7 7 2022
we have fgone throug
inner child process
Be Do have
anxiety releaseprocess
dream therapy
gratitude
emotion listen to
relaxaing
你的成長,我眼中:
true learning is unlearning the lies we have been taught.
How to deal with depression:
你發現運動后看事物都正面好多, 同一件事情,不同角度,perception 不同,你的projection、能量都不同。
逆境是人生學習一部分,是瞭解自己、改變自己,療愈自己的渠道,是成長的契機。所以你會越來越堅强,心靈的强大,走出ego shell, 走出陰影和童年創傷越來越快。
這樣一個信念,也是我們一直以來的主旨。
How to see adversity?
我問你如何總結自己這一段時間的成長和感恩,你給我的答案非常亮麗,是你自己内在發出的光芒,照亮了自己的shadow,才有如此深刻的感悟:
逆境、挫敗未必是壞事,善用逆境和挫敗,覺察自己,接納自己,逆境成爲發揮自己的潛能,改變命運的契機。
運動、大自然療愈
當他感到情緒低落,提不起勁,要倒下時,他會多些休息。但睡得多也不行,他慢慢又回到他喜歡的運動上:跑步,騎單車,去大自然走走,開始是帶著疲累的身體去,聽聽鳥兒的歌聲,小溪的流水聲,吸吸樹林的空氣,他興奮的告訴我:回來時帶著輕鬆的腳步回到家,整個人的面貌都不同了。
是的,因為人需要曬太陽,製造血清素等身體需要荷爾蒙,幫助轉化自己看事物的方式。
這是我昨天給你的幾個問題,你的答案,令我驚喜和感動、欣慰。
給自己depression/anxiety , 打分,從最低谷到最好狀態 10 - 1,
我從你的夢境變化,從你的這幾天分享,看到你在走出來,所以我supposed和確實相信你有自我療愈的力量,我你是什麽令你慢慢走出來?用了什麽方法?堅持這些方法,你會有實質性的改變,潛意識的成長。
你説:
On depression ratings, it was 8. Right now it is about 5. I set up small goals like reading scriptures, remind myself to do small things well and to complete any task I started. I also make myself do exercise like hiking and biking.
從這裏開始,今天晚上你的時間,我們更加深入探索如何走出depression haze 陰霾。
你看到一個用大自然療愈法、幫助我們serotonin和melatonin分泌。通過運動療愈自己,重新站立,繼續好好生活下去的自己,是的,自我調節,我們的細胞,可以自我修復。
你看到一個通過meditation去感受自己的感受,去觀賞自己的身體變化,感受痛症和stress, pressure,可以幫助你轉化情緒,轉化身心狀態,這是因爲冥想幫助釋放安多芬,釋放帶有慈悲心的催產素和放鬆自己的荷爾蒙,你看事物的角度也寬幅了。沒有那麽緊。比如Ben放學很累,休息一下,你不會覺得不安了。太好了,這樣的方法看事物,你會放鬆,寬鬆別人。
你説的好:通過冥想,你感受到、看到大開眼睛所看不到的東西,比現實更加現實,真實。那就是你回到了自己愛的家庭,你内在的家!真正感受自己身體和感受,情緒的感受,愛自己的表現,用到了自我療愈的力量,這和你的夢境 - I was in agony curling up on the couch. I was exhausted but couldn't sleep. My heart hurt a lot and to then I felt like a new heart was growing underneath the old one. I prayed for it to get stronger because I can sense I was already feeling better
4 5 2022
這個個案的分享:
心胸和角度 - 個案成長系列
今天,我的一位心理療愈朋友告訴我,她發現自己的心態有了不少改變,連自己都覺得很奇妙。看事物的角度多了一些,看別人的尺度寬了一些,自己也覺得輕鬆不少。以前會用自己的價值觀去判斷別人,覺得不對,應該怎樣,令大家都不舒服。
現在她會慢一點,學習先感受別人的心情和出發點,結果,她看到以前看不到的別人,他們的優點和美麗,對自己也沒有那麽綁緊。和孩子的溝通也慢慢提升,她帶著謙卑的心去聆聽,給孩子多了空間,大家有機會分享自己内心世界了。
對別人的尺度,源於對自己的尺度。看到別人的美,也就是活出自己的美。
以前,別人一句話,一個表情,都可以牽動她的情緒,覺得人家在看低自己,其實是自己看不起自己。現在她明白了,都是自己的投射,自己沒有安全感,沒有歸屬感導致的焦慮外射而已。和童年創傷息息相關。
當内在小孩成長了,接納自己多了,自我欣賞多了,自我價值感就强化起來,内心强大起來。慢慢,對外,就少一些看不順眼,多一些理解和包容,多一份喜悅。焦慮感自然會大大減輕。
多從別人的角度看事情,聯想到我和媽媽的相處:
老人家有自己對疾病一套看法:害怕知道越多,煩惱越大,就一直不去面對。
昨天的我會有擔心和焦慮,就會不停去勸她,也令她不舒服,發脾氣。現在,我開始不再强求自己,我要放下”不做就會内疚和後悔的自我懲罰“。也想想她自己身心壓力,是她還沒有能力面對的。
不如尊重她的意願,到時再決定吧,不爲明天而擔憂。
最終,每個人都要爲自己生命負責任。我不斷和自己說。
雖然對於媽媽的痛症,兩種方法的動機都是愛,每一種都有好處,也有弊處,關鍵在於當下,可以帶來什麽結果。
我也看到:自己的溝通能力,還要提升。
療愈別人,也在療愈自己。All coaching is self coaching.
和先生分享:孩子感受不到我們的愛,先生怎麽説?
[10:31 PM, 7/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I just want to make sure I make the best use of our last session together
[10:31 PM, 7/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: So I want to be prepared with as many questions as I can
[10:32 PM, 7/11/2022] Donna Wong: oh, that's great, that scattering brain is working to get more understanding about yourself and others probably. I love you to be serious 💓
[10:34 PM, 7/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Sometimes I come across as not serious because I feel overwhelmed and I give up....at least momentarily
[10:35 PM, 7/11/2022] Donna Wong: yes, that's human, we all are the same, but we also want to keep improving. today I did preparation and I was moved to see your subconscious change
[10:36 PM, 7/11/2022] Donna Wong: we have another week to share, to discuss and questioning are my favorite
[10:41 PM, 7/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Part of the thing I want to explore is how to let go og guilt and shame about my kids. Chinese really believe that how kids turn out depends on parents. Americans don't as much. I want to see the truth take responsibility where it is mine to take and change and let my kids take responsibilities that are theirs to take
[10:42 PM, 7/11/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I want to find acceptance and peace and love my life and not waste more time on regret and sorrow. Find blessings in adversities and even in terrible mistakes
[11:17 PM, 7/11/2022] Donna Wong: that is great. We had constantly discussion on this topic - guilt and shame, anxiety and fears. It is time as you said to take action to give them a free hand and to take responsibility of their own. Do you best to make change and they will change for sure.
[11:17 PM, 7/11/2022] Donna Wong: awesome, keeep going
[11:36 PM, 7/11/2022] Donna Wong: u have done a lot to learn to accept self and your hubby and kids can see you are different. I can see your change despite I cannot see in person
内在孩子成長了
情緒轉化 - 内在小孩療愈法 (INNER CHILD THERAPY)
https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/03/blog-post_19.html
我允許,我接納,我經歷 ( script)
Setting boundaries inside out
從内到外的健康界限
練習二:健康界線
Yes :贊美對方的出發點,感受對方的感受
No: 清晰表明自己的健康界限,千萬不要burnt out 自己
Yes:達到雙贏
1、誠實問自己:目前有甚麼關係,讓我覺得委屈受壓、表裏不一?我們毋須否定這段關係,而是學習健康界線,讓這段關係更加健康成熟,讓自己更加身心合一。
2、我們需要清晰自身的情感底線,有甚麼是自己不能接受的,譬如對方情緒發洩、惡意攻擊、性暴力、感情冷漠、侵犯隱私等。
3、嘗試與對方直接溝通,找出大家都滿意的雙贏方案。健康界線,不是劃清界線。健康界線之目的是創造更美好的關係。請誠實問自己的意圖:我是否願意與對方坦誠溝通,創造雙贏?
4、請確保自己心平氣和,放下批判和投射,放下改變對方的慾望,放下我高你低的道德高地,完全是平等尊重的善意溝通,所以需要首先具體欣賞對方。
5、溝通時,首先具體講出欣賞對方的地方,感謝對方的努力和支持,讓對方完全收到我們的真誠善意。
6、具體講出自己的底線,講出自己難以接受的地方,過程用心分享我的感受和需要,而非批判對方。所以請放下「你令我、你搞到我、你逼我」這種批判和攻擊性的指責;可以說:「我覺得、我感受到、我體驗到」。
7、請主動提出建設性的雙贏方案,然後用心聆聽對方的回應。健康界線,通常需要多次來回往返的溝通,才逐漸清晰。每次溝通,需要確保自己聽到對方的需要,並放下改變對方的慾望。
華山談受害三角與情緒勒索
DREAM THERAPY
dream power inspiration
I had another dream where I was waiting to take the ferry and watching the water. All of a sudden waves started to come over me and next thing I know I am in the middle of an ocean and loving it. The vastness of the ocean and the cleansing waves were so grand and magnificent and I am in the middle of it
2
Christine:
I had another dream where I was waiting to take the ferry and watching the water. All of a sudden waves started to come over me and next thing I know I am in the middle of an ocean and loving it. The vastness of the ocean and the cleansing waves were so grand and magnificent and I am in the middle of it
My feedback
dream power, healing power inside vividly
it is very lovely and powerful dream. as a self inspiration
Christine:
Sometimes I feel like true learning is unlearning the lies we have been taught. I feel like I am standing in front of 汪洋大海 and 一無所知. It is exciting and overwhelming at the same time
Donna:
agreed fully, giving me a sense of resources.
Sometimes we think we have learnt or built in so much already, but in facing problems, we are still feeling 措手不及,平時知道的東西,都未必可以拿出來, 只能靠慣性思維,慣性行為,但微觀看,其實我們是在改變,需要不斷反思和調整。If we still repeat unwanted history , we have not installed the learning into our subconscious mind. Subconscious mind like a baby learning to standinf up and walk. Endless falling down and getting up practice to truly master the skills, let our body and muscles eeply get the imprint , memory of the program the learning and teaching
That is why we need to repeat learning, to ask questions and to reflect, and to practice, to do assessments , that is I said review 回顧, 反思,調整,進步。
Donna:
夢境中,冥想中,我們看到這個美麗的小孩,智慧的高人,你的夢境正是這樣的寫照。相信你看到了
3
[6:36 PM, 7/6/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Donna I had a very strange dream. My husband and I were in Hawaii. That was where my first college was and I went for two years. We met an Asian lady whom I remembered was in the same school and her husband who was white as well. He was abusive to her. They had a cute little girl. Then we all were entering a room to attend a wedding or some kind of celebration. I saw the mean husband being mean to his wife and I called him out. After he entered the room he closed the door and locked me out. My husband was already in. I then yelled and my husband heard me and turned around and I told him. Without opening the door to let me in he grabbed the other guy and they got into a fight. The next thing I know the door was open and my husband had 拜天地with the other lady. I found him and asked him to come outside and explain why he didn't talk to me first. He said he couldn't at that moment. I said he doesn't leave with me now we would get a divorce. He then left with me and told me there are too many factors and too much to explain given the circumstances. I said I was right there and for something that is so impactful he wouldn't even consult me first. Then the little girl told me she needs a home to go to and she doesn't want a mean dad. I told her she can always come to my house. Then I woke up.
[6:39 PM, 7/6/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: Thing is I can totally see my husband being that type of nice guy but to marry another woman without talking to me first, he knew he would lose me over that. Maybe I watched too many Asian dramas where it is no big deal for men to marry many women.
[10:13 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: reading your dream
[10:14 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: very important dream or profound dream again
[10:14 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: it is not ablle to tell as u have known dream are very condensed and deeeeeep
[10:15 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: how is your situation now? not known for a whine
[10:16 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: when was the dream occurr
[10:16 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: ?
[10:16 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: the current situations and background is the one of the keys
[10:16 PM, 7/6/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I'm been trying to do some deep exploring of my pyshe
[10:17 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: so dreams are the best material to know ourselves
[10:17 PM, 7/6/2022] Donna Wong: no doubt
[10:22 PM, 7/6/2022] Christine再見情緒創傷: I was betrayed after I helped someone
Christine said: 8 7 2022
Not like very busy but tired a lot. I had another dream where I was waiting to take the ferry and watching the water. All of a sudden waves started to come over me and next thing I know I am in the middle of an ocean and loving it. The vastness of the ocean and the cleansing waves were so grand and magnificent and I am in the middle of it.
Sometimes I feel like true learning is unlearning the lies we have been taught. I feel like I am standing in front of 汪洋大海 and 一無所知. It is exciting and overwhelming at the same time.
agreed fully, giving me a sense of resources.
Sometimes we think we have learnt or built in so much already, but in facing problems, we are still feeling 措手不及,平時知道的東西,都未必可以拿出來, 只能靠慣性思維,慣性行為,但微觀看,其實我們是在改變,需要不斷反思和調整。If we still repeat unwanted history , we have not installed the learning into our subconscious mind. Subconscious mind like a baby learning to standing up and walk. Endless falling down and getting up practice to truly master the skills, let our body and muscles deeply get the imprint , memory of the program the learning and teaching
That is why we need to repeat learning, to ask questions and to reflect, and to practice, to do assessments , that is I said review 回顧, 反思,調整,進步。
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