今天的section， 一開始看到你的燦爛的笑容，我相信，内在的平靜，學習愛自己的決心，慢慢開始在你心裏種下種子。真的好鼓舞！
你說：其實你還是很累的。忙碌了一天，還做了trading，可以安定坐下來，探索自我，學習自己的内心不同的自己，真的要好好贊美、加獎自己！給自己好多LIKES！
你説：常常内在有不同的聲音，天生性格的自己 （ 無畏無懼，勇往直前，衝出香港，衝出這個充滿悲情和壓抑的環境），經歷過創傷的自己 （ 有shame，深深的内疚和恐懼...擔心的自己），長期渴望的自己 ( 想improve自己的環境，買車，Alaska， diving...)，也有勇於學習新事物，大膽追求財富和finance independent 的自己...。有時，自己都不知道怎樣做，才可以活出自己，有沒有内疚。
That's human, that's everyone as me. No one is saint 聖人。 We are just to learn to be complete and better self.
今天，我們進一步深入學習和情緒對話，與我們的核心情緒和解，和焦慮恐懼做朋友，不搞内在抗爭，搞團結，善用焦慮和恐懼，成爲我們轉化生命的動力！生命的GPS！
和先生的關係：
財富上的看法：
共同點：Intentions：
大家都想爲這個家，為自己的夢想，你的夢想非常有價值和意義，all u need is to get it across to him
差異 Differences：
先生的恐懼源於他的價值觀和對新事物投資缺乏認知：你的手法不是他的那杯茶，價值觀不同，(沒有對錯, 如果他堅持你是錯的，不會這樣包容你），at least, but he did not force you to stop , instead， his insecurity and fear is going away.
He just need 安全感，safety, bigger comfort zoon for conservative people as my husband - a machinic engineer, Ocean ship surveyor. All he need is safety. Safety is life and death issues in his point of views, and his view was so strong that affect everything in daily life, though I know he has been traumatized too much year by year from his past experiences and he is still living in the past. I have to know his history so that I can live myself at ease and respect his attitude without victimized feelings. ( 課題分離，每個人的人生都不同，每個人都有創傷，新的，舊的，每天都可以有，只是我們如何去處理，如何不積纍創傷，就不會投射給別人）
You prove to our hubby that you can give him safety and security gradually. So his imaginary fear does not make sense, you can do it as you want at a safe way. Keep going!
Then again you need to communicate with him , make him at ease. He is happy to see you have more money than him maybe.
對於各自都有男女partners :
騎單車的女士那件事，需要進一步妥善處理，也許，他突然停止和對方踩單車，沒有和對方好好解釋，對這位女士和你先生都是一個刺，看看找一個機會，用soft way ，處理好它，看到先生是一個很有交代的人。對好重視朋友。你可以尊重他這一點，就像他尊重你和Korean man一起做trading一樣， 你們的關係就會有深化和升華。
孩子也會有更多安全感。這是你需要突破的地方，越是恐懼的事情，就是越需要學習的事情。通過一點一點的改變，你的情緒管理和智商會有breakthrough!
對於溝通上的提升，我可以和你做ROLE PLAY練習。先在潛意識上有自信，有行動，意識就會有勇氣， 行動就會發生。
對於孩子的路向和他們的信念：
你早前都很擔心，對嗎？
現在，你已經慢慢放下許多。想想你當年，爸爸媽媽沒有擔心你走出來嗎？也許有一點，但他們接納自己有限度的焦慮，還是支持你的。我雖然不知道detail，但這是我的直覺。所以，孩子的世界，交給他們自己去探索。讓他們爲自己負責任，而且，你會看到，他們會活得比你想象的好！用你自己的人生經驗，去想象他們的明天！你和先生在背後支持他們，儘自己的力幫助他們，祝福他們。最重要是你自己活出自己，就是給他們最大的禮物！
今天我們通過你的生命故事，我戰勝恐懼的故事，看到：正是因爲我們有恐懼和焦慮，我們就有勇氣去改變現狀。
而恐懼和現實的差距，現實往往比想象得恐懼世界好好多！
因爲我們沒有沿著恐懼的方向走，我們敢於嘗試新東西，生命就不一樣。
你看到：童年和青少年，你看到自己原生家庭，令你感到要闖出自己的路，沒有出路，就是最好的出路！
同時，你已經覺察到看到自己隨著年紀增大，有退縮，有萎縮的狀態，因爲toxic guilt，shame，内在創傷，導致焦慮和恐懼，還在影響你的思維和信念， 你不能活出渴望的自己。這是漫長的路，你已經開始，而且進步好大！
Change our thinking system, change our inner program, reset our brain structure:
Then we sat in our anxiety, studied its beauty and real danger in over use of it, how to Reprogram the Anxious Brain
1 ) Anxiety mechanism ( application of emotion mechanism)
1
It reminds you of something is important . It will help to avoid potential danger , (Health, life and death, finance, career …)
2
It urges us to take action
3
It is not comfortable but normal and acceptable to keep us in a normal life
4 disordered anxiety disfunctions us and prevents you from enjoying your life at all,
2) Anxiety cycle
The harder you want to get away, the stronger it grows
你越想擺脫它，你就越强化了它，給力它！
Anxiety enhances anxiety , avoidance grows anxiety
Our audacity becomes constrained, shrieked, smaller and narrow,
Our comfort zone becomes small, become less confident in ourselves and project our insecurity to others – not trust others in the same way.
Your guilt and shame, infirmity , inability is the main causes to make your anxious and you may project anxiety to others and yourself. Now you know yourself much better, having know that is all imaginary, your limited believes !
You are good enough than many people in the world, not just because you living standard ( you and your husband's effort) but your own potential and learning ability..., your kind heart and loving intentions... those are your backbone to our life, meaning of life...
You are your best life teacher, self teaching is crucial to build confidence: you have so many wonderful experiences to overcome hardships...
Change the perception by experiences, changes the neuropath and reset your inner program
So every time you get more comfortable when overcome anxiety and find the situations are actually not dangerous as expect, gradually you rewire your neuro structure and thinking pattern of your brain , your reset your Inner program, reduce your cortisol, insulin or fight and flight hormones when the situations are back again.
A word says so well in my NLP courses:
A problem defined is problem half solved.
Exercise 1
Define anxiety and causes
Find ways to prevent:
What is the cost if I don't do?
Most anxiety disorders root from trauma, innate character/personality or genetic reasons （ ADD/Autism/Bi-polar...)
We have to use healing and be aware the truth of anxiety and anxiety disorder.
Exercise 2
Acceptance produces change and action
Action steps
1
write down the hierarchy of danger you expect
2
you say to yourself it is OK to be anxious. I will do it even it makes me anxious
3
try bit by bit to encounter the “danger “
4
do it continuously until your anxiety reduces gradually and finally vanishes
5
Live with fears and you realize it is not such danger at all
4 5 2022
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