Summary of section 7 4 6 2022
Soon we come to 7th section. I have done all summary for each section. Writing summary is my habit to give every case a report and reflection for them to learn and think in a long run and to make difference and change. Also it is a process of self coach for my own development in both therapeutically ( my coaching, counselling skills) and spiritually ( to be a better self) .
The purposes of the reviews can be a records of our topics gone through, an action plan and my feedback and yours as well.
一開始，看到有些疲累裏，但帶著無形的富足的笑容，我知道，你在從潛意識孵化出新的自己，也許就是你渴望已久的那個美麗的、充滿活力的自己...
1
Spring roll business
Here is my thoughts after I understood you better and deeper:
This "project" is a integration of you desires: trauma healing, get out of depression, making some free money to fill up your inner wealth black hole, to connect with the community and pave the way to create your own brand food products...so many your inner desire suddenly come to the point - you are reborn!
You said, yes, you also realised this is a big step to have a new life. You have more energy to clean up your house and take care of your family.
You have made 150$ without pressure.
It was kind of achievement , congratulations! I am sure if you carry on this project for a period with good reputation, you will create abundance of wealth spiritually and physically
Gradually you can make it smart and easier, great, that is your talent and ability. While working, you can still care your routine and family
I was awed to see you are on the way to develop your truly desired self and full of potential to be seen and excelled. As I have said, listening to your inner voice, during meditation, your inner self is eager to find a deeper self, passionate or more relaxed, self controlled self.
Healing through project, sharing ,self reflection and coaching others are very effect way to grow up. That is my personal experience. We don't have to be perfect to be a coach, we can coach others to coach self at the same time. We still have ups and downs, That is all OK and that is life, but we become more self recognized , self fulfilled and self life mastered. Right? That is what I meant today in the Eggroll business part.
2
Your desire to see your son growth quicker , your daughter to overcome her obstacles to find her lover one to marry and your eldest son to find his favorite career in University.
My comment:
BEN is kind of spoiled single kid while his siblings are much older than him.
But is also vey reflective and caring, loving kid, his voice is full of affection, attachment to you. He need your attention, concern on his needs, his inner want and care. He just doesn't know how to communicate with you to share his worry, his passion or his anxiety, stress, pressure or his desire in proper way.
Please try to find a time to talk with him. His comment on eggroll seemed to show he doesn't want to lose your attention if you are too busy in making money as he thought.
Behind his emotion, he has some trauma that is his life topic to heal. as he is old enough.
As parents, we can only heal ourselves and inspire them to make change. according to my experiences, I can only to be an inspirer, a coach, accompany, I cannot change him. 不再做拯救者，因爲拯救者最後都會變成加害者和受害者。
再談如何不做受害者？
One one hand , you want to give them free hands and let him to be more independent ( , but your way can makes it to become opposite: to push him to be repellent. As a digital generation, he need to be seen as a person, a individuals person.
The grown up experiences at childhood sharing must be very careful, even our hardship stories, are need to be repacked before reach to their heard without causing new trauma. ( ignore their develop history, totally different. Very hard to connect without a good atmosphere - like group sharing discussion or peer group effect)
My son one day said to me: mom, you ask me to take clothes, you make me feel I am a child, devalue me... very strong comment. I was awaked, Oh, he is different, I need to be careful.
according to my experiences, i can only to be an inspirer, a coach, accompany, I cannot change him.
See an article from Mr 劉仁州, our great teacher
子女的成長，父母的陪伴
母親，自己的媽媽 - 我的媽媽成長路
（1）夢境，叫我放手吧！
那天晚上，我就發了一個的夢，回應內在的矛盾：
https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2021/02/blog-post_1.html
最近在照顧家人身心健康方面，遇到一些挑戰，不知如何處理。蠻大壓力。兒子和我談心，看到我也有情緒，叮囑我要學習放手。
3
To be your own coach and your daughter's love adviser, please read and explore yourself style and your husband's.
Relationship Attachment Styles - 依附關係的模式
https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/05/relationship-attachment-styles.html
We discussed this to help us to know ourselves better and our other family members better.
Relationship Attachment Styles
我們的童年如何影響我們成年人的親密關係？ 從今天我做了對依附關係的深入探索，我明白自己多一些，家人多一些，好多提醒，反思如何做個好伴侶，好媽媽，好女兒。https://www.donnadreamhypnosis.com/2022/05/relationship-attachment-styles.html
這裏，你也可以明白丈夫多一些，從他的童年到現在，每個人的attachment模式都深
Homework:
可以當成冥想催眠曲來聽，很溫柔，舒服，這位婆婆留給大家的話
你有什麼advice給你的後代？留給自己？
4 Application of Subconscious power and mechanism
Please read this: we have gone through part of this topic in relation with your own case:
1: be careful of our thoughts, thoughts always become things as our subconscious mind like a computer, what you input , what it outputs. It always does self fulfilment work, like 執行人an executor.
You fully agreed it.
2/3 /4 this is about belief, whatever your form a belief, your action will follow it automatically. USE this in positive side, it will help us much effortless to achieve something with less fear or fearless.
But if our belief is limited and negative, it will be create hell to fall. Like a man wants to suicide, kill himself, it is hard to prevent as it is not one day self negative hypnotized result. It is 99% rooted from childhood trauma without be healed and be cured medically.
Pray and hypnosis, visualization and imagination all has such power.
For depressed people, Imagination on fear and fear become reality like nightmares Do happens all the time.
Positive imagination and visualization will help much to achieve our dreams and to reinforce our determination.
Example, you got married to your husband with big difference in age and many other obstacles from culture difference to child hood trauma...one most important factor was your determination.
5 when one is disconnect with his inner self, lots of inner conflicts will damage the man because inner conflicts are the main cause of nightmares and emotion breakdown or emotion diseases.
6/7/9 if one wants to change perception, limited beliefs , the early the better. Old people is very hard to change compared with younger aged people.
That is why childhood is crucial for a person's self esteem, character building and habit formation. And success is all habit success.
8 If we want our kids to behaved themselves with orders or bad tonality, that is not good subconscious communication. We more we push them or nag them to make change, the less they want to do it as we have not touch their heart.
越叫你不想負面的東西，就越難不想，越叫人不想粉紅色的大象，那個大象就與vivid
Please read：
潛意識是如何影響我們每時每刻
善用与生俱来的潜能 - 夢境治療、催眠治療的功用
5 6 2022
In addition to the summary of section 7:
6
About intimate relationships with your husband:
you think he has strong belief that marriage 💑 must be maintained as a promise or faith with religious nourishment even the ❤️ love, affection and romance is put aside.
As far as I understand according to your information and lots of test from ups and downs, your relationship is getting much stronger than before. He is not type of words affirmation but action . His communication style is very different, thinking mode 思維模式 much various from you. It doesn't mean he does not as much love you as you fell in love. And he also learns from lessons and knows you deeper.
You reminded me of my marriage life experiences over 30 years, and I said,
超過三十年的婚姻生活告訴我：一個健康婚姻不是去苦苦維持，而是要持續發展，那就是建立有慈悲和情感上的連結，嘗試不停地清理自己的陰影、享受每一個過程，婚姻就不是愛情的墳墓，而是感情成長的土壤。
7
Your subconscious change is under way all the time
Finally I asked you during the section period, what kind of perception change affects your life substantially ?
You said
you have changed from reaction to respond ,
to think from others stories, their challenges, previous experiences might affect their emotions to us. Then you will become less touchy and calmer. You can use nicer tonality to communicate with your kids and husband.
I remember the first section, you gave your self a new belief or requirements:
To be an empathetic mom, to understand family members with compassion. Now you are trying to be such mom and wife.
