Thursday, April 4, 2013

A celebration of life through visulisation of death


Our Visa group discussion this Tuesday night was unforgettable in my life. I have never ever had such joy and excitement to talk about our final ceremony after death.

Our coaches first shared their attitude to death:

Esther felt no any regret if she has life and death issue today. All of her children have been grown up and well matured to face life challenge. I admire her so much.

Louisa shared the period when she took care of her mother at her period life, in which she realized life is a present and constantly considering the meaning of life : it is not how long we live but what we have done benefit others and how much we have lived up our dreams. I couldn't agree more.

Conchita's sharing about her husband's experience and lesson was profound:  pressure and relationship issue can cause deep depression and cancer! She is determined to not repeat the mistakes by learning relaxation and set a good example to her children in create happy, relaxing family. I was much relieved to see her transformation in face death issue. What an impressive mother she is to me!

Maggie's ceremony was simple and sweet: A big banana shown "Life is a box of chocolate" implies we never know which one is sweet or  ... The result is not important but the process: just to embrace the change in life and face it, enjoy it no matter it is sweet or bitter. I really appreciated her creative ceremony arrangement. She also wants to set a fund for her son's future and study. She will make a good preparation and responsible arrangement before the final day to come.



She would use " A wonderful world" in the hall of the ceremony:

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
They're really sayin...*spoken*(I ....love....you).

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than I'll never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world
.

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/l/louis+armstrong/what+a+wonderful+world_20085347.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=m5TwT69i1lU

For me, this topic was one of my favorites despite that it was a taboo in Chinese society.

Death issue to me used to be a fearful topic but curious as well.



When I was 4 and half years old and my brother 3, while we were playing by a pond covered by green weeds perfectly. My brother dropped into water by mistaking it as a grass field. I cried frantically. After a short while, a university student rushed to the scenes and saved his life finally when he dashed him to a clinic. At that time, I followed them to the clinic anxiously. Since then, a seed of love and compassion has buried in my mind.

When I was in my 7,  a boy sitting next to me was dead of drowning. I was in the scenes of his rescue and watched his burying. I was so scared.


When I was 10, my icon was 雷锋, a hero at that age. He died of risking his own life to save others. I started to think my possible death causes: death by rescuing other's life would be the best to me; I started to have a visualization of my death and to consider how to die with a value.

Many years ago, my grandma from my mother side died. Just before her departure at that night, she deeply wished me to have a good marriage. She died very young with heart attack probably due to over-exhaustion. As our three were raised up by her, I feel she has never left us and she always live in my mind.

Then my grandma from my father side died at her high age - 91. She was a Christian and her ceremony was very simple but warm and heartfelt. Her calmness in facing adversity impressed me so much that I think about her often in my life.

When I became an insurance agent, death benefit or living benefit was a core topic in our work.  I consider life insurance agents are extremely meaningful career as death has a positive impact to build our responsibility to our beloved ones.

Then it came to my father-in-law's cancer treatment at the hospital: When I visited him, he told me " In facing diseases, the rich and the poor share the same degree of suffering. Take care of yourself daily." His words reminded to take care our own health

When my son was under delivery on the operation theater, I had a nightmare that I had a bad bleeding out of control at the operation room. I was going to die... This was the first time for me to consider how important my life was to my baby and the family.

In the DP courses, what the most reward to me is I start to face death issue, accept it and befriended with it in my daily life: treat every day as the last day of life as my icon Steve Jobs said:

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/steve_jobs.html#x11HjAAxfmQZGujg.99



Whenever I think about death, I think about meaning of life - others' life will become happier or different because of my existence.  I would like my life to bring happiness and joy no matter how minor it is.



Based on this philosophy, I would like to have a cheerful ceremony of life instead of memory of myself in a traditional way, in which I can't see anything in the traditional ceremony to serve the people who love me so much anyway.

A very cheerful recent photo to be shown on the wall surrounded by hundreds of roses, different other flowers and woods, all of my favorite kinds of plants.



                                                 High West Mountain in HK (2-2012)

Have you seen the silver linings beaming from the clouds?



People will sing AMAZING GRACE to express gratitude to life and show my thanks to people who have ever helped me in my life.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.


http://www.constitution.org/col/amazing_grace.htm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4qbmPpfG6s

Afterwards " You raise me up" as a gratitude of mime to all people is to sing for my parents, family and my mentors and my icons who have been helped me once in my life again, esp. my parents and my mentors I have been met or online.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.


http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/joshgroban/youraisemeup.html.

A note with a poet below:

I will be turned into

A glimpse of wave stroking the shore,

A lining of sunlight warming your heart,

A breeze of wind refreshing your face,

And a tuft of flowers smiling to you!

 The note will be read by my son to express my deep thanks to my parents, hubby and all of my family, relatives; my brother and my sister and their families; and all teachers and mentors; to express my learning from my life -

 To find myself through serving others; to heal myself through helping others and to find happiness through helping others;

 The greatest love is to learn how to love ourselves;

 The quality of life is quality of communication;

Live at this moment and live up our dreams fully is my final wish to all people.

I have determined to donate any useful organs to people in need and spread my ash to the South China Sea so that people who love me can see me any time when looking at the sea and any living things from the sea - just go back to nature, we come from H2O and now I would be one of the drop of the ocean, being embraced by the Mother of nature - a blessing indeed, I believe.

Writing at this moment, the saying from Dr Wah Shan that "If I was nothing, I could be everything." Speaking to my mind...

When I went out of the restaurant after three hours talking, I was rejuvenated with a kind of unspeakable gratitude and enlightenment. 

 Things that I was familiar with around me looked so fresh to me - the old bridge, the street I used to live many years ago and the Time Square I like to go...

Life is a box of chocolate ... Life is a present: just live fully with your dreams...



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