GEN,
I could not sleep last night when you looked so down during the exam period.
Thinking back for my time in POLYTECHNIC, I considered it to be my biggest challenge as my English was far far behind (only 3 years in ENGLISH STUDY from ABC since I came to HK). I said to myself, if I had the chance to be admitted, I must have the ability because people thought I could, so I should not look down to myself. I just did every day the best I could and that was enough. I didn't think anything else. The final year was also terribly tough because of my arthritis that forced me to stay at home for some time. But I managed to get passed in all anyway and got the first job before graduation in my class, recommended by our dept head, LEE Sir.
Thanks for grandmother 's acupuncture, I could walk to attend the external exams. All of our exams were organized by UK Us.
After that, I found everything was much easier and manageable than I expected in my working life.
Uncle Qiu, living on SANDWICH for his bachelor studying life and never told us this. He was in hospital once. He never complained anything.
I think you must have grown up especially on managing your emotion and viewing challenge and difficulty. You have learnt some NLP. In life, most of what you think is illusion, imagination. It all depending how you think and your attitude. Your self-talk is self-hypnosis that controls your life. You need to import positive thinking every day. Remember: emotion influence behavior and thus result.
Don't be underestimate yourself during exam and critical time. Be confident in facing any challenge. And don't over estimate in yourself either during any time. Both are limiting factors and only make you stuck or left behind. Be facing a real self and try to polish it to be perfect (communication with and relationship to others and to inner your selfless; try to understand from other's point of view and multi-views) and minimize blind spots. Then you will be much relaxed and happier and healthier.
Mum
___________________________________________________
Every day will be different and every day will be another day. That is what I say to myself in my life everyday so I don't want to carry any bad historic baggage ( past unhappy experiences) on my life .Today's u is not tomorrow's u. You can make it better by yourself. And only you can. Nobody can but can help you if you know how to to manipulate the resources..
Mum
______________________________________________________
Some suggestions -
Just to get some improvement on emotion control (peaceful mind at any time), physical strength (need workout not just Vitamins and supplements. Habituating yourself to run or to do any daily exercise is the key for your long term well-being and find a better way to study.
A good life habit and lifestyle makes your life much smooth and relaxed. You know that bad habits will create many troubles and that is accumulated to a level that damages health and personal development. It is a cliché talk but common sense is not common. Many people don't know themselves at all.
I found a successful person embraces the following characters:
1
responsible to himself and others
2
be kind to others with a loving and helpful mind
3
empathy and understanding ( put his own foot in other's shoe)
4
open-minded and never waste chance to learn from mistakes and from others
5
curious
6
resourceful
7
resilience and toughness
8
flexible
9
respect to self and others by being punctual and good communication (TRY TO AVOID MISUNDERSTANDING)
10
tactful and skillful and efficient
11
self loving (TO LOVE self by keeping a good lifestyle) and self esteemed but not self centred
Mon
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
It’s a matter of a choice
3-12-2010
Life is a journey of choice. Almost in every aspect and every day, there is an array of choices in front of us. Different choices lead to different consequences.
Talking about lifestyles, America’s health and fit icon Mr Jack Lalanne at his age 95 now is still energetic, he is still writing a book, working out and swimming 2 hours each single day. Unfortunately many people at 20s to 30s start complain to have backs, head pains or/and joint aching, etc. The fact is cancers, diabetes and heart attacks and all major diseases are never elderly evils. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJVEPB_l8FU) But they are avoidable to some extent with a health lifestyle.
Looking at my parents, these years they have travelled to Tibet at their age 79 and 77, visited the Shanghai Expo and many places in the world. They do dancing, go hiking and swimming as their routines. It is our blessing to have such energetic parents.
It’s sad to hear some people make excuse that they don’t care to live long but just want to enjoy life now. “I don’t have time to do workout.” “I can’t live without cigarettes.” Processed food in salty, high sugar content or fatty types has dominated the main menus or become the favorite for our young generation. No wonder more and more young people and children are being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. “While not everyone with type 2 diabetes is overweight, obesity and lack of physical activity are two of the most common causes of this form of diabetes.” (Please read: http://diabetes.webmd.com/guide/type-2-diabetes)
The truth is if we continue to abuse our bodies, ignore health and fitness, we will eventually be aging earlier and be lying in hospital bed even at our young or mid-ages. Not only will our body be damaged physically but mentally if we don’t choose a healthier life NOW.
Here is a set of tips:
Stand if you don’t have to sit;
Leaves 70% full and never eat too much especially before sleep or need to sit for a long time;
Walk for at least 10-15 minutes after each meal;
2- hour workout at least once a week;
Less sweets, fat and salt and as more variety of vegetables/fruits as possible;
Drink different sources of water like mineral water, fruit juice and vegetable juices
How we treat our body in our daily life will result in completely different quality of life in any phase of our life; especially we are reaching at older age. In fact, our body is remarkably resilient than we expected. It is never too late to start change to a healthier lifestyle. You can still enjoying your life fully and completely at any age as soon as you change to be fitter and healthier. It is all because of matter of what you want to be.
Mentally fitness is even more important than physically because it has been proved that 90% of cancers are related to long-term melancholy, anxiety and depression.
No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Most people in their lives have some heartbreaking experiences and setbacks in their careers. That is life. But you can choose to be still optimistic - get up, look forward to start a new you; or you can stick to live in the dark shadow by carrying the historical loading, past issues or “unforgettable accident” on your shoulder, limiting your potential to be better, let alone excel entirely.
(Please watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl58qufXfYk)
In our inner spiritual world, we have freedom to make the best choices in our communication with ourselves and the outside world. We can choose to be the owners or to be the slaves of our emotion, which controls our behavior, manner and our destiny or fate. The thing is we usually choose to be the later - that is to be vulnerable rather than strong.
It is undeniable that our personal happiness, family wellbeing, and quality of life are all determined by our choices. We should take the responsibility to what we choose that is controlled by our emotion; that means we must be responsible to our emotion. Learning to control our emotion is a life learning and self-development process.
To build up a healthier lifestyle physically and mentally is a value system and an attitude change process – if you value yourself and your family and people who love you so much, you will be opt for a change - to stay on healthy life habits, optimistic philosophy and positive thinking, even when facing challenges. Simple, positive thinking means constructive approach, by which you will make things better. What do you want? Better or worse?
It is all up to your own choice. If you have made a wrong decision, you have to take the consequence but don’t forget that you have the ability to correct it before it is too late. There are no unsolved problems but unresourceful state. That is the most vital lesson I’ve learnt in my life.
The following statements can influence us for life –
Chris Howard:
Situational behavioral flexibility increase effectiveness.
Ecology of outcome mist be considered and evaluated because ecological framework increases wholeness.
Only feedback no failure, so utilize everything.
Respect other person’s model of the world.
Choice is the desired condition, so design processes to gain more choices, not fewer.
If you help people to get what they want most, you will get what you want most.
Change occurring on the unconscious level is pervasive and creates ling –lasting results.
Denis Waitley:
“Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future.”
“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.”
“Our limitations and success will be based, most often, on your own expectations for ourselves. What the mind dwells upon, the body acts upon.”
Charles R. Swindoll:
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”
Anonymous:
Attitude to chance: the weak wait for chance, the smart look for chance and the strong create chance.
Facing failures or setbacks:
When facing any setback and adversity, just accept it, face it, deal with it and put it down. Most importantly, move forward, don’ t look back.
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