Breakthrough to Success

27-5-2010


The day immediately after Eugene's final exams on 22 May, I took him to a big event - Chris Howard's Breakthrough to Success Seminar in HK, an amazing experience that might make a difference in his life...

Below is a thank-you letter to the presenters -

Dear Chris and Johnnie,

I was overwhelmed to see the sea change in my son's attitude after the two-day Breakthrough to Success in HK. I must thank you for giving him the chance to learn so much that he’s never ever learnt in the last ten-year's school life.

No just that, he seldom spoke out his fear despite his overwhelming fear and grave depression that almost ruined him in the past two years. On the surface, he seemed to be arrogant but inside he was so unconfident - a twisted character that worried us so much.

You know what? On the last day - the Transformation Day, he raised his hand and spoke to the big audience that he had finally broken his conform zone and dared to face his fear, his weaknesses and then shared his experience with hundreds of strangers. When he was back to home, he was so released that his fear, worry and problems seemed almost gone. What surprised us msot was he found all the fear and worry that tortured him for the last two years was rather imaginary and unreal. The recent IB exams (an international Exam for Y13 students) were not as daunting as he expected. He has started to build confidence inside his mind towards his new life in university.

I was tearful when I was shocked to see Johnnie the presenter passed the microphone to my son when he raised his hand quickly and firmly - a moment I never expected. He said, “I had been wanting to raise my hand many times but every time I gave up. Now I just said to myself, I must do it! I found the fear to speak to you all was not as frightening as expected." His voice was still weak but won huge applause as he spoke for most people in the hall.

He said he wanted to take the two NLP courses. I didn't think twice and sent the two NLP courses (Training courses for business coach) to him as a gift. I asked if he wanted to be a business coach, he said at least he wanted to be his own coach. I couldn’t believe he could also be a humble guy! He started to see things from different perspectives and is eager to know himself and other people better by studying the NLP courses.

Another more important rewarding result from the Breakthrough to Success seminar was it opened his horizons to the real world, setting him free from the prison of his INTERNET World. In his shell, the Internet is his universe that he could live without anything; worst still, he used to think going to university was not important or necessary at all!

To him, there is no stranger on the Internet. In the real world, he was hesitated to speak to strangers, to ask for help or at least to say Hi or Morning or Thank you to neighbors. Now I hope he has found the importance of connecting people. He hugged more than 30 strangers in the two days - a big step in breaking his comfort zone...


He started to think communication is not just chatting online or sending articles to forums, but to meeting people and making new friends in the real world. I was so surprised to see him ask for the telephone number and email address of a gentleman he met in the meeting as he might want to learn stock market skill from him. He has started to learn from anyone who is better than him in any way.

As for myself, the last seven months after the first Breakthrough to Success transformed me into a more open-minded and balance-minded person. It seems I’ve been able to control my emotion better, becoming much more peaceful and empathetic. While trying to forgive others, I can resolve problems, conflicts and arguments more resourcefully and have more time to focus on something I really need to concentrate on. I remind myself constantly that if we all put our feet in other’s shoes, the world would be much more peaceful and beautiful.

I can't thank you more for the big event that has been like an angel coming to our lives. We will take on your NLP courses in the summer and look forward to grasping some insight and knowledge about happiness, wealth, health, creativity and hoping to really live to our full potential.

Thanks you all from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful journey we went through together in the two days, which may be one of the most important days for my son – the first time he could walk out of his own shell…

With best wishes,

Donna

Ref.: http://www.breakthroughtosuccess.com.au/

A letter to Son

26 May, 2010

Dear Gene,



You cannot imagine how joyful these days are for Father and I. The joy is from our hearts. We really find you have been transformed to be more positive and resourceful towards daily issues after the IB exams and Chris Howard’s seminar - Breakthrough to Success. You started to grumbling less and be more interested in different issues, family problems or even other’s personal headaches and comes up with analytic views, positive solutions or helpful ideas. You are more caring of the family especially when Grandfather was in hospital despite you being engaged in the exams recently. What made us feel more gratified is you becoming more caring for your own health in details. Most importantly, you are more patient when listening to others.

On the planet, we all face the same or similar environments and events. But people with different value systems and beliefs will give different responses and produce different outcomes. “What sets successful leaders apart – is their mind sets, focus, strategies, behaviors, beliefs and values and many other internal factors that determine our experiences in life.” It is clear that it is not the events that control our destiny but our attitudes and personality.

Pressure, stress and problems tends more imaginary than reality itself. Don’t you discover that reality is usually much better than expected especially if we have put effort into it? Chris says that reality is subjective. I couldn’t agree more. So why can’t we be positive and optimistic in the first place towards any challenges in the future? In that way, the outcome should be better. That is why we need to learn how to be the master of our destiny - to be our own manager of our life; to be responsible for our own future.

Being willing to take responsibility and challenges, having ferocious curiosity to learn and a passion to share and to help, you will build up a better character for sure.

With a positive attitude, belief, commitment, discipline and strategies and dedication, you can create your life however you want it and manifest your deepest heart’s desires and make a life with meaning, shining to others.

Of course that is not easy, but it is people’s option to choose keeping dreaming, taking action or not. However, once your subconscious mind is on the ready position, action is just like pressing the button, motivation is on automatically.

In our view, it doesn’t matter what you want to do as long as you are happy in any environment. Some people are too sensitive to conditions to be happy but some are unconditional to be happy even in adversity. The two kinds of people make big difference in the outcomes – in their health, relationship, quality of life and even achievements.

By being forgiving, grateful and resourceful, you will find a peaceful mind when things are not going well and, you can manage to get through with confidence. Your experience and improvement is more important than the end result.



With love,


Mother and Father



Ref. http://www.breakthroughtosuccess.com.au/

When you are going to be independent …

When you are going to be independent …

To love and you will be loved more.

To help and you will be helped more.

To interest and you will be interested more.

Take initiative, you will be positive more.

Take it easy, you will become relaxed more.

Oh, your life will be brimful of fun, friendship

And your life will become manageable more.

Dedicate to my son who is going to finish his secondary school and turn into another phase of life.

17 years of joy, 17 years of worry

15 April, 2010


Today is my son's last school day. Last night I couldn’t sleep well... I smiled but laughed at myself, feeling that I have grown up with him as well.

17 year’s yesterday,


You dreamt what he would be like when he turned 17.


17 year’s today,


You still worry if he could manage himself well.


Thinking back,


Did you really enjoy the changes and the whole process?


How much have you worried?


Have you done your best?


Asking myself,


How many of your dreams have come true?


How many of your worries have proved false?


How much have you regretted?



In the transience of life,


You will never know what will happen tomorrow.


But,


Nothing is more important than


To learn from mistakes,


To learn to adjust to changes,


To learn to be thanksgiving,


To learn to be happy.


And to learn to give a free hand to your kids.



You will find happiness is just within your reach.


And you will not worry too much about tomorrow.


*********************************************

“The past is history.

The future is a mystery.

But today is a gift.

That’s why we call it the present.”

Anonymous

Where is my happiness?

Date: 15 April, 2010

Dedicate the poem to my son on the school commencement ceremony day on 27 April, 2010 -


When I was a child, I thought I would be happy if I were an adult;
When I grew up, I thought I would be happy if I were a child;
When I was a single, I thought I would be happy if I were married;
When I was married, I thought I would be happy if I had a baby;
When I had a baby, I thought I would be happy if he grew up tomorrow.
…..

Where is my happiness?
I was lost on the way pursuing my destiny!
Perhaps I would never find of what I dreamt.

Climbing over one mountain,
Another one is awaiting you.
A bigger one or smaller one,
It all depends how you see it.

A half cup of water,
The “Positive” says there is still a half cup of water
The “Negative” says there is only a half cup of water.
It all depends how you view it.

Challenges, hardships are parts of life.
Men create themselves to solve problems.
The more you hate them, the more you fear them.
The more you love them, the more you enjoy tackling them.
The more you enjoy tackling them, the more fulfilling is your life.

Then you turn challenges into your best friend,
You enjoy every moment with them.
Then you focus on how to get through them,
You simply forget they exited as your foe.

Happiness is in your mind,
If you take daily hassles and adversity as a fact of life.
Happiness is in your heart,
If you cherish every moment you learn from living with them.
No matter if you have setbacks or success,
Happiness is in your heart,
Because you have realized happiness can be unconditional;
Because you have set yourself free from the prison of events.

Happiness will never fall from the sky.
But happiness is not a Neverland that we will never find.
Happiness can be everywhere if we don’t take it for granted.
Happiness is always living with us if we have peace of mind.


Sometimes, happiness doesn’t mean we must win;
But we still can smile at it if we know how we lose and how to get up;
Happiness can come more from giving than gaining;
Like a candle - burning itself to brighten up others.

Happiness is not how much you own,
Happiness is not how long you can live,
Happiness is qualified on how much you have enjoyed
No matter how short you life is.
Happiness is judged on how much you have given,
No matter how little you have of your own.


To love and to care;
To help and to devote;
To relish and to appreciate;
All sources of happiness
Close as your home and far as a corner of the world.


You are what you think.
If you think you are a happy guy,
You will be happy even if you lose everything;
If you think you are a miserable guy,
You will be miserable even if you own half the wealth of the world.

Happiness is a life attitude;
Happiness is a state of mind.
Happiness is a way of thinking;
Happiness is a journey
But not a destiny.

The poem was inspired by people who are still being stricken by the aftermath of Haiti earthquake and inspired by a HK volunteer, Mr Wong Fu Yung who scarified his life to save more children in debris in the earthquake in China.

A Taxi Driver’s Story

Date: 19-3-10


In a short journey by taxi to Central, to my surprise, the taxi driver started a conversation with me that I can’t forget – so much about his family. His story came to me as a complete revelation as it redefined happiness for modern people in the materialistic 21 century.

The driver is already over 70 years old. When he told me his age, I simply couldn’t believe it. His voice was as young as that of a man in his 40s and his response to the traffic conditions was just perfect. He is still agile both mentally and physically. But I guess he was in need of money for he was working at night, which was undoubtedly tough. However, I was soon to find out that the old man in front of me was not a poor retiree but a self-made millionaire. He used to be a sailor, a bus driver, a policeman and he already owned two flats in his twenties; now he is the owner of several flats rented out and a father with four children who are all independent with shining careers in different fields.

Unfortunately, with whole-life struggling for wealth, working day and night to raise the four children, the old parents’ return from some of their children was unbelievably cold. During this Chinese New Year, They didn’t send any greeting words home, let alone visit the two elderly parents or give them money regularly. Worse still, when this old driver was lying in a hospital due to an accident, his eldest daughter, who was working in the same hospital as a head nurse, didn’t take a look at him. I was shocked. “Ask her to watch Echoes of the Rainbow?” I instantly thought of the hot movie and advised him. “No use, nothing works!” he was in dismay. I thought it was probably like an iceberg for a long time between the two generations. The iceberg has been like invisible needles torturing him all the time.

What’s more, when the mother was suffering liver failure and desperately needing a donation from her daughter, she refused without a second thought. Fortunately his youngest son immediately came to the rescue by donating half of his liver to Mother. The driver was a bit relieved when talking about this son as if he was his last comfort zone. He was proud to tell me that the youngest was also a brilliant IT man. He was so filial a son that he had given the old father a supplementary Visa card as soon as he got a job after graduation.

At this moment, he was tearing up, speechless. But soon, he cheered himself up by turning to another topic, which surprised me as much. I was astounded to know that he was good at gambling! No matter which type it was, Mark Six, Horse racing or the casino, he claimed he would win money if he did his homework. He seemed to take his luck for granted. He considered driving a taxi as kind of killing time. Seemingly money was never an issue for him.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t help resigning to his ‘unreasoning’ fate – “so what, we have assigned all of our property to them equally no matter how they treat me and Mother. It’s as if we own them.”

“What? Will you give your property to your unkind daughter?” I chased him up on this question eagerly. “Why not”? He said peacefully. Suddenly a flow of 'electric current' heated my body. From this great father, I suddenly realized what unconditional love meant

I was soon to arrive. I wanted to give my best wishes to him when I said “Thank you” to him wholeheartedly. I got out of the car, but my inner conversation with him was still going on. I was in empathy with the tough man in facing the broken relationship with his children. I had a deep feeling that no matter how rich in wealth and strong in character, he was a sad man to some extent. But he seemed to advise me to learn something from him: That’s life - don’t be too serious about it, take it easy. Then You will be more sustainable and happier in your life journey.

That night, I felt laden with his mixed feelings and mine – Saddened by his story? Or relieved to see his strength despite something breaking his heart and constantly hurting him? … A chain of questions twisted through my mind. But one thing is certain: as we are living in a world where it is a general belief that more money means more happiness, this real-life story reveals that true happiness is built out of a good understanding and a warm relationship within families.

A sense of enlightenment struck me – I am even more inclined to believe that family with love and understanding is the foundation of happiness.

I came to understand the old driver better suddenly: on one hand, the unwanted relationships with his children exasperate him; on the other hand, life has to go on. Being optimistic is always better than being pessimistic…

Yes, tomorrow is another day.

Best wishes, Mr. Driver.

Light-hearted but felt-hearted

Light-hearted but felt-hearted


2007

The bilingual stories in Chinese Reader’s Digest are usually my favourite part of the whole book. Despite being only two or three pages in length, every story has something in common: touching and introspective, giving food for thought.



Take Hidden Blessing as an example (December, 2007). Rosemarie Wolmarans, a nursery headmistress, depicts her contemplation behind her decision to accept a handicapped child, who had been rejected by many nursery schools because of his Perthe’s disease, in which his soft joints easily dislocated.



In his treatment, Christos had been wearing plaster casts with rigid a bar for a long period. His movement was restricted and he had to walk with a stiff gait like a robot.



When the headmistress first encountered the disease, she found a big boy sitting on a pushcart wearing splints pushed into her office. But he was going to start primary school the following year. His English was poor and he desperately needed to prepare for his formal education. His mother’s eyes were brimming with tears as this school was his last hope. Rosemarie pondered if the boy would be manageable in this school or, if the boy would cope with the difficulties of fitting in with a normal life with other children – especially when facing teasing. Or easily getting injured with broken legs…”Christos bright brown eyes gazed appealingly at her, silently urging her to ignore his trapped legs and help free his mind.” “If we turned him away as so many others had, what would become of him?”



Rapidly, Rosemarie came to a decision: Christos was given a two-week trial. What a big relief to the mother and the boy!



And the trial turned out to be a magic which changed the boy’s life.



Christos was an ingenious boy with a much more skilful body than expected - he managed to pull himself up the slide and adroitly sailed down to the end; he was excellent in singing and musical games - his clear Italian voice rose above the others; Rosemarie’s worries disappeared quickly when she found Christos was getting popular – the kids liked him and even vied with each other to help him on the swings and with his cart. At the end of the year, Christos had become fluent in English and one of the best in singing.



Soon after the nursery school life, all plasters were removed from Christos’ legs. He had been fully recovered. Unequivocally, Rosemarie was the first person to thank for this. While feeling so pleased when Christos and his mother visited her immediately after being discharged from hospital, Rosemarie was a bit ashamed of herself esp. for her initial reaction to Christos. She said Christos gave her and her school much more than what they had done for him.



‘He taught other children compassion, kindness, patience and love. He showed us how to persevere, how to be brave, happy and how to overcome adversity by a cheerful disposition and a positive attitude.’



Another message I got from this real story is that if we treat people with diseases and disability as you and me, their lives will be completely different. Thinking that there are still so many ‘Christos’ who have been deprived of education because of discrimination and poverty, I can’t help feeling sad but thankful to see Christos’ luck and the much more fruitful, healthy life a school brought to him.



It reminds me of the famous quote of Princess Diana: “The biggest disease today is not leprosy or TB but the feeling of being unwanted”





Another remarkable story that I like so much is ‘Think Small’ (November, 2007), written by a 14-year-old girl.



Patricia at age 9 was a surprisingly blessed girl, understanding, brimful of acting talent. Whenever her father came home from work at night, feeling completely exhausted, she was a bit uneasy. She didn’t like to see her father sitting silently, or being grumpy. Then, she would blab away amusingly in her own language or even follow her father, performing the funny acts she made up herself. She also entertained her father by acting as cartoon characters from Disney movies, making her father cry tears of mirth. At first, she was a bit scared that her father would scold her for her ‘irritation’ and ask her to leave. But her father’s smile relieved her tension, “Whenever you make Mama, Brother and me laugh, you make us feel a lot better and less tire,” he smiled down at her.



She was astonished by her father’s praise and still holds them in her heart.



While many people think BIG and try to make things different, she is thinking of small tricks to change the mood of her family, meanwhile making herself more comfortable. Incredibly, she changed the way they looked at things, changed the way they thought of life.



She realised that her small acts – making people laugh can help release stress and pressure. More magical things can happen if we have a pleasant working environment and pleasant families. People would love their families more and care more about others.



She reminds us that the most important thing we need to have is Family Love and a pleasurable life when coming back from a wearing working day.



Patricia is perfectly right – to make a difference, we don’t need to think BIG all the time. ‘Just drop our ugly frown, put on our best smile, go out into the cold, dark world and spread some light, warmth and love to those who need it.’



Perhaps, just a smiling greeting like ‘hello’ or ‘morning’, tiny help, or starting small talk with your neighbours you’ve never talked to would please and even comfort them unexpectedly. Sadly, this is not commonplace to many of us living in the metropolis, in the densely populated high-rise buildings.