抽离自己

我发现,不懂抽离自己，做人会特别辛苦？何为抽离自己？
用自已以外的角度看自己，自嘲自己，幽默一下，原來可以看轻点，
既能抽离自己，就能投入别人,学习自己和他人的经验和教训,建立一個更完美的，表里如一的自己，每天都享受进步中的自已。你认为呢?

冬

任何人都會變老，但不一定每個人都會長大

開學第一天，教授自我介紹後，要每位同學主動去結交一位新朋友。
當我站起來環視四週時，有人輕輕拍我的肩膀。
我轉過頭，看見一位滿臉縐紋，個子矮小的老婦人對著我微笑，那笑容光亮璀燦。
她說：「嗨！帥哥，我叫蘿絲，今年87歲。我可以抱你一下嗎？」
我笑起來，熱切的答道：「當然可以」，她果真緊緊地將我抱個滿懷。
我開玩笑的問她：「你年紀這麼小，怎麼就來上大學了？」
她也調皮的回答道：「我準備來這釣個金龜婿，生幾個孩子，然後退休去雲遊四海。」
「此話當真？」我明知故問。

我很好奇，到底是何動機，促使她年屆古稀，還來上大學。
她告訴我說：

「我一直夢想要受大學教育，如今終於得償宿願。」
下課後，我們散步到學生聯合大樓，兩人分享了巧克力奶昔，從此我們成了摯友。
往後三個月的每一天，我們總是一起離開教室，天南地北的聊個沒完。
她像一部「時光機器」，將智慧和經驗與我分享，而我總是聽得津津有味。
一學年下來，蘿絲成了學校鼎鼎大名的人物。
不論走到那裡，她總能輕易的結交到新朋友。
她經常打扮得漂漂亮亮的，陶醉在同學們對她的關注之中。
學期結束時，蘿絲應邀到我們為足球隊舉辦的晚宴中演講。
我永難忘懷當晚她賜予我們的珍貴禮物。
主持人介紹她給聽眾之後，她碎步走向講台，正當要開始演講時，她手中的講稿不慎掉落地上。
有幾秒鐘時間她顯得有點懊惱和靦腆，不過立刻就幽默的對著麥克風淡淡的說：「抱歉，我最近老喜歡掉東西，剛剛我本想喝杯啤酒壯膽，卻喝了威士忌，沒想到那玩意兒簡直要我的命，看來我是記不得事先準備的東西了，那我就講最熟悉的事情吧。」

在 大家的笑聲中，她清了一下喉嚨，然後開始說：『我們不是因為年老而停止玩樂，我們是因停止玩樂才會變老，只有一種秘訣能使人青春永駐，快樂成功。就是你們 必須經常笑口常開，幽默風趣；你們必須時時懷抱夢想，當你們失去夢想時，你們就形同死亡，我們的週圍有許多人像似行屍走肉，卻不自覺。』

『變老和長大之間有很大的差別，任何人都會變老，但不一定每個人都會長大。
長大的意思是，你必須不斷在蛻變中找尋成長的機會而善加利用。
要活得無怨無悔：上了年紀的人，通常不會因做過的事後悔；卻常因在年輕時，未曾去做自己想做的事而遺憾，只有心懷悔恨的人，會恐懼死亡。』


那年底，蘿絲終於完成她的大學學業。
畢業後一星期，她在睡夢中安祥去逝。
超過2千名同學參加她的葬禮。
我們聚在一起，向這位以身教教導我們：只要下定決心，不管年紀多大都可以實現夢想…


蘿絲人老心不老，享受生命、樂觀幽默的生命觀蠻值得大家學習，人生就該如此，活到老、學到老，當人一停止學習、停止吸收新的知識，那人就真的只是年紀變老，思想便一直停留在原處。

蘿絲的「當人失去夢想就形同死亡，人生就有如行屍走肉一般」的說法也讓人對生命有了新的認知，希望所有網友看完文章後能有所收獲，找回人生的夢想，擁有樂觀幽默的生命觀。

Touring around HK world-class Geo-parks

Millions of pentagonal and hexagonal volcanic  rocks cover the coastal areas

high density of the fault breccia belts

破边洲

Hundred of sea caves around the coastal line

Pillow Islet

 

破边洲

https://picasaweb.google.com/115010069195102265944/March252012#

Today we jointed a cruise to桥嘴岛,High Island reservoir, 破边洲，粮船洲High island ( a much huger island than I expected) for more than 5 hours along the coastal lines covering 100 km2, including submerged areas with the pentagonal or hexagonal volcanic rocks).

It was just amazing and spectacular. The first time to view  pentagonal or hexagonal volcanic rocks in such great scales  - one of my dreams in life.

A surprising thing finding is: Natural Vitamin D from the sunlight gave me inner warm, recharged and healthy feelings. I was in the wind and warm spring sun for almost all the time without a cold symptom. That was I didn’t imagine although I almost throw out due to a bad sea-sickness for some moments.

Please view the photos of the world-class Geo-park and see and feel how beautiful HK natural scenery can be. Who says HK is short of natural attractions? They have not been yet by the World. Let's appreciate the sheer beauty - our world class Geo-park.


http://www.geopark.gov.hk/en_index.html

25-3-2012

If you have will, you will find resources

B,

Through the conversation, I found your challenges are more than I expected. You are getting ability to manage them.

 It seems most of the challenges are due to communication with the lecturers and understanding the questions. This does occur in working environment. But as a responsible person who has strong sense of leadership mindset - always looks forward way, you will have intention to get better understanding with people , try to keep a good relationship so that people would like to help you, work with you and work for you.

If you want to learn, you will not hesitate to ask and most people will help.

 In IT field, I found there are so many great projects and problems to solve, all of them are so creative, mufti-filed linked, needing lots of different know how and knowledge and collaboration. So much to learn by asking questions and study/practice. So I strongly feel that communication skills are extremely important. Thus I recommend you go to meet people instead of working alone more in the summer. By working with people, first, you learn real communication and persuasive ability - how to get your points /ideas really across, or you questions understood. Second, you will build self-assurance and reliance and know insight of what the real IT world is like and what you will  try in the near future.

 I believe you will get through and grow up into a responsible person with NLP mindset - be your emotion owner and controller. Everything is imaginary and emotion state determines behavior and behavior determines outcome. Learning is emotion dependent as well. So try to adjust at the best emotion and get best use of your resonances. That is called live up with your life fully. Live at this moment, focus at this moment. Every moment if you can focus on a single thing and enjoy it, despite difficulties, you will be a happy man and have a fulfilling life.





http://www.buildfreedom.com/tl/tl12.shtml
 An Arabic proverb says: if you have will, you will find resources and if you have no will, you will find excuses. 阿拉伯諺語：『你若不想做，會找到一個藉口；你若想做，會找到一個方法』

 Thoughts become things. Absolutely.

Mom

p.s.

Interesting research report: how to reduce blind points (盲点)

 

http://www.buildfreedom.com/tl/tl12.shtml

 

How emotion generated and how to get a 自在人生- get control of your own life - all depending how you interpreter event. Constructive thinking is the key. Immerse yourself in a positive, beautiful outcome picture, you will have automatic motivation to do constructive things.

HOW TO TURN CONFLICT TO WEALTH AND HAPPINESS

Records of Dr. Chau Hua Shang's talk and my reflections

17-3-2012

化"衝突為財富"工作坊

Dr Hua Shan says:

生命最荒謬絕倫之處﹐就是每個人都按自己的獨特方式看事情﹐同時又期望身邊的人﹐完全認同並且按照我的方式處事﹐否則就是不合理﹑不正常﹑不理智。當我們每個人都堅持己見﹐放大「我」和「我的」﹐自以為是地要求對方完全跟從我的想法﹐難怪人與人之間不時發生爭執甚至衝突。

每個人都曾面對衝突﹐如何化解是重要的藝術。處理不善﹐會即時破壞甚至摧毀關係﹐創造雙輸的困局。有些人則為了避免衝突而委屈自己﹑討好別人﹐結果長期壓抑自己內心的感受和需要﹐整個人變得萎縮和乏力。如何化解分歧和衝突﹐是生命的重要課題。這是個非常實用的工作坊裡﹐讓我們學習到﹕

1﹑如何清晰地說不﹐讓對方尊重我的需要﹐同時一起創造雙贏﹖
2﹑如何在面對衝突時﹐讓對方即時放下憤怒﹐聆聽到我的聲音﹖
3﹑如何在衝突發生前﹐化解分歧﹐讓彼此和而不同﹑融洽共處﹖
4﹑如何在衝突發生後﹐即時妥善處理﹐並扭轉乾坤﹑反敗為勝﹖
5﹑如果有效指正對方﹐讓他心悅誠服放下自我﹑真誠虛心聆聽﹖
6﹑ 如何有效支持家人﹑朋友和下屬去妥善處理已經發生的衝突﹖
7﹑如何化衝突為財富﹐讓身邊暴烈和操控的人﹐也能輕鬆自在﹖

Here is what I have learnt and reflected:

The most ridiculous thing is human tend to project their own perceptions or thinking system to others. But many so called “facts” are imaginary; different people see things in different points of views and get different conclusions or “facts.” If we know this, we don’t need to be upset/maddened if others don’t agree with us.

The film THE GOD OF CARNAGE proves a small issue can turn into a disaster in relationships.

How to resolve conflict in a constructive/win-win approach:

1

将我变成他/她

Put your feet in others' shoes

 If I was him/her, what could I think, do or reflect? The things will be completely different. Put down self-ego and listen to others, and then reflect; don’t response with hurting words without thinking the consequence.

将我变成他/她

Put your feet in others' shoes

If I was him/her, what could I think, do or reflect? The things will be completely different. Put down self-ego and listen to others, and then reflect; don’t response with hurting words without thinking the consequence.

2

真诚/具体感谢( 如面对别人的指责/批评/投诉: 首先多谢他背后的正向动机)

If we really think from others’ point of view, understanding and appreciation will be generated from the bottom of your hearts.

当一个人发现其优点被认同，他的表现将完全不同。

 3

If it is my fault, I will take full responsibility. Give promise.

 4

Create a picture of win-win and mutual benefit – love and caring and happiness is the ultimate ground we are standing on. Speaking out your visions /dreams from the best benefit of both.

当一个人有安全感，被尊重，被爱，人们就可以互相分享。

5

Share what you want to tell the others to improve - your feelings about him/her but don’t use subjective way.　Asking for response and understanding. "What do you feel?" Or what’s you view？ (AVOID HURTING WORDS）

不要把自己的感受看为唯一的真相(没有真相,只由想象)

Let's share the article again.

 

公义和慈悲 - 强国的支柱

14-3-2012

How to Find Employees in Google -Adversity Quotient is the key

What is AQ?

AQ is the most scientifically robust and widely used method in the world for measuring and strengthening human resilience.
Top leaders, industry-leading companies, and governments worldwide use AQ to enhance or transform:

• Performance
• Productivity
• Innovation
• Agility
• Change
• Pace
• Problem solving
• Optimism
• Engagement
• Morale
• Retention
• Energy
• Hiring
• Development
• Coaching
• People
• Leadership
• Culture

http://www.peaklearning.com/about_aq.php

Turn failure to your firends

活用失败和成功

如何找回自身的無窮潛能

3-3-2012

参加了这个工作坊, 发现到自己的更多长处,开始学习爱自己...

{愛上尚未發現的自己}工作坊

大部份人失敗﹐因為把自己的恐懼和脆弱視為當然本質﹐沒有看到自己其實擁有最神聖美麗的內在特質。許多人長期活在別人的目光之下﹐總是覺得自己不夠好﹕我太肥﹑太矮﹑太老﹑太蠢﹑太執著﹑太沒用﹑太懶惰﹑太情緒﹑太自卑﹐結果當然是作繭自縛﹐不斷創造挫敗﹑衝突和分離。

人類各大宗教都認為﹐每個人的本質都是珍貴而神聖的。基督教相信人是神按照自己的形象做出來的﹐人本來就神聖美麗。佛教認為每個人都有佛性﹐人人可以成佛。問題是﹐許多人慣性地盯著自己的不足和脆弱﹐潛意識長期處於自我批判的狀態﹐根本不相信自己可以自由飛翔﹑鵬程萬里﹔所以﹐即使自己努力工作﹑持續學習增值﹑參加成長課程﹐生活仍然平庸﹐做人仍然乏味﹐從來體驗不到本具自足的神聖力量。

其實﹐每個人都渴望找回自身的無窮潛能﹐渴望盡情發揮自己的神聖力量﹐問題是怎樣做﹖周華山博士會透過三個精煉獨到的練習﹐讓大家在這個工作坊中﹐學習完全放下對自己﹑對別人﹑對世界的批判。大家會驚喜地發現自己潛藏著的神聖特質﹐並且會學懂如何擁抱最美麗的自己﹐讓自己真正振翅高飛。

這是一個讓我們煥然一新﹑脫胎換骨的體驗式工作坊。

The greatest love is to learn love yourself

5-3-2012

Last week, I had three events - the Seeds of Greatness by 林伟贤，爱上一个尚未找到的自己　by Dreams Possible (周华山博士) and NLP by Chris Howard online course. Then I realized that the Song " Great Love of All is Learning to Love Yourself" so much echoes with what I have learned from the three successful coaches and entrepreneurs.

Especially in 周华山博士 's talk, I was shocked to know 99% of the people plus myself in the seminar （Over 100 people) didn’t love themselves or have not really known what is the meaning “love of myself”.

We had gone to three insightful exercises. First writing down what character we would like to have. And then we imagined sometimes in our life we shone with our dreaming characters and that  was the most rewarding, beautiful times in our lives. Suddenly, it was like someone gave a big punch on our heads.  We were overjoyed to know everyone has beauty and merits we are looking up to  but most of the time they are hidden deeply under our subconscious iceberg. For me that is love, happiness and compassion, strength and resilience, the characters I desire to have like Dala Lama. They are hidden in our subconscious mind and not shone yet. Anyone who shines his beauty, he will be incredible and make an entirely different life.

Background of the song：

"The Greatest Love of All" is a song written by Michael Masser and Linda Creed and originally recorded by George Benson for the 1977 Muhammad Ali biopic The Greatest. The song was later popularized by Whitney Houston. Creed wrote the lyrics in the midst of her struggle with breast cancer. The words describe her feelings about coping with great challenges that one must face in life, being strong during those challenges whether you succeed or fail, and passing that strength on to children to carry with them into their adult lives. Creed eventually succumbed to the disease in April 1986 at the age of 36; at the time her song was an international hit by Whitney Houston.

Whitney Houston - Greatest Love Of All Lyrics

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/whitneyhouston/greatestloveofall.html

WHITNEY HOUSTON LYRICS

"Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
So I learned to depend on me

[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

[Chorus]

And if, by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Here is some thoughts and notes added to the lyric to develop what I understand about the songs and my enlightenment:

  "Greatest Love Of All"

I believe the children are our future       
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside

(We can find the beauty by yourself by closing your eyes and searching for your soul to get what you dream to be: that is your beauty already inside your subconscious mind and you have shone before with them, try to visualize the moments, always remember the desired character them and we will find the  true of ourselves)

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

(Dr Chao said, once a man has self-respect and self-confidence, subconsciously, your goal will motivate: if you have goal, you will be resourceful, focus on positive sides rather than on difficulties and find ways; if you have no goal, you will find excuses. 意向决定结果：有心者找到方法，无心者找到借口)

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

（Sadly, we need our children to remind us how to smile. This lyrical sentence implies children need to keep  childlike wonder and smile when growing into adults. The more you smile the more relaxed and more positive and resourceful you are. And less health issues you have. If you can show a sense of humor in adversity, you will get through much easier. That is why Albert Einstein liked to work in fun way and with people having humor)

Everybody's searching for a hero (at different stage with different heroes)
People need someone to look up to (absolutely, one of my heroes is Dala Lama)
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs (everyone is unique, no one can meet ones' need except self)
A lonely place to be ( to learn to enjoy loneliness is a wonderful experience, a process of life)
So I learned to depend on me 

[Chorus:]
I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows

(This is a very difficult thing. Most people care too much how other thinks of them, their emotions, happiness are all on others' expectation and appreciation. Once they cannot get this return after pay effort, they will get upset/depressed or give up.  They are living for others but not for self - very tiring life. People live on their own must have a strong belief and value system. They live at the moment, they donate not for fame and dedicate their lives to others without asking for any return. That is called compassion. With compassion, you live for self, meaning for others and for others, meaning for self. Two seemingly opposites are in alignment. Many people don't even feel happy any time even after achievements because they are not enjoying own life but they think all things done is for others, not for self.)
If I fail, if I succeed (failure  is better than doing nothing (IBM management). The early failures we have, the early trials we have done, the more chances to succeed we have got.

At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

 ( what is dignity, the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteeme. value of life, self respect, integrity and self-confidence and self-love.)
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve

(it is in our subconscious mind 90% of our thinking system. Once we found the inherent energy, we can go back to an infant stage and learning working with instant courage and power, no fear. But it is not easy to achieve when we become adults for a filter system set into our brains, too much doubts and worries and denies  in that system)

Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

(this sentence has been carrying in my mind for a long time with a bit confusion. Now I finally realize it is universally true! People may think everyone is selfish, so everyone knows how to love themselves, protect themselves. Selfishness is not self- love.  If people know how to love themselves, they know how to stay health inside out; elf love an stay happy inside out and love themselves inside out. Inside out means in alignment. 言行一致，表里如一，说到做到. If so, you are your own coach and leader, you take in charge of your own life. You will consider others feelings and try your best to lessen  burden or troubles /worry to others.

We thought that how we lived didn't have an effect on what we said. Many times we try to communicate from the perspective of the person we'd like to be instead of the person we are. Authenticity is a powerful communication tool. We must communicate with words consistent with our actions. If we talk the talk, but it doesn’t match the way we walk the walk, then we will face a credibility issue. Sometimes the way we live our lives speaks so loudly people can’t hear what we’re saying - unless the two match up.) Answering Service >

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside

(Every day we get to think our beauty, appreciate our beauty and appreciate others' beauty. This is the foundation to create dream and empower ourselves)

Give them a sense of pride to make it easier

( Give ourselves more LIKES than DISLIKES)

Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

[Chorus]

And if, by chance, that special place

 (Not by chance but every day we can do it by meditation or self- hypnosis anytime when we are alone)

That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

(yes, love self is easy said than done, need strength and courage but that is only way makes us unconditionally happy any time and doing things with constructive, resourceful mood before we reach the goal. That will make the goal easy to achieve - the Advantage of Happiness)

If WHITNEY HOUSTON really loved herself, the tragic would never have happen. Her death has shocked the world and all her fans and me. A breaking-heart song now to me to listen to. If Ernest Miller Hemingway had not killed himself, his decedents would not have suffered so much depression and related diseases from generation to generation. So Love yourself and love others is for the same purpose as human is interactive to each other.

The more we love ourselves, the more we have energy and the more attractive to others to love us and work for us. That is the law of attraction.

Let me dedicate the song to you and to everyone I love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w

http://www.ctpost.com/news/slideshow/Whitney-Houston-through-the-years-37208.php