H case preparation

6 4 2022 

由於Horace最近和媽媽的衝突有一些肢體暴力，他還曾經有自殺傾向，這不是一朝一夕的事情，而是長期纍計的情緒創傷，原生家庭的互相傷害互累等原因導致，他心理上、精神上和身體上都很傷。這件事情他需要很長時間去消化，平復，關鍵是需要療愈和有專業的support，

相信他的心情非常複雜，可能有後悔，有内疚、有羞恥，有憤怒，有擔心，有恐懼等等，不知如何面對自己和媽媽...

不可否認，他有抑鬱和焦慮症。極大的壓抑。他把自己綁的很緊，需要鬆弛，平靜，沒有平靜、放鬆，什麽也做不了。

因爲沒有機會做個輕鬆的交談，第一次，我會給他一個輕鬆、放鬆的環境，讓他感受到被尊重，被聆聽，有一些内在的歸屬感，自我價值感 .

具體如何做，每個人都不一樣。我想，我不給自己任何限制，讓我們都充分感受當下，讓我自己去發揮，讓他自己發揮，順勢就可以了。相信會一定會有疏解和減壓作用。

雖然我已經知道他的一些坎坷的童年和青少年，家庭背景，我都會清空自己，一張白紙，和他聊天，讓他知道我的心理輔導的style.

最主要是讓他放鬆，然後可以專注他内在的世界，聽到自己内在的聲音，反思如何可以安撫自己，找到内在資源，,修復創傷，轉化他自己的情緒，學到好好愛自己。每次一小步，不帶期望。

這是一個的大方向。

當然，有了這次的體驗，對我繼續和他做一個階段 的治療非常重要，也評估下是否他需要藥物治療。（ I discussed with his mother in the talk and she really hoped to do with him in longer term ）

當然，Horace自己的意向最重要。完全尊重他。

-  My belief is: 

Healing is a long process, all ups and downs are all OK. 

It's OK to be not OK. 

Everyone has resources to deal with their own life challenges.

All coaching is empowerment, 

All healing is self healing.

 I am an energy field and a compassion angel.

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Talking with his mom:

[10:14, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: 人性化， 個人化的溝通模式是我的style，也是成功心靈療癒的關鍵。聽聽Horace 的心聲，時間地點方式是他自己感覺舒服和可以專注的

[10:15, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: 他的自尊心需要得到保護和尊重

[13:14, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: "You have a different way of looking at it. Tell me more about what you think." 

My client, a mom told me today she used this sentence to talk with his son at his 17s. She is improving bit by bit. Amazing!

During the three months:

From a hot-water  relationship with his son to nowadays  nicer relationship. From shouting at each other every time when they talked to sitting down to express inner heart, to liestn to each other...

She has been doing  9 months journey with two  courses offered me . Still going on. 

I use 身心整合 holistic therapies: Here is a link to see some of them ( 一部分） 

https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/03/my-integrating-holistic-therapies.html

In each section, I share with my clients with my communication philosophy -  communication with compassion， empathy and love, to reach subconscious world, not in the surface.

"You have a different way of looking at it. Tell me more about what you think." So touching.

I said to her:

We can use this way to treat difference as normal and to respect each other in a sincere way. Then we can listen to others'' heart truly. In return, to understand  ourselves better, to see wisdom behind  vulnerability. You have done wonderful job! It proves compassion therapies  work!

When parents change, so do the kids. 

You can realize why I treat parent healing crucial. 

Lots of communication , chats and text back and forth. Not just in the section but outside of each section and in daily communication. I response to our clients learning, feedback  from the homework and reference info given to them as far as I can, and give them some feedback on their challenge also. They feel 陪伴， 同行。 It is not easy to found this survives in traditional counselling or mental service field. 

As Horace is an adult already, though inside of him, he has a child as everyone has. He need to be healed definitely and urgently if he is responsible to his life. I think he will according to your information.

[14:42, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: correction on typing error @ It is not easy to found this services in traditional counselling or mental service field. usually after each section, they will not reply email text until next section.

[14:52, 3/31/2022] Donna Wong: everyone is different and tailored made therapies are used. The above info is only parts of my practice. Flexible, individualized ways , 人性化，個人化 is the principle of mine

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I think you can consider to have your own therapy asap as  this is equally important considering the thing , the violent confrontation can happen again and again. That is why HK become the extremely high suicidal city . You have to take the thing seriously. Of course, it cannon be done in one talk or one section. Medication to you is only buy- time but not a rooted cause recovery , to yourself. That you become self healer will give the whole family , esp. your son a big difference. The story above is a mom , who has medication with 精神科和心理和治療15年。 She came to me. I an teaching her to become her own coach. Family need her , her son need her this.