教練的終極目標,是讓每個人都成為自己生命的教練,懂得自我啟導,在困難迷失時,找回出路和力量。

在這個獨一無二的工作坊,你會學習到:

• 如何一針見血啟導對方,讓她/他真正醒悟?

• 如何在十秒鐘內令對方真正聆聽自己?

• 如何掌握到有效聯繫和發問的竅門?

• 如何創造成功的溝通:焦點不是自己表達什麼,而是對方收到什麼?

• 如何深層聆聽,確定對方真正的需要、期望和信念?

• 如何提昇自己的親和力和感染力?

• 如何讓自己迷失時,懂得找回出路和方向?

Although I learned some coach courses, this workshop gave me a much clearer picture about coaching: coaching is to assist people to find their navigations, their identities, their potentials, their goals and purpose of life; to empower them to practice on their goals on daily basis, to adjust their goals and finally to achieve their goals.

It is a growth up process beyond age limit.

Dr Chao’s belief:

Dr Chao believes that everyone should have built-in a potential and power to solve/resolve their own problems; everyone should have the awareness and responsibility to take care of their emotions.

With this belief, we can find our own potential to take responsibility to what we do, to find our own ability to solve problems and to face challenge ahead, and live a fulfilling life; staying happy is not a questions but a choice.

He thinks that most problems are not problems unless you think it is a problem.

Most problems are illusive, imaginary and even if it is a problem, it is usually exaggerated or magnified in one’s inert world even before it happens.

Why do we need coach or self-coach?

Everyone has blind points. It is not a problem unless we don’t want to realize our blind points.

How to find our own and other’s blind points:

By ASKING QUESTIONS:

Problems well identified are problems half solved.

But how to ask questions:

First, put down self and ego - the ‘small me’, which is driven by fear of outsider’s reactions to self, self-esteem; face, fame, looking good to others, the need to control and to be safe.

Second, don’t expect too much when doing coaching. High expectation will create tense, stress and pressure to the coach and the coached. Relaxation and enjoyment will give your more wisdom in assisting other to solve problems.

Third, to focus on the others’ issue instead your own esteem or your own perceptions or ideas - be a good listener; instead of giving answers, to inspire the person to find their own responsibility to the issues and own answers to their problems. How? Asking questions objectively and multi-dimensional so that exploration on finding answers will set one free from their own black-boxes, where one seems getting lost.

You can treat yourself as another you – a small self and /or big self when you coach yourself.

Forth, build a sensational conversation and connection with the prospect or coachee:

• Try to fully use eye contact and keep yourself at the same level with him/her to avoid creating distant feelings.

• Keep using the person’s name, nicked name but not surname when starting sentences.

• Keep observing, finding strengths, merits of coachee from any pieces of talks, praising constantly to rebuild the confidence of the coached person.

Keys to be a life coach (yourself or family or as a profession)

What DP coach impresses me most is its emphasis on more about coaches’ attitude in the introduction workshop: the quality of humanity, compassion, loves, caring is essential to be a good coach.

Dr Chao’s belief in people’s self-potential to heal their soul and repairing power is the most important part I learnt.

It is my dream t to be a good life coach, at least to be my own, my family and my friends’. I promise myself to take DP course ASAP because DP community gave me a sense of family, sharing and friendship. I like this atmosphere to learn growing up.

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