10-3-2010
“KJ: Music and Life” comes as a complete revelation to me as it is the first local documentary that reveals a child’s story candidly and channels us to understand our children and ourselves more. It reminds me how powerful our children’s inner world can be if we listen to them with care and love.
The 90-minute documentary, through an intimate interview and interweaved with beautiful, compelling symphonies, discloses a talented young musician’s growing-up phrases during his 11 and 17 respectively, in which a sensitive soul, a passionate young leader and an expressive teenager vividly presents his own attitude towards common social value system, his conflicts between his peers and family, and his struggle searching for the meaning of life.
As a parent of a teen, I believe KJ’s case is not unique, but a typical example of affluent Asia families. KJ himself is also not alone but quite representative of many adolescents.
KJ, the main character of the documentary, is a controversial figure in many ways to his audience as well as his peers and family. On the surface, he is arrogant, short-tempered, dominant in personality and stubborn to some extent like many geniuses and talented musicians. From his own point of view when he looks back, he admits he was very bad at presenting himself, hurting others’ feeling probably because of his immaturity and frustration and definitely need to improve. However with a child under pressure of competitions that he has not been actually enjoying for many years, we can empathize with his situation and understand why he says his childhood was destroyed by being crowned as a music prodigy.
KJ’s young life simply mirrors the life of many children in middle-class families in Hong Kong and Asia these days. From kindergartens to primary school, almost all children’s time is filled with hectic schedules that it is hoped this would accelerate their development to be more competitive with all-round abilities. When they get home, physically worn out, they still have to struggle with a heavy homework load, prepare for tests or complete projects to a deadline.
Clearly, they merely don’t really know what a carefree childhood is like by the time it has already come to the end. Although they are affluent enough, they are starved of mental care and communication.
Watching the real-child-life movie, I was wondering if our parents in the modern world really understand our children – whether we can spend time listening to them to find out their real interests and likes. We are only following the trend blindly and are pushed by this competitive society. Are we projecting our personal dreams on our children rather than letting our children live their own dreams? This will eventually bury our kids’ curiosity, creativity and talent.
Some think this film ends up with a tragedy when KJ doesn’t grow up as famous as people and especially his father expected. Their parents’ divorce is another negative impact on their children’s development. In my view, every child has his own process of growing up. KJ is gradually proving that despite his young age, his attitude toward success, money, fame, marriage - these big issues of life, is more sensible and significant compared with our adults’ traditional values.
In his view, to live only for fame and money is too superficial. That is why he prefers to choose a piece of music which is 2 minutes longer than required in an intra-school music competition. He believes winning a competition is never more vital than learning something and making a challenge of the competition process itself.
Through music, he has been pursuing the meaning of life since he was only a young boy: why is he playing the piano while many people are starving? Is that fair or is that fate? “If everyone knows music, there is no war,” he signs. I was overwhelmed by such an 11 year-old boy’s outlook on the world through his music life.
At the end, this young boy sadly but frankly reveals his heartbroken feelings about his parents’ divorce. Although we can see how damaging parents’ divorce to a young child’s soul and its impact to their future development esp. in personality and belief, I was relieved and surprised to see his strength and insight into this event: He said he has learnt many things in his life from the divorce: whatever he may be, a doctor or musician, a person is inhuman if he betrays his wife, and disrespects his family. KJ is advising parents that to be a responsible, honest husband and wife is the best thing of wellbeing one can give to their children. I believe this is also a compelling message our children can give to their parents.
The documentary also reveals a fact that an affluent life to children does not mean it will make them happy. Like every child, KJ needs parents’ understanding and encouragement rather than over-pressure, excessively high expectation. He is very sad when we found he has communication problems with his father. This film brings another strong message that growing up process involves improvement of communication skills for both parents and children. Parents should grow up simultaneously with children in order to understand and communicate with them, thereby giving them a happy family and childhood.
It is a great pleasure to see that after several years of confusion and struggling, the young musician has developed his own critical thinking system – music is not just music but par of his life. His dream is not to be successful in each competition but to be a real ‘human being’. He thinks it is not important who we are but what we are; as a human being, we should answer to our soul, be sincere to ourselves.
I watched it with my boy and my husband during the Chinese New Year and all of us were moved by its sheer honesty, frankness elements that we haven’t seen for a long time. We earnestly recommend parents with their teen children to watch the movie /DVD together because you will definitely discover something you have missed but essential from your children and yourselves.
I am grateful to KJ, his family and Director Cheung King Wai for presenting us such a wonderful journey via this thought-provoking and striking music documentary.
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