An article in recent “The Economist” discussed happiness vs. ages. It comes to a conclusion that people get happier when they get older. They find that many people travel through a U-BEND OF LIFE and the middle- aged is the unhappiest group among all ages.
Why is that?
First, the middle aged group probably bears the most responsibility from society, family and themselves. Their dreams and expectations are still not fulfilled probably. And their emotion and performance are prone to be influenced by others’ wealth and status and comments.
Second, they may have started to have some health issues and suffered the pain of loss of loved one and friends.
Third, they may have made some mistakes, stuck in their careers or set-backs.
After this age, people tend to be happier and mellow up possibly because they have experienced glories and setbacks. Therefore they are more content to their present life and cherish more on love, friendship and joyful memory.
Do we have to go through the middle age-slump?
The answer is NO. Here are some ideas and advice for sharing:
First, don’t compare your life to others! You will never get a peaceful mind if your psychology is filled up with relative deprivation (相对馈乏). If you have to compare, compare with people who are living in 2 dollar a days or no limbs like NICK VUJICIC.
Second, don’t be jealous of others, you have no idea what effort they have paid. No pain no gain. If you have not paid for something, you don’t deserve to it. Then just take it easy.
Third, be open-minded to learning from successful experiences and lessons by all resources (reading, watching movies, visiting mentors or taking courses, etc.) so that when we become screwed up by fate or circumstances in our lives, we will be prepared to control our emotion and come up with an attitude so as to adjust ourselves to the changes and meet the challenges.
A saying goes by Mark Twain -“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”If we are able to laugh about something that didn’t go too well, we will work through much easily and resourceful.
Unanticipated event and adversity do happen all the time. We cannot control all events but we can control ourselves and response the event in a positive approach..
It is conventional to judge happiness on how much wealth, status and money we have rather than on how health we are, how many friends and happy memory we have and how much we have done to community.
Apparently, we are susceptible to cheated by our own psyche. The genuine happiness is from our own thinking system – that is how we think about happiness, because that is only thing we can control. “NO one is in charge of your happiness except you!” There is a good saying that you are as old as you feel. That’s it.
The movie, "127 hours" that I fully recommend, conveys a powerful message - a sense of love, gratitude and humor is the impetus for us to stay optimistic. Never give in, never say die even at the worst environment as what Aron Ralston encountered.
Here is a list of my favorable “Handbook of Happiness”:
Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that
is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in last year.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours at least.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.
Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts for things you cannot control. Instead
invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't overdo. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her
mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems
are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like
algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...
Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
will. Stay in touch.
Life:
32. However good or bad a situation is, it will change…
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. You are only as old as you feel.
35. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
Further readings:
http://www.economist.com/node/17722567/comments
http://www.economist.com/node/17722567
http://www2.macleans.ca/2010/10/11/when-life-goes-u-shaped/
klaybor.blogspot.com/2011/02/u-bend-of-life.html
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