Happiness and Health

Monday, July 16, 2012

A letter to SON

Being considerate is not for only for others but for self happiness as Happiness is interactive consequence and process. Your character will break u or make you. Being considerate is the base of trust-building, your first wealth is trust you win from others - you would have wealth easily if you have trust /respect given by others.

I think you have learned something today.

As jealousy is very serious limiting block in life and a waste of time, I have been thought of this topic for a long time until now I got some insightful ideas on it. This issue has been getting further away from me since I came to HK and worked for some years. I found if I try as hard and smart as others who I admire, I can get it as well. So all I need to do is to equip and well prepare for myself, nothing else I need to care too much except I need to admire, learn and try, but not envy.

My favorite quotes on jealousy:

Jealousy is when you count someone else's blessings instead of yours.

Jealousy is a mental cancer.

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James

quotes on critizing jealousy

http://www.quotegarden.com/jealousy.html

Jealousy - an life long issue to tackle

JEALOUSY will takes one's life time to learn and discuss, I bet, thought I thought jealousy has been not my big issue for a long time. However, "All of us can be sometimes feel jealous, even saints can be tested."

What I impressed me most from the talk is we cannot prevent this damaging emotion until it attack us and others (harmful to our health and others' ). It will be not an issue if we do the practice WS suggests subconsciously, anytime and anywhere if necessary and if we can.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Jealousy can kill

http://www.snazzyspace.com/graphicviewer/quotes/jealousy-disease-gif

My mentor Mr Chris Howard in 7 keys to Wealth says:

Character can make you and kill you. If you don't want your character to kill you, you must kill self-ego first and you must get rid of jealous mind whenever it staqrt to affect your emotion and before it damage your relationship with others and with yourself.

Dr Wah Shan ( 华山), my another mentor, gave us a talk and practice workshop last night on " Teach me how to get rid of jealousy."

That moment, I realised

Jealousy is reflection of spiritual scarcity. A person with abundance mindset will have less room for jealousy. Jealousy is a projection of self-weakness or vulnerability.

However, subconsciously, it implies that we are hungry for similar achievement of others, something to drive us to achieve as others'.

On the negative side, jealousy is a damaging emotion, breaking our relationships, and career as it can cause unproductive status, depression, and mental diseases, violence to an extreme.

In our self character building process, learning to control our jealous emotion is extremely important stage and maybe a lifelong learning process.

Wah Shan says: 擁有踏實的內在自我價值﹐不再需要去嫉妒任何人. I couldn't agree more.

A person with high self-esteem and value on himself will have an abundance model, sharing, empathic and gratitude and compassionate mindset allow him to accept others' high status and achievements and be happy for them. A scarcity model, on the opposite side, turn to be narrow-minded, high self-ego and low self-assurance. Anything from others better than him can be a trigger to hurt his self-ego and get him mad.

In the talk, Wan Shan shared his very practical methods to get rid of jealousy:

Step 1: Meditation of thanksgiving as your daily practice

To close your eyes and thank people in your life from the time you have memory to now, and anyone who have ever helped you or still support you, people who love you and work with you. From this, I find my value, energy and regaining self-esteem, even your purpose of living ultimately.

I thank for my parents to give me a free-handed bringing- up, carefree childhood, I thank all teachers in my life and all managers, colleagues and mentors. Thanks for my friends and esp. my husband who gives me support spiritually and finanacially and a family that I love and dedicate myself to.

Step 2 : Meditation of self-appreiation as daily practice

Appreciate self: at least 3 good parts in character, in ability.

I am curious, open-minded, like an ocean, absorbing nutrition from everywhere.

I am quite good-tempered and kind-hearted, emphatic usually and happy to share and help out.

I am diversified, creative, flexible and cooperative.

From this process, I find my strength and energy to improve.

I believe everyone has ability to remedy problems created by self. So through this, we find our energy to solve our own problems.

Step 3: Imagine when you carry on last two process daily, what differences will you make?

Very sure, we will turn to more abundant, spiritually enriched and compassionate.

Step 4: Confess jealousy is your problem and turn it to a gift of your life

Acknowledge first that you have that jealousy problem. Unless you do this, you'll never be able to address and overcome your jealousy the way it should be. Work on your fears, anxiety and worry or mindset of Scarcity.

http://www.ehow.com/how_6389684_overcome-jealousy-insecurity.html

"Because fear is always the root of every
jealousy, then the first thing you have to deal with is your fear. Look inside your heart and find out, what it is that makes you jealous. Is it fear of being dump because of more beautiful or more sexy "rival"? Or fear of him become more inclined to be with her instead of you?"

http://www.relationship-advice-for-all.com/controlling-jealousy-03.htm

Once confession is done, you will peacfully face it and exam your own issues:

Do I really love myself? Do I compassionate enough? Do I have enough self confidence? Do I really want to be the person I am jealous of?

Stpe 5: What can I do to get rid of jealous mindset and to move forwardto achieve my goals?

a. Thank people whoever I need to thank; Writing thanks notes and sending to them or express orally

b. Appriecate yourself and others; Every day find something new

c. Read more and share more; Learn to love and Trust self and others;

d. Set goal and do assessment when approaching the goal;

f. Put your feet in others' shoes.

If we can face it, admit it and turn it to drive us to be rational to see self , to appreciate self as well as others, and to improve so that we have confidence to make up our spiritual scarcity, we can be free from jealous negative emotion and move forward with fulfillment each day .