生命的容量

生命的容量

To pursue unconditional happiness, here is the way: to become an ocean not a cup. To create and give out more rather than just to complain. 

有一個年輕人，常常會被人們的三言兩語給激怒，甚至忍不住大發雷霆，有一次，他又被氣得不得了，便跑去找一位長者訴苦。

這位長者很有意思，他沒多說，只倒給了他一杯水，之後又倒一杓鹽巴下去，並要他嚐一口，他一喝，不禁叫了起來：「哎呀！好鹹啊！」

長者沒有多說話，只是笑笑的又帶他來到一座湖畔，同樣的倒了一杓鹽巴到湖中，再從中撈起一小杯水，要他再嚐一口，並問他說：「這次會覺得鹹嗎？」那人回答：「不會啊。」 長者接著說：「湖的胸襟大，所以雖被倒入同樣的鹽分，很快就被稀釋了！年輕人，胸襟大一點，那些小事情就不會影響到你的生活。人，要做湖泊，不要做杯子。」年輕人頓時恍然大悟。

親愛的朋友，

你常覺得生命中有許多惱人的事嗎？

你常覺得某人講的話令您不禁咬牙切齒嗎？

你常覺得有些人實在不像樣嗎？

如果你的胸襟只有「杯子」般的容量，這些事、話…絕對足以影響你心靈、情緒的品質；如果你的胸襟如「湖泊」般一樣大，那麼，這些事、話…很快就會被你給稀釋，根本影響不了你。

生活中的一些小事或別人的一句話，能對你產生多大的殺傷力，取決於你的胸襟、氣度有多大！

學習做人

Article from a friend's email

學習做人


星雲大師有一位徒弟，台大畢業後到夏威夷讀碩士，又到耶魯讀博士，花了好多年時間，終於得到博士，非常歡喜。

一天他回來對星雲說：「師父，我現在得到博士學位了，以後要再學習什麼呢？」

星雲說：「學習做人。 學習做人是一輩子的事，沒有辦法畢業的。」

第一、「學習認錯」

人常常不肯認錯，凡事都說是別人的錯，認為自己才是對的，其實不認錯就是一個錯。 認錯的對象可以是父母、朋友、社會大眾、佛菩薩，甚至向兒女或是對我不好的人認錯，自己不但不會少了什麼，反而顯得你有度量。學習認錯是美好的，是一個大修行。



第二、「學習柔和」

人的牙齒是硬的，舌頭是軟的，到了人生的最後，牙齒都掉光了，舌頭卻不會掉，所以要柔軟，人生才能長久。心地柔軟了，是修行最大的進步。一般形容執著的人說，你的心、你的性格很冷、很硬，像鋼鐵一樣。 如果我們像禪門說的調息、調身、調心，慢慢調伏像野馬、像猴子的這顆心，令它柔軟，人生才能活得更快樂、更長久。




第三、「學習忍耐」

這世間就是忍一口氣，風平浪靜，退一步海闊天空； 忍，萬事都能消除。忍就是會處理、會化解，用智慧、能力讓大事化小、小事化無。有了忍，就可以認清世間的好壞、善惡、是非，甚至接受它。



第四、「學習溝通」

缺乏溝通，就會產生是非、爭執與誤會。相互了解、相互體諒、相互幫助，大家都是兄弟，不溝通怎麼能和平呢？



第五、「學習放下和包容」

人生像一只皮箱，需要用的時候提起，不用的時就把它放下，應放下的時候，卻不放下，就像拖著沉重的行李，無法自在。无法向前。人生的歲月有限，認錯、尊重、包容才能讓人接受，放下才自在啊！



第六、「學習感動和感恩」

我們看到人家得好處，要歡喜；看到好人好事，要能感動。感動是一個愛心、菩薩心、菩提心，在我幾十年的歲月裡，有許多事情、語言感動了我，所以我也很努力的想辦法讓別人感動。



第七、「學習生存」

為了生存，我要維護身體健康，身體健康不但對自己有利，也讓朋友家人放心。



除了以上七點之外，我還想補充一點，就是「學習聆聽」。大多數人在跟別人談話時，都想發表自己的意見或想法，卻沒有細心聆聽對方的說話，沒有聆聽就沒有真正的溝通，沒有溝通就是所有矛盾和誤會產生的根源。

點燃生命的燈吧

一盞燈




夜裡，一個苦行僧到了一個村落，絡繹的村民在漆黑的街道上來來往往。苦行僧走進一條小巷，看見有一團暈黃的燈從巷道遠處照過來，一位村民說：「瞎子過來了。」



苦行僧問另一位村民：「那挑著燈的人真是瞎子嗎？」他得到答案是肯定的。



苦行僧百思不得其解。一個雙目失明的盲人，他根本就沒有白天和黑夜的概念，甚至不知道燈光是什麼樣子，那他挑一盞燈豈不令人可笑嗎？



僧人走到那提燈籠的盲人面前問道：「敢問施主真是一位盲人嗎？」盲人答道：「是的。」



僧人問：「既然您什麼也看不見，那為何挑一盞燈籠呢？」



盲人說：「在黑夜裡沒有燈光的映照，其他人都和我一樣什麼也看不見，所以我就點燃了一盞燈籠。」僧人若有所悟地說：「原來您是為了給別人照明？」



但那盲人卻說：「不，我是為我自己！」「為您自己？」僧人愣了。



盲人反問：「您在黑夜裡有沒有被其它行人碰撞過？」僧人說：「有，就在剛才，我被兩個人碰了一下。」



盲人緩緩地說：「我卻沒有。雖然我是盲人，什麼也看不見，但我挑了這盞燈籠，既為別人照亮了路，也讓別人看到了我。這樣，他們就不會因為看不見而碰撞了我。」



苦行僧聽了，頓有所悟，仰天長歎說：「我天涯海角奔波著找佛，沒想到佛就在我身邊。原來佛性就像一盞燈，只要我點燃了它，即使我看不見佛，佛也會看得到我。」



在生活中，要得到別人的愛，首先要愛自己；要得到別人的尊重，首先要尊重自己的所言所行！



為了自己，也為了我們身邊所有的人，點燃生命的燈吧，這樣，我們才能尋找到生命的平安和燦爛。

The secrets of keeping a sustainable marriage – understading and mutual trust

An article from 郑州晚报。On the airpalin from Zhengzhou to HK, I read the article and aprreciate the ideas that a sustainable marriage is founded on mutual trust.

11-7-2011

Come to terms with facts v.s. Self-acualisation

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Maslow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg




 The article to "Live with Fate" in today's MING PAO indicates that a man's full potential will be developed only when they first come to terms with their reality and fates - that is to come to the stage of acceptance of facts. Then they will find resources to solve problems guided by an open-minded attitude. Their creativity and responsibility will be spontaneously excel and the "actualization" of the full personal potential takes place.


This reminds me Maslow's hierarchy of needs, a theory in psychology, proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation. The above two are echoed to each other in the terms of achieving the highest level of personal development.

Meanwhile, if we can come to terms with the facts we are facing, we can find true happiness unconditionally.


^10-7-2011 

Mary Jean our helper's leave

BB,


Our helper Mary Jean is leaving on Sunday. Would you like to send her your blessing words? I can revert to her. I think we should thank anyone who has helped us in our life.

I dropped a line to her in a thank-you card. She has been with us for 41/2 years. Time flies. She has served us during BB your most important time in the SIS.

Actually she is not perfect and even made serious mistakes sometimes. But her services and working attitude is the second to none, She taught me lots of things in fact: - that is how to face adversity ( when her mom died three years ago and when her husband has affair now while she is far away from here country ....) and she has accepted those are the fact of life and most importantly, she has becomes stronger and happier now when she accepted the issue and becomes much relieved. I am happy to see her health is better now.

Once we accept the fact of life or adversity or mistakes, we have resources to move froward and to deal with it. I believe she can manage realistically. I fully understand her situation and wish her to have a good business of her own.

I found my attitude has sublimed to another stage when getting alone with her and our family: I was surprised to see the power of forgiving after a series of self development courses. Subconsciously, I have applied what I learnt to real life. When you forgive others, you free yourself from your own prison and you have given other and yourself a chance to reflect and to grow up. You will understand this truth when you are getting older.

Mom

8-7-2011

My trip to Henan

Now it is the last day in Henan. There are many surprises in this trip.


1

A lot of unnecessary worries before the visit have been swept away. Your grand father has done good job, so have I. I must to say this because as I have said many times, anxiety and pressure are most created by inside yourself ESP. when you are lack of awareness, lack of understanding of each other and yourselves. When things go on, when you have tried your best, the reality is usually much better than your have imagined.

2

The guests are unexpectedly interested in the products we have showed to them and they want to try in their lab asap. I have worked around the clock to create our company profile plus the factory's and sent to them before they left. All the jobs were impressive and inspiring to them. They are so impressed at grandfather's background.

We have prepared with the experts a slide show on the products as well in the factory on Sunday based on my previous preparation in HK. Power point did a great job in the product discussion.

All of the work above tells me that your IB projects and all you have learnt and are going to learn will pave the way for your future career. Working with a good purpose under pressure is an excellent training. The more you do, the more you are capable and comfortable to any pressure that is not as bad as expected, that is the process your ability is to be created.

3

No one can be successful without team work , partnership and association. Try to learn how to be sociable, amiable and flexible but ethic and honest, you will be a person with rapport and respect and trust. That is your internal wealth.

You have to be a leader if you want to do something in your life. You will find everything is not negative if you can see it from wide angles. Opportunities are disguised in adversity. But most of the time, they are just there, only if you want to open your mind to know them, all the courses you have taken in school and externally are your asset and useful if you connect them to the real world and life around.

4

90% health problems are caused by personal psychological problems. My arms and my health is better here even though the schedule was hectic, as I felt fulfilled - I found our hard work has been partly paid off because we can and will bring benefit to the guests That is the happiness I am looking for.

5
The last day ended in full day raining. All sightseeing had to be cancelled mainly because the guests are more interested in shopping and the modern city (terrifically modern). Whet I wanted was the world class geo park, but the guests were not agreeable with me. Next time.

How about your study on the mysterious course - chinese culture and philosophy in English? And the city tour? Anything strike you, touch your heart, or even culture shock experiences?

Take care.

Cheer.

Mom